...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

"don't sulk van" its not like your country just burned down and everyone you know is missing or dead and also you're in jail #escaflowne

I've just watched the episode of Escaflowne where they go to Palas and they're eating dinner with King Aston and he's all like, "Incidentally, ALLEN, it's said that being too beautiful is a sin, ALLEN, and some people at this table might want to sort their girly faces out, mentioning no names, ALLEN," and seriously, what is Allen supposed to do? He can't really help his face. I suppose he could grow a paeodophile-moustache ala Jude Law, but that's a lot to ask a dude just to prevent Astoria's princesses from following him around with starry eyes and damp panties.

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Dudes, I just finished watching Escaflowne and I never picked up on this before, but is Folken kind of retarded or what? 'Cause, you know, he keeps sending Dilandau into these situations that obviously need a bit of delicate handling and then he gets all outraged and cranky when Dilandau starts setting fire to shit in the middle of a mission.

And okay, the first couple of times you sent him to kill one dude or nick one Guymelef and he ended up burning an entire city to the ground, maybe you'd think it was inexperiance or the heat of battle or whatever, but by the sixth or seventh time he pulls the exact same stunt, wouldn't you be like, "Okay, you stay home and mind the Fortress, Chesta can handle this since we're only going to collect one fucking sword, you little prick!"

Stupid Zaibach. If you're going to hire people that dumb to be your Stragegos, you don't deserve to rule the fucking world. Assholes.

Dudes, I just saw the last episode of the Tribe and really, how fucking stupid do you have to be not to realise that an AI with the combined personalities of a dead sociopath and a live megalomaniac is going to wind up going SkyNet all over the place? What an idiot!

Man, I so want a Zoot AI of my own now. Especially if I could put it on the PCs at work and have it smile creepily every time someone tried to ask me an inane question. Which would actually be all the time. Maybe if someone asked me a non-retarded question, he'd Vogue.

And now, meme answers!

Scheherezhad wanted to know my top five Eerie moments:

1: The scene in the Hole in the Head Gang where Simon and Mars see the fake ghost head for the first time, and Mars is like ARRRRRGGGHHHH-*takes picture*-AARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
2: The scene in Scariest Home Movies where Harley steps on the female leads' dress and it rips and you see her knickers and then he turns and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the audience - is there anything funnier than a pervy six year old?
3: The scene in Who's Who where Simon tells Sarah Sue-Bob that she should try telling her family how she feels, and Sarah Sue-Bob says that she hopes "this isn't some New Age peaceful thing that will backfire on me," and then it does!
4: Dash and Mars' almost-kiss in the alley behind the Loyal Order of Corn. Yes it was, shut the fuck up.
5: The Foreverware Wave.

Chibimarchy wanted to know my top five canon or fanom pairings from any fandom:

Canon pairings:
1: Buffy and Angel (BtVS/Angel) I swear, I will be like sixty and watching it on the DVD player surgically grafted onto my face as I zoom around the Moon Station with my personal jetpack, and I will still be crying over that scene at the end of season three where he shows up to take her to the prom. And then I'll probably crash into a satellite because I can't see where I'm going through the tears.
2: Van and Hitomi (Escaflowne) Even though in the end Hitomi chose indoor plumbing and electricty over young love and an early death from cholera due to Fanelia's appalling lack of infrastructure, I got a bit choked up during that scene where she decides to go back to him and as she's running on the track, he appears on the Escaflowne in a pillar of light and he's about to speak and she just throws herself into his arms. Having said that, I also quite liked the scene in Operation: Golden Rule of Love where he was trying to tell her how he felt and he ended up saying he wanted her powers instead and she bitchslapped him.
3: Rita Sue and Jonesy (Carnivale) That first time, where she takes off his brace, was so bitter-sweet and beautiful, and afterwards they were so hot and heavy together, the way they couldn't keep their hands off each other - Rita Sue is so jaded and worldly when it comes to sex and love and marriage, so having her fall for Jonesy that hard made it all the more meaningful. And of course all the more heartbreaking when he broke it off.
4: Jack and Ellie (the Tribe) I just think they're adorable together - like when he renames their newspaper the Amulet and she says he's beautiful, or the conversation with the walkie-talkies where neither of them want to hang up - and that scene where you find out that it's Ellie sending Ebony all the death threats, because she blames her forJack being taken, and Ebony gets her trademark sass on and Ellie just lunges for her and Ebony's like OMGWTF and even Techno Ranger almost manages an expression.
5: Lucas and Selina (American Gothic) Because... because they're Lucas and Selina, come on, like I even have to explain that!

Fanon pairings:
1: Jordan/Shawn (4400) Because the debauching of underage boys by morally ambiguous, totally hot, beard-having Messiah figures is awesome.
2: Bray/Lex (the Tribe) Because alpha-male power struggles are also awesome, especially if one party habitually wears a lot of leather and eyeliner, and especially-specially if it tends to devolve into homoerotic wrestling matches.
3: Scipio/Prosper (the Thief Lord) Because underage boylove in Venice? Yes, that too is awesome.
4: Mars/Dash (Eerie Indiana) As above, but in Indiana.
5: Colby/Charlie (Numb3rs) Because... dude, look at them! That's why!

itsjustc wanted to know my top five Tribe characters:

1: Jack
2: Lex
3: KC
4: Ebony
5: Bray

You know, I had this whole post planned out about how I love Escaflowne and I was going to go through it and talk about all the little touches that made it so perfect and beautiful, but I just watched the movie and now all I cam think to say is:


HORSEY GO BOOM!


That is all.

You know, I had this whole post planned out about how I love Escaflowne and I was going to go through it and talk about all the little touches that made it so perfect and beautiful, but I just watched the movie and now all I cam think to say is:

HORSEY GO BOOM!

That is all.

Fuck you, Homicide! I swear to God, just fuck you! Not content with ruining nearly two weeks of good fandom-intentions, you have to sneak into my other fandoms and wreck them for me too. To recap: it's Sunday afternoon. I've just made a big batch of brownies with nuts and I'm kicking back with a plate of chocolatey goodness, a glass of milk and Eerie, Indiana. Thanks to the beautifulness that is Agent Sands (MOAR AGENT SANDS PLZ!) last night, I have more or less gotten over my Homicide-related hissy fit and I'm feeling pretty mellow. I'm watching No Brain, No Pain and it's that scene where Syndi is looking after the crazy homeless dude and she's trying to explain Todd and Donna in Latvian and suddenly I'm thinking, "Wait a minute, I know that voice..." and it's fucking Kyle Secor aka Wee Bayliss playing Todd, and suddenly all my hatred comes rushing back and the whole experiance is ruined and I go off in a sulk to watch Escaflowne. DON'T FUCKING FOLLOW ME THERE, WEE BAYLISS! THE LOVE IS DEAD!

Fuck you, Homicide. Seriously.

Let's do a meme, loserfaces:

1) make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (that way you're not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)

2) ask your flist to post questions in the comments.

for example: 'one, nine and fifteen are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from four. do they succeed?'
'under what circumstances might five and seven fall in love?'
'which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?'
'write a drabble in which three and five fight crime.' (...possibly not technically a question.)

3) after your flist has asked enough questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.

In other news, it's the first of October, which means I should be putting my Halloween decorations up right about now, but I just spent most of the afternoon watching Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive and I'm pretty sure I now have massive brain damage as a result. Of course, you could argue that in order to have wasted a whole afternoon watching Power Rangers I must have been pretty retarded in the first place, to which I say SHUT UP DON'T JUDGE ME ASSHOLES!

It was pretty fucking hilarious, though - Bray wanders around dressed as a Jedi Padawan, gets turned into a dinosaur (which incidentally is still a better plot line than all three Star Wars prequels put together), has a really quite marvelous Dilandau-esque "no my pretty face!" moment as a result, cries about some gay broken crystal, gets turned human again, gets melted (twice), gets reconstituted (twice), almost gets tentacle-raped (twice), broods (a lot), angsts (a lot), questions his leadership abilities (a lot), bitchslaps a bunch of people with his magical liquid mercury bitch-slappin' hands, steals a hat, tries to flirt with a pretty girl and ends up looking like a spastic, starts stripping in public (the Black Ranger stops him, FAIL, Black Ranger), tries talking like a homie, asks a lot of questions about breakfast foods (I know wtf), has a girlfriend that he thinks is dead that turns out not to be dead and is played by Beth Allen (although at least this time she wasn't faking her own death to get out of dating him), gets attacked by cats in robot battle armour about a million times, and drives a police car that is not as awesome as Zoots.

Anyway, now I'm going to make a cup of tea and watch the Wire, and probably get mad that nobody gets turned into dinosaurs. Sigh. Oh the Wire, you were so nearly perfect.

Advent Children, oh my God! It's totally better on a second viewing, because the first time around you're all, hoping for AWESOME PLOTNESS but also harbouring the secret fears that it will be another Spirits Within, so it's like OMG TEH TENSION, but the second time around you can sit back, relax, and laugh yourself stupid at Kadaj's Oedipus complex. And also be relieved that the dubbed version omits the creepy leather noises. Why God, why?!

I was kind of suprised to hear Crispin Freeman playing Rude, as I automatically assumed he would be Sephiroth. I love Crispin Freeman, but he has this tendancy to make all his characters sound really, really pervy. Sometimes it works (Alucard, Rosiel, Touga-may-he-die-horribly-in-some-kind-of-accident-with-the-Akiocar) and sometimes it doesn't (Zelgadis). And on Rude, it just doesn't. Although I nearly pissed myself when he and Reno are talking about the bombs and Reno's like, "Flashy, huh?" and Rude goes, *pervy Crispin Freeman voice* "Yeah, you love it." I bet he does.

Of course, I completely forgive the casting directors because oh my God, Vincent Valentine is Shishio! This is awesome on a level beyond my comprehension, and completely makes up for the fact that Andrew Francis was somehow not cast as Kadaj. Because you know Kadaj is just movie!Dilandau five years down the line. Although I'm not sure I'm over casting Quinton Flynn rather than David Matranga as Reno. Way to pick the wrong Orphen, guys.

Plotwise, yeah whatever. "Oh my God, the Geostigma is being cured by the rain!" Yes, that's because it's dirt! Take a shower, you smelly bastards. Of course, if Yami and Deadwood have taught me anything - and they've taught me so much - it's that severed heads can make or break your affection for a character. In Kadaj's case? It totally makes it. And also Rufus's, because it's just hilarious to carry a dead alien head around in your wheelchair and not tell anybody about it.

So in conclusion, I guess there's really only one thing left to decide: does Sephiroth/Cloud qualify as incest or masturbation?

Well, that was bloody depressing. Spent three hours this morning checking and rechecking the list of stolen DVDs for the insurance people; I know I've left stuff out but I'm sick of thinking about it and since the total cost of replacing everything has reached over eight and a half grand, I decided to stop before I made myself really ill by brooding over it.

In other, more cheerful news, I saw Advent Children last night and oh my God, how cute are Rude and Reno? I could give a shit about everyone else - Cloud, those mini-Sephiroths, Tifa, Cloud's random dead friends that he hallucinates about - because dude, Rude and Reno! So cute! And that one mini-Sephiroth who looks like Dilandau, I like him because he... looks like Dilandau. But mostly Rude and Reno.

Now, off to find AC porn...