...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

The guy doing the Kingdom of the Wicked audiobook has given Billy Ray a proper Elvis voice and idk, I kind of like it. Though in my head he always sounds like Ryan Kwantan playing Jason Stackhouse, which probably shows how much I dont know about American accents in general and Southern ones in particular.

I want the message alert for my phone to be that bald-headed vampire from the first season of TrueBlood saying "somebody needs to get down on my johnson." Then when it goes off in public, I'll act like I have no idea what's happening and laugh at everyone in my secret brain space.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Interview with Jebus Junkies was not entirely unlike being trapped with Steve and Sarah Newlin for twenty minutes, except nobody gave me a handjob in a bathtub (sad) and I didn't get to shoot anyone point-blank in the face with a paintball gun (sadder). Basically the moral of this story is that I am not now, nor will I ever be, as good at life as Jason Stackhouse.

Wow, Grimm is lame. OH LOOK, I HAVE TERMINAL CANCER AND NO HAIR, BUT I DRIVE AROUND IN A DRAFTY TRAILER AND DON'T WEAR A FUCKING HAT IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER. Idiot! You don't have cancer, you're just FUCKING RETARDED. OH LOOK A WACKY WEREWOLF SIDEKICK! Shut up! All you do is give horrible, clunky exposition! Main guy... YOU'RE BORING. Main guy's wife... BORING! Token black cop... BORING! Also BLATENT TOKENISM!

On the plus side, after watching it I am suddenly so much more forgiving of True Blood's witch/fairy/amnesia bullshitapalooza. So maybe Grimm has a purpose, if only to make other shows less rubbish in comparison.

I was going to rage about some RL stuff on here, but I just looked at Tumblr for like an hour and I don't feel like it anymore, so let's all talk about Jason Stackhouse's crime-fighting goatee in the latest season of True Blood, and how magnificent it would be if Jason had his own cop show where he and his goatee and Andy went around solving crimes and sometimes there might be vampire-related stuff but really it is all about Jason and his goatee. Let's do that.

Ugh. Just wasted valuable energy getting all excited about the "new" season of True Blood coming to FX, only to realise that by "new" they mean "shitty fourth season that everyone's already seen and which was rubbish anyway because nobody cares about fairies and witches and stupid Eric with his stupid amnesia and a stupid storyline about Andy getting addicted to V and the whole thing not being solved by the power of Sookie and Jason's beautiful love for each other." Yes, I just ruined True Blood for a bunch of you, OH WELL.

Was going to go for a walk after tea, but it's dark and windy and cold and I don't wanna and I'm going to bed to watch Trick 'r Treat and wish there was an ENTIRE SERIES based around the concept of Anna Paquin in a sexy Red Riding Hood costume eating dudes and doing strip-teases. I think that should be the plot of True Blood season five.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

OH MY GOD, Generation Kill, you guys! Is that not the gayest thing ever? I am no longer even a little bit fazed by the idea of Eric from True Blood and Ziggy from the Wire being epicly gay for each other. I'm reading porn for it right now in another window, and I totally don't care that this is the computer Mama Froodle uses for work. I might just save it on her favourites list so she can enjoy it later.

ALSO! Why is there not a TV series of Daddy Winchester's character from Watchmen just going around shooting and raping and burning people and being awesome and beautiful and unconcerned about it? I feel this would be an excellent thing to have. If they can't get the rights to the Comedian, they should just give Jeffrey Dean Morgan a bullshit name and a gun and lots of leather and send him off to do Comedian-like things on camera and avoid paying royalties. COME ON OH GOD I WOULD WATCH IT EVERY WEEK AND BUY THE DVD WHEN IT CAME OUT! Even if it was an HBO thing where the DVDs are ridiculously expensive, I WOULD PAY FOR IT! PROBABLY ALMOST FULL-PRICE! MAYBE! IF I HAD VOUCHERS FOR HMV OR SOMETHING!

Oh, the ending of Avatar is also quite epicly gay. I would be more enthusiastic but compared to DADDY WINCHESTER SHOOTING A PREGNANT WOMAN FROM PURE GROUCHINESS it loses its splendour. Sorry, Zuko. You are just not grouchy enough for me.

Also, was I the only one who got a mental image of Colin Farrel yelling "Of course it does! The Vietnamese!" every time it showed Daddy Winchester in Vietnam? Colin Farrel knows everything. Stupid Canadians and racist dwarves should pay attention to his wisdom.

Anyway, I'm going to go work on the script for the pilot episode of EDDIE BLAKE: THE SERIES, which will be beautiful and coming soon to a television screen near you, though possibly under a non-copyright-infringing name. Probably you should all start petitioning HBO to pick it up.

Okay, first of all, and yes I realise I am pretty much the last person in the ENTIRE WORLD to come to this conclusion, but the new Star Trek movie is SO LOVELY, OH GOD! I got it last week and this is the third time I've watched it and SO MUCH PRETTY, I actually don't know if I can stand such a high concentration of pretty.

Secondly, is anyone else reading Generation A, and if they are, is anyone else totally picturing Zack as Jason from True Blood? Especially that bit about the video of him driving a combine naked going viral, that sounds classicly Jason Stackhouse to me.

Thirdly, apparently there are books of the 4400. Why didn't I know this before? Why did fucking Dreamwidth have to be the one to tell me? And most importantly, are any of these the novel-length sick-and-twisted dark fic featuring Shawn and Marked!Jordan in an orgy of dubcon smuttiness that I have so longed for since about half-way through season four? Because I can only afford a couple of them right now and stupid Amazon doesn't have a DUDE SHAWN AND JORDAN ARE SO GAY IN THIS ONE tag. Which sucks. Stupid Amazon.

Anyway, some other stuff happened this weekend which was fun but I can't be bothered to talk about it right now because STAR TREK OH GOD and also Kagame is trying to climb on me and she keeps pressing the keyboard and it's annoying so I have to go. Please get back to me about the 4400 books though.

Okay dudes, this is still not as beautiful as Mohinder/Sylar set to the strains of Johnny Depp's homicidal rhyming rantings in Sweeney Todd, but still: it is quite mind-breakingly lovely. Petrellicest and the afore-mentioned Mohinder/Sylar lovin' done to the tune Without Love from Hairspray.

I can't decide what is more horribly wonderful - Sylar as Penny (pigtails! oral fixation! hostess snacks! OMG even Hairspray knows!) or the fact that all of Link's lines are so strangely Nathan-appropriate.

Also as honourable mentions, this is so how Peter and Sylar's fight at the end of season one should have gone and Petrellis + the tune from True Blood = a thing of pure beauty.

Man, there so needs to be a Broadway musical spin-off of Heroes. I would watch that shit.

...oh wait, no I wouldn't. OH MY GOD NATHAN!