...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Watched the American remake of the Killing. At first, it was sort of like someone had sucked all the weirdness out of Twin Peaks and replaced it with Billy Campbell. I was saddened by the loss of weirdness, but pleased with the addition of Billy Campbell, so it was a fair trade. Tragically, only a few episodes in, it mutated into a regular crime TV series thing and lost all of it's beautiful Twin Peaksian atmosphere. I am very sad.

Also, the Fades sucks. Everyone in it is ugly, the dialogue is terrible, there's no comedic timing, the plot is boring and basically it's terrible. I hate everything.

I'm going to watch the Losers now, because I need some beautifulness in my life. After that, I may have a shower. I sent Prawn into town to get me some berries. I hope he comes back soon. I need berries.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

Dudes. How much do I want a saucy art-chick spirit guide who gives me directions straight to a wet, naked Jordan Collier? So wasted on fugly Kyle.

I'm watching The Truth And Nothing But The Truth, and mostly it's boring and just April whining on about how she's an emotionally-stunted cuntbag with a massive inferiority complex who blames all her problems on Diana rather than dealing with the fact that she's a goddamned fuckwit and she brings all her troubles on herself, OH GOD APRIL STFU, but there are a couple of moments that made me smile - the way Tom's face freezes when April uses her ability to get him to admit to having a sexual fantasty about Diana, and the following quote:

Shawn, about Jordan: He used my healing abilities to raise money for this place. He used me for a lot of things!

Oh sweetie. We know. And we love you SO MUCH because of it.

SAD CRIES! I have just watched the last part of season two, and oh! Shawn and Maia in quarantine, when she says that she believes Diana when she says everything will be okay, and then she asks if there's someone Shawn can believe in like that and he says that there used to be and then he cries a little bit, OH GOD! And the Single Manly Tear when Kyle confesses to killing Jordan, OH! Patrick Flueger, you make me so sad!

Anyway, now it's time for season three and the advent of Jebus!Jordan. I am so not going to make this party tonight, but nobody there will be as beautiful as Joel Gretsch or Billy Campbell, so whatever.

Also, someone please talk to me about the new series of V: is it any good, and more importantly, is Tom beautiful and earnest and does he cry in a totally manly way?

Happy birthday, Jebus! I hope you are looking down on us and thinking that getting crucified so that we could open presents and eat too much food and fight with our relatives was totally worth it... but if you didn't, I wouldn't fault you.

Anyway, just finished the last of my shiny new 4400 books. Promises Broken was lovely (Yay Shawn! Yay Jordan! Yay Tom and Diana!) Welcome to Promise City was a boring badly-characterised suckfest that reads as though it was written by a thirteen year old who has yet to grasp the notion that you don't need to physically describe each character every time they make an appearance - I mean, I know what Joel Gretsch looks like, thanks - and the other two were about what I'd expect for published fanfiction, ie, okay, but needs either more porn or tighter writing. Preferably both, but I don't expect miracles.

Do you guys know why the 4400 is better than pretty much every sci-fi/fantasy/horror show ever? It's not because it has Billy Campbell bringing heaven to earth (if the suckfest that was Shark proved anything, it is that not even Billy Campbell can rescue a show that is otherwise dire) or because there's a character whose ability is the power to make shockingly poor B-movie conspiracy thrillers, or even because Joel Gresch is a marvellous actor who really hasn't been given the praise he deserves in previous posts because I'm shallow and would rather talk about how beautiful and earnest his character is. No, the 4400 is better than it's peers because it has never, ever had an episode about bugs.

I hate bugs. I would rather face hoardes of ravening zombies in a nuclear wasteland than see some bugs. And that sucks because, from Buffy to the X-Files via Smallville and Stargate and Supernatural, in every sci-fi-ish show in the whole history of recorded time, there's always an episode about bugs somewhere. Even Heroes did it with that whole Mohinderspider thing - and really, way to take a character whose only positive attribute is his pretty face - not to mention, one of only a few really attractive actors left by that point - and totally wreck it for everyone. Stupid Mohinder. Stupid show.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I just finished watching Fear Itself, and I was so relieved that I didn't have to deal with anyone's arachnophobia coming to glaring CGI life on my TV screen that I forgot about the bit at the start where the dude gets attacked by clowns. And now I'm having a total "can't sleep, clown will eat me" moment and I'm trying to distract myself and it's totally not working.

Damn it. I am going to make a hot chocolate and then sit up working on my Marked!Jordan/Shawn smutfic and try not to think about clowns with mouths full of yellowed, needle-sharp teeth and long, jagged fingernails tearing at my flesh OH GOD!

Shark sucks. Like, to infinity and beyond. I was all ready to write it off as a lame ripoff of lame House only with lame lawyers, and then BILLY CAMPBELL showed up and I was like OMGJORDANILOVEYOU only then he turned out to be this incredibly horrifying serial killer (and seriously dudes, a serial killer has to be pretty horrifying before I'm horrified) and he didn't be at all awesome, he was just frightening and not in a good or awesome way AT ALL and it sucked.

Oh, and did I mention, it's pretty much House but with lawyers? Like Shark is House, and Blonde Boss is Cuddy, and Tiny Latino Dude is Cameron, and Whitey McWhiteBoy is Chase, and Bitchy Blonde is Bitchy Blonde (from the later seasons, I don't know her name because I lost interest during that storyline with the mean police dude that went on for like a thousand episodes) and Sasspirella is what would happen if you combined Foreman and Cameron into one person and Investigator Tall is Foreman and it's fucking lame, dudes. Also, Shark's real name isn't Shark, it's Stark, and every time someone uses it I keep hoping that he'll don a blinged-out flying suit and zoom away to fight some terrorists or whatever, but he doesn't because Shark is made from fail.

Seriously, dudes. What a waste of perfectly good Jordanbeard.

Anyway, now I am watching Queen of Swords and it's epic - Methos is this wee snarky doctor who steals apples and is snarky, and Kronos is this mean Colonel dude who steals all the peasants gold and is really snide about everything in a really English villain type way, only he has this random Spanish accent that comes and goes at random. There's a lame girl Zorro who is lame but whatever, this is really about Kronos stealin' gold and meening on people and Methos being snarky. Go watch!