froodle | Entries tagged with thor

i am drinking baileys.chocolate luxe, watching adventure time and wearing a.vincent price tshirt. i am almost not hacked off at my job anymore. also, if you have boobs amd you wear a loki tshirt amd your boobs stretch out his face, he looks waym ore handsome. this is of limited use to you if you dont have boobs but you should tell any of ypur chesty.friends that would benefit frm theae.wisdoms. also sunmerhill glen is really cool there are dinos.

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Chris Evans playing Loki doing an impression of Captain America is basically Jensen from the Losers.

Pretty obviously this means Steve and Loki are Jensen's bio-parents.

So, you know, enjoy that mental image.

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Rewatching Sons of Anarchy. Jax Teller: pretty much what would happen if Thor was actually cool.

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There are like eight thousand things that I want to tell you about why Runelight is awesome and you should all be reading it, but I don't have enough typing hands for saying so for now I will just say that I love that Heimdall is basically only in this story to be the straight man of the entire Norse pantheon. Like, his whole character is just him getting sour about how fucking retarded the rest of the Norse gods are. I want these books to be films JUST SO Idris Elba can stand around looking furious while the world ends and all these other superpowered dudes are riding the bus with the flavoured windows.

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So, I was going to tell you all about this amazing website I found that basically retells myths and folklore and fairytales in like, people-words, and how that story I heard about, that I thought had canon mpreg, was about Loki fucking a horse, as a girl-horse, and then having that horse's eight-legged horse babies, basically so Odin didn't have to pay a giant dude for building Asgard, and then what happens is that Odin keeps the horse, and all the gods get a hall in Asgard,except Loki, even though getting boned by a demon horse is the ABSOLUTE EPITOME of taking one for the team, and it was hilarious and about Odin just being massively douchey in an amazing way, but I can't tell you about that right now, because I just watched the Breakfast Club and it was AMAZING and basically, Judd Nelson gets all the blowjobs from now on. Like, all the blowjobs that are not specifically earmarked for Colin Farrell? Those are Judd Nelson's blowjobs right there.

Anyway, I am full of zucchini fries and chocolate mousse and some cocktail, I dunno, it was nice, so I'm going to take a bath and go to bed and maybe tomorrow I will tell you about the website I found and how pimping your friends to demon horses to avoid paying your bills is how I'm going to live my life from now on.

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So apparently Norse mythology has actual canon mpreg. This is literally the most cheer-inducing news I hav heard since somebody told me the fairies in Italy have little cat feets. Thanks, old Viking dudes, for having such a fucked-up religion!

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What's a more appropriate wardrobe choice for visiting your smallest brother in prison - 1974 Stark Expo or sparkley Thor and Loki?

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Tom Hiddleston is playing the Crow?! What the fuck. The casting dudes know the Crow is supposed to be a badass, right? I'm pretty sure his powers never included "whinging like a big gay baby for two whole movies", "being skinny mess" or "having hair that is both terrible and fascinating".

...maybe the last one.

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Loki or Princess Rainicorn? Quick, i need to choose before midnight.

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I totally had a sex dream about Castle and Loki last night. Not me and Castle and Loki, just them. Now I kind of feel like I should write Nathan Fillion an apology letter telling him he could do better.

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My brother just ended an argument about whether Zac Efron could take Loki in a fight with the words, "Bottom line, if I walked into the room, they would both want to suck my cock, so I guess they're equal in having good taste in cock." There is literally NO APPROPRIATE RESPONSE to that statement. I guess ultimately everything boils down to whose cock you want to suck when you walk into a room. I hope this is the plot to Avengers 2.

ETA: I meant that Avengers 2 should be about sucking cock IN GENERAL, not my brothers' cock specifically. I have no desire to see Buzz Lighthair getting serviced by either Zac Efron or Loki. He could do way better than a grown-up Disney starlet and the Meg Griffin of Norse mythology. Just sayin'.

I think the reason I can't get into the Thor movie is because every time someone says "Loki", I think of the Trickster/Gabriel from Supernatural, and then I get annoyed because instead of the Trickster being awesome and wonderful, I have this useless crying prettyboy who wears a stupid hat and mopes around being in love with his brother. I AM JUDGING YOU, THORVERSE LOKI. YOU DO NOT SATISFY MY EXPECTATIONS FOR TRICKSTER GODS/ANGELS-IN-DISGUISE.

I love how Idris Elba is on the cover of the Thor DVD, even though he's in it for like, five seconds. It's as though Thor was a shitty movie and they need to pretend it starred decent actors in order to trick people into buying it on DVD... oh wait...

Two weeks after I returned to the Rock, my multi-region DVD player broke down. My laptop is chipped to play pretty much anything you throw at it, but there are few things more upsetting than sitting in a room with 52 inches of LED heaven staring you in the face and having to watch the first Addams Family movie on a fucking computer.

Anyway, after scouring the island in search of multi-region-capable beauty, and being stared at by various counter jockeys as though I'd shit in their collective handbags when I asked, I finally found a place online that delivered them. They arrived today, and 30 seconds after plugging them in I was enjoying the adventures of Sean, Patrick, Eugene, Phoebe, Fat Kid and the Frankenstein Monster on a screen so big that it's visable from satellite. I believe the technical term for such resounding success is "baddical."

In other news, I just came back from seeing Thor. While I give it two coolness-points for absolutely SHAMELESS incest, having the God of Thunder portrayed by wannabe-Heath-Ledger-circa-a-Knights-Tale seems like bad casting to me, Anthony Hopkins has been on my bad side since Alexander, and pretty much everyone was a useless spacker. Oh, except Idris Elba, who was beautiful and stern like always, but had to hide his lovely face behind a mask in case the rest of the frankly entry-level cast got jealous of his hotness.

In fact, I just reminded myself of how hot Idris Elba is, so I'm going to go watch The Losers now!