...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

So I finally got around to watching the director's cut of Watchmen. OH! Oh Rorschach! Oh Super-Raoul! Oh everyone! It was totally worth paying the ridiculously inflated price for the blu-ray simply for that bit where Dan beats the shit out of that dude in the pub and Rorschach - Rorschach! - has to tell him to calm the fuck down, and he's like, "Daniel! Not in front of the civilians!" OH MY GOD. I am in love with this movie all over again, but in a slightly less Daddy Winchester-focused direction.

Sadly, they did not include that hilarious bit in the comic where Rorschach tries to make Dan feel better about dead!Hollis Mason* by suggesting they just carry on with their investigation because then they can catch the person who started all the hysteria that led to Hollis' death, and Dan's like, "Who in their right mind would be comforted by... oh... I mean, thanks."

Also, I love Bill and Ted. I love Constantine too. This is kind of spilling over into reviving the crush my ten-year-old self had on Keanu Reeves, which is painful because it makes me want to watch other stuff that Keanu Reeves has done, and then I am reminded that he sucks and I feel inexplicably betrayed, like somehow he led me on by being in these three movies that I love.

My relationship with Keanu Reeves is very complicated.

*Dudes, I am totally not cutting that for spoilers, so don't even bother to ask me. It's a twenty-year-old comic, stop crying.

I just got an email from Amazon advertising something called "Space Raoul", and for a second I actually thought it was the dude from Phantom of the Opera that wasn't the Phantom of the Opera havingt adventures in space, but it turns out it's just a comic by the dude who did Bear, and now I feel a bit sad but also like there is a whole untapped market for Raoul-from-Phantom-of-the-Opera to have some kind of space-based adventure.

Also, my brothers cat is sitting next to me and washing himself REALLY LOUDLY. I know he's just doing it to get my attention. KNOCK IT OFF TAZ!

In honour of today being Rollo Weeks' birthday, I decided to celebrate with cake and the Thief Lord movie. And the first twenty minutes of Attila, after which I couldn't take any more of Powers Boothe chowing down on that lovely scenery and went to watch Phantom of the Opera instead. What? It's mask-themed!

Oh, and how much is that "Upper Skies" song the Scipio/Prosper love theme? I don't know who they think they're fooling, trying to make us buy into the Prosper/Hornet thing; methinks Riccio's gaydar is as bad as his teeth.

Every time I hear someone speak with a Scottish accent, I get the urge to watch Phantom of the Opera. Which is weird, because although Gerard Butler is Scottish, he doesn't actually have a Scottish accent in that film (except, hilariously, in a couple of the more "emotional" scenes), and I do in fact own several films where he does have his normal accent. But no, as far as my subconscious is concerned, Scotish accent = Phantom of the Opera.

I guess the moral of this story is that I associate the Scots with flamboyant, tone-deaf psychopaths.

A meme stolen from the most fantastically awesome Senkobunny:

1. Comment here and I'll pick one of your LJ interests and draw a picture using the mighty MS Paint.
2. You have no say in what I draw for you, or in how bad it will be!
3. Put this in your journal along with the pictures people drew for you.

( Awesomeness under the cut... )

Every time I watch Phantom of the Opera, I wonder why I didn't decide to watch it earlier. It's like, one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I own. That scene after Christine performed "Think of Me" and Raoul goes to see her in her dressing room afterwards, and the Managers are all, "Shall we introduce you, winkwinknudgenudge?" and he gives them the brush-off and then nicks their flowers? Genius! I mean, this guy is clearly pretty rich, but he just can't be arsed to buy his own bouquet, and that makes me love him. It's just so fucking jammy the way he does it, and that little "Thank you" before he shuts the door in their faces. Awesome!

And Erik? Has no follow-through. I'm convinced that's a big part of his problem right there. I mean, he's got Christine down in the Lair, there's candlelight, heaving busoms (hers), swan bed (his), he's singing "Music of the Night" - and I don't care what you say about Gerard Butler's voice, there wasn't a dry seat in the house when I saw it at the cinema - and she's totally ready to go, all he has to do is move in... and he just keeps on singing! No wonder she got bored and fell asleep. I'm not saying that seduction and foreplay aren't important, but too much is just as bad as too little - next time you get a nubile young soprano down in your subterrenean love nest, try to nail her before she goes off with the flower-nabbing, ugly brown leather jacket-wearing rich boy from the apartment upstairs. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, and Meg? Totally in love with Christine. Again, watch Christine performing "Think of Me" and there's this shot of Meg standing in the wings looking all sad and rejected and Madame Giry comes up and squeezes her shoulder, all, "My poor, poor, unrequited-in-love daughter". Poor Meg.

Now I'm in the mood for more campy gothic anti-heroes, so it's off to watch Van Helsing I go.

Have just finished watching Angels in America, and my word, it was strange. Doesn't really help that my brain persists in thinking of Patrick Wilson as Raoul, and giggling quietly to itself at the image of Raoul as a slightly dopey but very adorable Republican Mormon. 'Cause seriously, did anyone else just want to pinch his cheeks and give him cookies? "Buddy kiss", aww! You go, tiny gay Republican!

Oh, and also? "I live with my parents" is going to give me hysterics for a very, very long time to come.

Those of you who are familiar with Escaflowne: Zaibach Strikes Back Stargate: Atlantis should all go here and download the most awesome music video known to man. Boy, those Wraith sure do love Pointy. For my part, although Bob definatly has the rugged bad-boy vibe down, with his dreads and manly strut and facial tattoos, Steve is the one I'd bring home to meet my parents. You know, if I didn't think he'd eat them.

The new Battlestar Galactica makes me sad. Mostly, I suspect, because I want Apollo to be some kind of Ickle Midshipman Archie In Space, and instead he's just some whiny whiner guy who happens to look like Ickle Midshipman Archie but with muscles and non-cute hair. And no Welsh Bloke to slash it up with.

In other news, went to see Dukes of Hazzard last week. It was very enjoyable (though Stifler!Bo is not a patch on real!Bo, and Sean Williams-Scott annoys me by having eyebrows that don't match his hair), but they showed the Serenity trailer right before it and so was overshadowed by OMFG SERENITY TRAILER SQUEE! Space! Pirate-cowboys! Indecently tight pants! Jayne! Waistcoats! Jayne! Vera! Jayne! Ninjas! Jayne! And did I mention... Jayne! I do love me some Jayne.

Also, the 40 Year Old Virgin looks to be the lamest film since... some other lame film that I made fun of but have forgotten about. Seriously, if I wanted to see a film about a middle aged guy who can't get any tail, I'd go and watch Phantom of the Opera again.

I take this opportunity to inform you of a matter of gravest importance to you and your loved ones:

That Star Wars Lego game for the Playstation 2? Rocks. I don't think I will ever get tired of making Darth Vader and Whinykin fight each other, or hearing that weird little orgasmic noise Padawan!Obi makes when you hit him with a lightsabre. And the moustaches? They make my life complete. From now on, whenever I watch Star Wars, I shall imagine the characters carrying mops and wearing big fake Groucho Marx lip-ferrets.

In slightly related news, every time I hear the words "I am your father", or variations on that theme, I imagine them being said in the Vadervoice. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but I swear, there are so many characters with daddy issues in Smallville, Christine Daae could visit her father's grave in nothing but lace-top stockings and a bustier and feel completely normal. Except she does that already, so... never mind. And it's not that I don't get a good laugh out of imagining Lex going "Nooooooooooooooo!" and having his hand cut off and falling into a bottomless drive-shaft (and it's doubly funny when it's Lana) and then being rescued by Lando Calrissian and having adventures and... what was I saying? Oh, never mind.

And HAH! Clark's dad is a spaceship. It is entirely possible that that will never stop being funny.

Spent the past few days packing. How in the name of all that is good have I got fifteen boxes of books? I think they're breeding behind my back.

Today was a fun day. Jess came over and we made cupcakes and flapjacks, and when Alan's lectures finished we went for a picnic and took Thlayli with us. Much enjoyment watching him running around enjoying the wonderful outdoors. I had him on a harness with the leash around my wrist, but he kept running around me and getting me tangled up in it, so in the end I tied it to the laces of one of my Doc Martens. Which Thlayli then managed to drag about two hundred yards up a hill, with Jess and I chasing him. We did get one group of girls who came up and asked me if he was a dog. I was like, "Yes, he's a dog. A really tiny, long eared, twitchy-nosed dog with huge hind paws and an odd lolloping run. In fact, he's a Rabbidoodle. One of those new designer breeds that's very popular in Europe just now." Idiots. Then we had cheesecake and sausage rolls and shandy lemonades, except for Thalyli who had carrots and water, and he jumped up on my lap and went to sleep. It was very cute.

Spent the rest of the afternoon and evening curled up reading "The Thief Lord", which I think may have beaten out Inkheart as my favourite Cornelia Funke book. I've never been to Venice, but just reading some of those scenes I could almost hear the cry of the gondoliers, smell the canals, feel the chill of snowflakes falling outside. It's a truly amazing book, which I recomend to anyone in the whole world ever.

And conversely, on the subject of things that should never, under any circumstances be recomended to anyone, ( The Sequel of DOOM is now up )

Oh yes. Special level of Hell, here I come.