...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Dean and Lisa are basically the Buffy and Angel of a new generation. Except, if possible, MORE HEARTBREAKING because Dean didn't bring all that shit on himself by running around torturing dudes with a horrible wig and worse accent for hundred years. Oh my God I am basically CRYING FOREVER right now.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

So dudes, my wetsuit arrived today and because a) the postman woke me up early delivering it and b) you know, it's NEW and I get excited about new things, I had to go try it out in the sea. And then it started raining. And I was totally warm. It was great, I've only come back because the fog started rolling in and I couldn't see properly.

Also, my room is now approximately 40% less of a shambles than it was before - I got motivated to start unpacking when Johnny commented that 'It looks like an episode of Hoarders in here - maybe a Halloween episode or a special addition called "When Goths Go Wrong" or something.' Nothing like being compared to mentally ill, morbidly obese Americans to kick-start a person's clean-up efforts. It still kind of looks like a hurricane went crazy in a Forbidden Planet store, but slightly less so than it did before, so that's okay.

In other news, I discovered a while ago that a book I quite enjoyed, "Johannes Cabal the Detective", was actually the second in a series, the first being "Johannes Cabal the Necromancer." I just finished reading it and it was awesome. The same spooky, off-kilter world-building that you get in movies like NBX or the Corpse Bride, or books like Gloom Cookie or May Bird, but combined with a snarky narrative voice and the subtle mocking of it's own genre that Joss Whedon used to be so awesome at back in the day. I think I'll probably like the second one even more if I was to reread it now, aswell.

I have to go now, my mum is making ginger scones and I want to eat some before Buzz Lighthair gets there and steals them all. Laters!

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

Oh man, you guys, I have just had my best idea ever! Having finally succumbed to my own suckiness, I have purchased the alledgedly "ultimate" edition of Alexander, and was disappointed to discover it contained no Colin Farrel/Jared Leto sex scenes, no dinosaurs, no lasers and no car chases. I mean, can you really call anything an "ultimate" version of something if there aren't even any car chases? Shame on you, Oliver Stone.

Anyway, while pondering the injustice of misleading Hollywood reissues, I sulked my way through an extra twenty minutes of Jared Leto and Colin Farrel not getting it on, and at last Ye Olde Anthony Hopkins appeared to tell me my pain was at an end, as signalled by a shot of a statue that looks nothing like The Colin. I sigh a sigh of bitterest disappointment while Anthony Hopkins and his beard witter on about "the greatest man I ever knew," blahblahblah historical boringcakes, and then I hear the words, "Mecha Alexandros".

And that's when it hit me. The key to a successful retelling of the Alexander legend is to set it in SPACE! Instead of Macedonian sheep herders, Alexander will be descended from the inventors of the first Mecha capable of space flight, but the evil Persian empire has long since co-opted the technology for their own nefarious purposes. Led by the dread king D3r1u5, the Persian empire assassinate King Phillip in a bid to subvert intergalactic patent laws relating to their new mechanical army. However, they have reckoned without the bravery of the young Prince Alexander and his snake-charming MILF, Queen Olympias.

Buccephelus will be Alexanders' fighter craft, who talks, and Nearchus will be a flamboyantly gay space pirate who is never seen without a bottle of mineral water in hand and insists on referring to Alexander and "Alexander the Fabulous". Hephaestion will take over the traditional "bitchy queen" role and largely be based on Cordelia Chase.

Obviously it would be super-awesome if we can get Jared Leto and Colin Farrel back, but on the offchance that they want nothing to do with this thing of beauty, I already have the new cast in line: Nick Stahl will play the role of Alexander, with Sean Maher playing Hephaestion. Christian Slater will be Philip, Cynthia Ettinger will be Olympias and the role of Nearchus will be ably filled by Zachary Quinto. IT CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG!

Oh dudes, I am watching the Buffy movie for the first time in like, ten years (seriously, the last time I watched it I still lived at home and it was on TV) and it's so random and campy and beautiful and it's totally making me want to watch the TV series again even though I just watched all of it* like a month ago. Like when they're interviewing kids at the end and that one guy is all, "They had fangs and they were biting people and their eyes were totally dead - I think they were Young Republicans" and that part where Buffy steals the dude's bike and he's like, "Skank! You're a dyke! I'm going to tell the world!" or the fact that her friends are totally Heathers and the one guy who is still dying even after the end credits and it's so beautiful.

Also, this massive spider just ran across my floor and I was so busy giggling about the Buffy movie that I dropped a book on it before I even had a chance to freak out. Yes, it is that good!

Also I watched Interview with the Vampire today and oh my God, how much is the making of Claudia like, the vampire equivilent of deliberately getting knocked up in order to trap a dude into a relationship? She's like a three foot high walking piece of emotional blackmail. Andandand that bit where she tells Louis that she wants to leave and he's all whiny and like, "No that will never happen MY LIFE IS MISERY AND DESPAIR!" and she makes this awesome "get over yourself" face that makes me laugh and which is made even funnier by the fact that she's like seven years old, and that bit where she tells Lestat she has a present for him and he's all, "Then I hope it's a hot babe with boobies which you will never have!" and I'm like OH TOTAL BURN because nothing is worse than the "you'll never be a wo/man!" burn (see also: Kenny from Highlander or Peter Pan in that awesome movie where Jason Isaacs was Hook).

ALSO! Snithy, you should totally have let me show you Bully this weekend - it had male strippers, but they were young and sleek and, if not actually attractive, at least not eye-gougingly hideous and Clivelike. Also, naked Nick Stahl! Being naked and totally mean and punching people for no good reason! Nick Stahl is surely one of the most under-rated beautiful men of our time.

Then again, Bully was actually good so you probably would have had an allergic reaction to it seeing as you only like things that suck in the not-good way, Mrs "Carnivale and OUATIM and the 4400 are crap oh wait let me watch two seasons of the Lair and give us both brain damage!"

Man, you know that fuckwad who created Kidulthood, and all those other even bigger fuckwads who went on about how great it was, when in fact it was a shitty movie about a bunch of dumbass chavs doing dumbass chav things and not getting sterilized and/or shot down like rabid dogs which is really what needed to happen, both in the film and in real life? It would be so great if Larry Clark could give those people lessons in how to make movies about young people that are dark and true and also don't totally fucking suck.

*And by "all of it", what I actually mean is "the first three seasons because I try to pretend everything after Graduation Day didn't happen."

Dudes, I just saw the last episode of the Tribe and really, how fucking stupid do you have to be not to realise that an AI with the combined personalities of a dead sociopath and a live megalomaniac is going to wind up going SkyNet all over the place? What an idiot!

Man, I so want a Zoot AI of my own now. Especially if I could put it on the PCs at work and have it smile creepily every time someone tried to ask me an inane question. Which would actually be all the time. Maybe if someone asked me a non-retarded question, he'd Vogue.

And now, meme answers!

Scheherezhad wanted to know my top five Eerie moments:

1: The scene in the Hole in the Head Gang where Simon and Mars see the fake ghost head for the first time, and Mars is like ARRRRRGGGHHHH-*takes picture*-AARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
2: The scene in Scariest Home Movies where Harley steps on the female leads' dress and it rips and you see her knickers and then he turns and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the audience - is there anything funnier than a pervy six year old?
3: The scene in Who's Who where Simon tells Sarah Sue-Bob that she should try telling her family how she feels, and Sarah Sue-Bob says that she hopes "this isn't some New Age peaceful thing that will backfire on me," and then it does!
4: Dash and Mars' almost-kiss in the alley behind the Loyal Order of Corn. Yes it was, shut the fuck up.
5: The Foreverware Wave.

Chibimarchy wanted to know my top five canon or fanom pairings from any fandom:

Canon pairings:
1: Buffy and Angel (BtVS/Angel) I swear, I will be like sixty and watching it on the DVD player surgically grafted onto my face as I zoom around the Moon Station with my personal jetpack, and I will still be crying over that scene at the end of season three where he shows up to take her to the prom. And then I'll probably crash into a satellite because I can't see where I'm going through the tears.
2: Van and Hitomi (Escaflowne) Even though in the end Hitomi chose indoor plumbing and electricty over young love and an early death from cholera due to Fanelia's appalling lack of infrastructure, I got a bit choked up during that scene where she decides to go back to him and as she's running on the track, he appears on the Escaflowne in a pillar of light and he's about to speak and she just throws herself into his arms. Having said that, I also quite liked the scene in Operation: Golden Rule of Love where he was trying to tell her how he felt and he ended up saying he wanted her powers instead and she bitchslapped him.
3: Rita Sue and Jonesy (Carnivale) That first time, where she takes off his brace, was so bitter-sweet and beautiful, and afterwards they were so hot and heavy together, the way they couldn't keep their hands off each other - Rita Sue is so jaded and worldly when it comes to sex and love and marriage, so having her fall for Jonesy that hard made it all the more meaningful. And of course all the more heartbreaking when he broke it off.
4: Jack and Ellie (the Tribe) I just think they're adorable together - like when he renames their newspaper the Amulet and she says he's beautiful, or the conversation with the walkie-talkies where neither of them want to hang up - and that scene where you find out that it's Ellie sending Ebony all the death threats, because she blames her forJack being taken, and Ebony gets her trademark sass on and Ellie just lunges for her and Ebony's like OMGWTF and even Techno Ranger almost manages an expression.
5: Lucas and Selina (American Gothic) Because... because they're Lucas and Selina, come on, like I even have to explain that!

Fanon pairings:
1: Jordan/Shawn (4400) Because the debauching of underage boys by morally ambiguous, totally hot, beard-having Messiah figures is awesome.
2: Bray/Lex (the Tribe) Because alpha-male power struggles are also awesome, especially if one party habitually wears a lot of leather and eyeliner, and especially-specially if it tends to devolve into homoerotic wrestling matches.
3: Scipio/Prosper (the Thief Lord) Because underage boylove in Venice? Yes, that too is awesome.
4: Mars/Dash (Eerie Indiana) As above, but in Indiana.
5: Colby/Charlie (Numb3rs) Because... dude, look at them! That's why!

itsjustc wanted to know my top five Tribe characters:

1: Jack
2: Lex
3: KC
4: Ebony
5: Bray

Dudes, I would just like to point out that if there was some kind of big vampire convention and all the fictional vampires got invited, Edward Cullen would not be allowed to sit at the Awesome Table. In fact, he wouldn't even get a table. He would have to sit huddled in the corner where the rising damp is, with the other rejects like Mick from Moonlight and Henry from Blood Ties. And all the vampires at the Awesome Table like Angelus and Eric and David would laugh at them and make mocking and hurtful remarks and possibly throw things.

GAYEST NINJAS EVER! Oh my fucking God, why is there not more Being Human? Like, right now. I need it! I'm trying to watch Mad Men and I can't even lust after YoSaffBridge properly because I'm getting cranky that there is no flaily werewolf action. Jon Hamm would be an awesome werewolf, but he wouldn't flail. Probably. He'd just be morose and sad and then randomly fucking punch you in your face!

Also on the subject of Mad Men, I am so glad Brickhead gave her baby away. Can you imagine how ugly the child of her and Connor would be? Seriously. It would in fact be Sloth. Gross.

Dude. Don. Quit looking into your drink all sad-like and do some flailing. Your handsome face no longer pleases me.

Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.

Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.

Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you.

Dudes! Okay so, I generally try and pretend the last four seasons of Buffy never happened, mostly because thinking about them sparks off a twnety minute string of profanities about the shitness of Dawn/Riley/Kennedy and the downfall of Buffy and I really try not to mention what Xander devolved into because it breaks my heart a bit and of course you have Spike's eighty-odd-episodes-long character rape and I'm going to stop now because otherwise this post will be another swearathon, but anyway! So I always thought that Andrew was a bit shit, although in fairness by the time it ended he was the only one I wasn't actively hoping would die, but only because he was just lame instead of rage-inducingly dislikable. But anyway, I was watching that episode of Angel with the mental Slayer who cuts off Spike's hands, and I realised, it's Amita from Numb3rs. And now I'm thinking, Andrew can't have been as much of a 'tard as I thought he was, because apparently his training program not only makes you not be crazy, it turns you into a kind of Maths Superhero.

And now I think Amita Ramanujan: Vampire Slayer should be a show. Or maybe she can be a character in my Zombie Dickens fest - like when Zombie Twist is all, "Please sir, can I have some more... BRAINS ARRRGHRAHGARGHCHOMPYFACE!" Amita can dramatically ninja in through the window and dismember him.

I'm not sure how I feel about Amita/The Dave, though. Probably he would have another love interest that was Lindsey no I didn't just write that.

Also, where is all my Jayne/Simon porn? I thought I bookmarked it under memories but it's gone away. Boo!