...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Chris Evans playing Loki doing an impression of Captain America is basically Jensen from the Losers.

Pretty obviously this means Steve and Loki are Jensen's bio-parents.

So, you know, enjoy that mental image.

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So as it turns out, the Isle of Man does not appear on any of SHIELDs maps. Supervillains! Come to us! Plenty of arable land so your secret base can be self-sustaning, and due to a combination of our proximity to Chernobyl and a huge problem with inbreeding, you won't need fancy genetic modifications to create an army of sub-human monsters - simply hire the locals. Cheap and efficient! Though of course webbed hands do make it harder to operate a death ray effectively...

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I'm not saying that Joseph Gordon Levitt could beat up the Avengers, but I think he could stand watching them disapprovingly while his waistcoat gave Steve a nostalgia-boner, and eventually the rest of them would get really uncomfortable from the weight of his judgey glare and then they would all have to sit down and fucking behave.

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Why hasn't anyone written Loser fanfics that cross over with the Avengers? Or Watchmen,for that matter. Or both. Both would be good.

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Iron Man 3 was totally not about Steve and Tony holding hands and skipping through a meadow of beautiful flowers. Sour times.

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Tom Hiddleston is playing the Crow?! What the fuck. The casting dudes know the Crow is supposed to be a badass, right? I'm pretty sure his powers never included "whinging like a big gay baby for two whole movies", "being skinny mess" or "having hair that is both terrible and fascinating".

...maybe the last one.

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I am watching SWAT, which is basically the saddest and most tragic love story of how Colin Farrell and Hawkeye were in beautiful love and then it all became horrible and sad.

So what happens is, Hawkeye and Colin Farrell are police dudes in LA and they are totally awesome and everyone loves them, but then this mean dude who is totally jealous sentanced them to ten thousand years in a dungeon cleaning boots, and Hawkeye was like, fuck this, let's ride into space on our unicorns and be all evil and wear a variety of criminal hats and generally fuck shit up! And Colin Farrell's like, no, it's not space's fault that this mean dude is making us do ten thousand years dungeon, let's stay and protect LA!

Then Hawkeye gets all.mad and is like, you have betrayed our love, Colin Farrell, and I hate you forever! and he throws Colin Farrell across the locker room and flies away into space alone, and Colin Farrell has to do dungeon by himself and he's all broken-hearted and crying inside and lives on the beach with his unicorn, who has turned into a dog because Colin Farrell's broken heart has sucked all the magic away.

Anyway, then Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson comes along and he's like, I know your heart is all broken and shit, but LA still needs protecting and you have to inspire these other police dudes because reasons, so Colin Farrell kind of has a reason to live again, but then Hawkeye is like OH NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT!! and he invades LA with dinosaurs and French dudes and rocket launchers, and he and Colin Farrell totally get into it and then Hawkeye gets run over by a train and so they never find happiness and that's the end of the movie.

And then Colin Farrell goes to Vietnam where he saves Alaric from doom and Alaric basically makes a whole movie about how in love with Colin Farrell he is, and Hawkeye is in a film about bombs that wins loads of awards even though it is totally boring amd nothing even happens.

Oh, and the dog eventually changed back into a unicorn and together he and Colin Farrell crossed Asia, bringing civilisation and Jared Leto to the world.

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Loki or Princess Rainicorn? Quick, i need to choose before midnight.

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I totally had a sex dream about Castle and Loki last night. Not me and Castle and Loki, just them. Now I kind of feel like I should write Nathan Fillion an apology letter telling him he could do better.

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If the Avengers were kitties, and the Watchmen were ponies, and they got into it, I think the Watchmen would rape the fuck out of the Avengers. The Losers would sit back and watch while playing cards and drinking tequila, because they don't care either way.

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