...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

If there was an Avengers/Losers crossover, do you think Tony Stark would be able to talk Jensen into a threesome with him and Steve? Because Tony Stark can talk most people into most things, and like most people who are super-geniusy at one thing and have kind of a limited grasp on reality when it comes to all the things that are not that one thing that they are good at, Jensen seems like he would be easily influenced by Tony Starks beard and also his many words.

So essentially, any Losers/Avengers crossover would be a race to see whether Tony can get his end away before Cougar shoots him in the face, because if there is one thing that makes Cougar sourer than dudes touching his hat, it's dudes touching his Jensen. Autocorrect tried changing that to johnson like fifty times, and that's pretty much the only time autocorrect was even close, in context if not definition.

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Iron Man 3 was totally not about Steve and Tony holding hands and skipping through a meadow of beautiful flowers. Sour times.

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On balance, I think I'd rather be Jensen from the Losers than Captain America. Genius-level computer skills are way beter than a job that requires you to wear a costume which makes you look like a fucking douchebag. Also, I really wouldn't have the patience to be Tony Stark's boyfriend. I'd end up losing my rag and ripping his head off after only a few days, and then I'd totally feel bad.

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If God came down and told me I could have night of torrid passion with either Tony Stark or Cougar from the Losers, I would totally not know which one to choose. Also, now I really want to punch Chris Evans in the mouth.

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So I went to see Captain America last night. It was pretty good; nothing about it was particularly MIND BLOWING OH MY GOD AWESOME, but it was a fun action movie. Plus it had Dakin from the History Boys being beautiful and wearing a waistcoat while pretending to be RDJ's dad. He wasn't in it enough, to my mind, but then I would probably have had the whole film being about Dakin and his cheerleaders (oh Tony! So very much your father's son!) and his waistcoats and love of melty cheese.

Afterwards, Alex and I got fish and chips and ate them looking out over the headlands at the sea and I was bitching and moaning about Bleach and he mentioned that his favourite bit in the entire series is when the dude who has a fox for a head finds out that Aizen has seduced his little blind mate over to the Dark Side and he grows all massive and is like, "AAAAIIIIIZZZZEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!" and starts hulk-smashing the shit out of all the buildings around him while rolling his eyes in a crazy way and showing his little sharp fox teeth, because it's totally over-acted in both languages and basically it's a giant fox doing Shatner's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!" thing, but even funnier because, you know, it's a giant fox.

And now I keep thinking how much everything ever would be improved if it had a giant fox dude just going mental and yelling "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZEEEEEENNNN!" and smashing stuff up. I think the giant fox dude should be the baddie in the Avengers movie next year. RDJ and the-ginger-guy-from-Fantastic-Four-who-sometimes-is-also-Jensen-from-the-Losers versus a giant aggro fox dude would rule.

In fact, I'm avoiding working on my Bureau-fic because I'm genuinely worried that I will write a scene where a giant fox dude just starts wrecking the place and yelling "AAAAAIIIIIIZZZZZEEEENNNN!" for no particular reason. And obviously I want to save that scene for the big dramatic finale, not waste it mid-way through the story. That would just be dumb.

OH GOD I love that Peter Pan movie! I mean, I was already aware of this fact since it's shelved on the top lefthand side of my DVD collection, which is where I stack my most-loved stuff for easy acess, but I just watched it again and it's like ALL OF MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET ENOUGH DISTANCE ON THIS FILM SO THAT I CAN WATCH IT AGAIN AND HAVE ALL OF MY LOVE COME FLOODING BACK TO ME!

Jeremy Sumpter is so awesome, you guys. I sometimes totally forget about him because I am too busy admiring the wonderfulness of Jason Isaacs, but he is a fucking amazing actor. That bit right at the end where Hook lets the crocodile eat him, and as he resigns himself to his fate there's a shot of Peter closing his eyes and saluting with his sword, and it is magnificent and wonderful and just so great I have no words!

What happened to Jeremy Sumpter, anyway? I kind of assumed he would go on to be in like eight million things after Peter Pan, but I never saw him again. Has anyone else seen him in something other than Peter Pan? I demand to know why he is not currently improving the quality of the many TV shows I watch by appearing in them and actually portraying emotion and stuff. Shame on you, Jeremy Sumpter, you'd better not be fucking dead or appearing on reality TV or something else hideous and awful!

Also, I saw the trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie, and apart from inexplicable Rocky Horror!Downey Junior, it looked pretty good. I normally want to kill Jude Law, but RDJ has this weird super-power where he makes normally unbearable people slightly tolerable by his presence - see also Gweneth Paltrow in the Iron Man movies.

One more thing that I completely love that has nothing to do with the rest of this post - that bit in Twin Peaks where those Swedish dudes come to stay at the Great Northern and they make loads of noise and wake Cooper up, and he's super pissy and ranting into his little dictaphone thing to Diane about it and after he asks for her to send him earplugs, he's like "I didn't expect to need them on this trip, but as you can hear..." and he holds the recorder up in complete silence for a few seconds to record the noise and then he clicks it off in this really definitive, "so there!" kind of way, and all the way through the scene he has this AWESOMELY grumpy face on him and it's BRILLIANT.

I just wanted to share that with you all. I love Agent Cooper's grumpy face. One day I hope my grumpy face can reach such heights of grumpiness. It is unlikely, but still something to strive for.

My flight out was cancelled due to fog at Leeds Bradford. I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow at 11.45 instead, but who knows if that will happen? I'd better not get any shit from work about not going in tomorrow - no way am I getting off that flight and then putting in ten hours at the House of Gas without a nights sleep inbetween.

ANYWAY! I managed to force William and Jonny to watch The Burbs yesterday - William said it was "alright, a bit 80's though" (he was born in 1991, that's practically like having a learning disability as far as his ability to detect awesomeness is concerned) and Jonny is of the opinion that anything from the 80s should have skateboards and/or BMXs in there somewhere, and therefore The Burbs falls short compared to his preferred flavour of 80's madness.

Also, why isn't there more Ivan/Tony porn fron Iron Man 2? I've had a look around, and while I'm not the ONLY one who developed an embarrassing wrong-crush on Mickey Rourke after watching this movie, there doesn't seem to be many of us. Shame on you, internet. Seriously, SHAME.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.