...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Oh you guys. I just saw a movie that had Shawn Farrell from the 4400 in it, except instead of being beautiful and earnest, he was torturing dudes and generally being horrible in a non-entertaining way. OH SHAWN! What would your beloved Uncle Tommy say?!

Also, I have been reading the Locke and Key comics - I heard about them initially because beautiful Nick Stahl was supposed to be in a TV series based on it, being beautiful and probably doing some other stuff that I may or may not have cared about, but Fox didn't pick it up so now we'll never know. That aside, the comics themselves are really good - without giving anything away, a family moves into a big old house with loads of locked rooms and cupboards, and if the right person opens the right door with the right key, magical shit happens. If I say much more I will totally ruin it for you, but it's awesome and you guys should watch it.

On the subject of Nick Stahl, none of you are talking about Carnivale enough. This makes me cross. White Collar dudes, you should also be watching it because it has Tim DeKay in it aswell. Don't make Liamneeson send you to hell with all the Twin Peaks-ignoring rejects.

One last thing - I mentioned a while ago that I'd been reading a book about a zombie PI who went around fighting crime, which was cool, and having a non-zombie girlfriend, which was not cool, even if saying so makes me a racist. I just finished the third book, and the girlfriend is pregnant, which is so horrible I don't even want to discuss it, but I keep reading because it's full of these little scraps of meta-humour that make me smile. Case in point:

'Before we could start toward them, the front door opened and a teenage boy with mussed hair and a pouty expression walked in. He had the elongated canines of the Bloodborn, but his skin gave off a glimmering sheen.

A couple of bald, overly muscled, heavily tattooed vampires clad in scuffed leather snarled at the sight of the luminous teen. They rose from their chairs, stalked toward him, flanked him on either side, grabbed hold of his arms, lifted him off the floor, and started escorting him back toward the door.

"Hey, take it easy, guys!" the teen whined. "It's not my fault I sparkle!"

The biker vampires laughed as they left the bar, and the iron door slammed ominously shut behind them.'

Well played, Tim Waggoner. Very well played, and vastly superiour to that piece-of-shit Supernatural parody that offended my precious eyes last week. If they ever made a Nekropolis TV show, I would watch it.

As long as there was no overt zombie/regular person smooching. I have my limits.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

Dudes. How much do I want a saucy art-chick spirit guide who gives me directions straight to a wet, naked Jordan Collier? So wasted on fugly Kyle.

I'm watching The Truth And Nothing But The Truth, and mostly it's boring and just April whining on about how she's an emotionally-stunted cuntbag with a massive inferiority complex who blames all her problems on Diana rather than dealing with the fact that she's a goddamned fuckwit and she brings all her troubles on herself, OH GOD APRIL STFU, but there are a couple of moments that made me smile - the way Tom's face freezes when April uses her ability to get him to admit to having a sexual fantasty about Diana, and the following quote:

Shawn, about Jordan: He used my healing abilities to raise money for this place. He used me for a lot of things!

Oh sweetie. We know. And we love you SO MUCH because of it.

SAD CRIES! I have just watched the last part of season two, and oh! Shawn and Maia in quarantine, when she says that she believes Diana when she says everything will be okay, and then she asks if there's someone Shawn can believe in like that and he says that there used to be and then he cries a little bit, OH GOD! And the Single Manly Tear when Kyle confesses to killing Jordan, OH! Patrick Flueger, you make me so sad!

Anyway, now it's time for season three and the advent of Jebus!Jordan. I am so not going to make this party tonight, but nobody there will be as beautiful as Joel Gretsch or Billy Campbell, so whatever.

Also, someone please talk to me about the new series of V: is it any good, and more importantly, is Tom beautiful and earnest and does he cry in a totally manly way?

Okay, I have tea and a Wispa gold (surely the finest foodstuff ever created by human hands) and I'm watching the Fifth Page and I feel a little bit better. Oh Shawn, you break my heart! That scene where he's not able to heal the blind woman and he's talking to Lily about it and he's trying to put a brave face on it and shrug it off as just being the 'flu, and then just as she gets up to leave he begs her not to tell anyone that he can't heal, and he sounds so sad and alone and lost without his ability, it makes me want to cry! Well played, Patrick Flueger.

On behalf of 'phone-monkeys everywhere, I would like to offer all those customers who called up whining about us being closed over Christmas a delicious steaming mug of SHUT THE FUCK UP, served with a complimentary slice of DIE IN A FIRE! Maybe if you spent less time on the 'phone acting like a twat and more time interacting with people like a civilized human being, you would have actual friends and family to spend the holidays with.

I'm watching Lockdown now. YOUR SUFFERING MEANS NOTHING TO ME TOM BALDWIN! Testosterone-crazed Marines are as insects compared to the fucktardery of the general public. GOD!!

So, I'm watching Life, Interupted, and I love how even Alana's power can't create a world in which Shawn would have a girlfriend. I bet she's there trying to conjour one up out of Tom's memories and is all, "Why do you keep thinking about Jebus?" and Tom is like "QUIET YOU NO JUDGING!" and poor Alana is like "WTF-EVER, GOD!"

Happy birthday, Jebus! I hope you are looking down on us and thinking that getting crucified so that we could open presents and eat too much food and fight with our relatives was totally worth it... but if you didn't, I wouldn't fault you.

Anyway, just finished the last of my shiny new 4400 books. Promises Broken was lovely (Yay Shawn! Yay Jordan! Yay Tom and Diana!) Welcome to Promise City was a boring badly-characterised suckfest that reads as though it was written by a thirteen year old who has yet to grasp the notion that you don't need to physically describe each character every time they make an appearance - I mean, I know what Joel Gretsch looks like, thanks - and the other two were about what I'd expect for published fanfiction, ie, okay, but needs either more porn or tighter writing. Preferably both, but I don't expect miracles.

Okay, first of all, and yes I realise I am pretty much the last person in the ENTIRE WORLD to come to this conclusion, but the new Star Trek movie is SO LOVELY, OH GOD! I got it last week and this is the third time I've watched it and SO MUCH PRETTY, I actually don't know if I can stand such a high concentration of pretty.

Secondly, is anyone else reading Generation A, and if they are, is anyone else totally picturing Zack as Jason from True Blood? Especially that bit about the video of him driving a combine naked going viral, that sounds classicly Jason Stackhouse to me.

Thirdly, apparently there are books of the 4400. Why didn't I know this before? Why did fucking Dreamwidth have to be the one to tell me? And most importantly, are any of these the novel-length sick-and-twisted dark fic featuring Shawn and Marked!Jordan in an orgy of dubcon smuttiness that I have so longed for since about half-way through season four? Because I can only afford a couple of them right now and stupid Amazon doesn't have a DUDE SHAWN AND JORDAN ARE SO GAY IN THIS ONE tag. Which sucks. Stupid Amazon.

Anyway, some other stuff happened this weekend which was fun but I can't be bothered to talk about it right now because STAR TREK OH GOD and also Kagame is trying to climb on me and she keeps pressing the keyboard and it's annoying so I have to go. Please get back to me about the 4400 books though.