...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Oh dudes, I just saw the trailer for the Fright Night remake, and it's all "brooding" and "fraught" and "menacing" and there are explosions and car chases and I thought it would be cheesy 80's goodness but now I kind of feel like Colin Farrell just cheated on me with the entire Twilight fandom.

I have to go cry now.

My flight out was cancelled due to fog at Leeds Bradford. I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow at 11.45 instead, but who knows if that will happen? I'd better not get any shit from work about not going in tomorrow - no way am I getting off that flight and then putting in ten hours at the House of Gas without a nights sleep inbetween.

ANYWAY! I managed to force William and Jonny to watch The Burbs yesterday - William said it was "alright, a bit 80's though" (he was born in 1991, that's practically like having a learning disability as far as his ability to detect awesomeness is concerned) and Jonny is of the opinion that anything from the 80s should have skateboards and/or BMXs in there somewhere, and therefore The Burbs falls short compared to his preferred flavour of 80's madness.

Also, why isn't there more Ivan/Tony porn fron Iron Man 2? I've had a look around, and while I'm not the ONLY one who developed an embarrassing wrong-crush on Mickey Rourke after watching this movie, there doesn't seem to be many of us. Shame on you, internet. Seriously, SHAME.

Oh my God, you guys! I have officially THE GREATEST SIBLINGS EVER! Not only do I now have three - count them, three! - Monster Squad mugs, I also have a Frog Brothers one! I squealed, I cried, I licked Corey Feldman's face. Then I choked due to this little nugget:

Jonathan: Sorry it's just the little baby Frogs instead of the grown-up ones from the new movie.
Froodle: No, it's awesome-
William: We were going to get them as old people for you, but the guy with the headband's sword was too big.
Froodle: Seriously, you guys, this is awes- wait, what?
Jonathan: Yeah, in all the pictures from the new one, he's got his sword out and it takes up like two thirds of the shot - we couldn't get it to fit on the mug.
Froodle: *giggles*
Buzz: That sword is fucking stupid, it's like twice as big as he is, whenever they're in a scene together the other dude has to stand behind him so he doesn't get poked.
Froodle: *splutters*
Jonathan: Yeah, he's like, "Oh sorry Corey Feldman, I guess I just won't be in half of the movie because your RIDICULOUSLY HUGE WEAPON is blocking me from the camera! Have fun fighting the vampires on your own, God!"
Froodle: *iz ded*

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

Okay, I am home for Christmas, so I have beautiful unlimited access, at last for the next six days.

The following things are super-important:

• Frogcest. There should be more of it. If you are doing something other than writing Alan/Edgar porn right now, you are making me sad. Seriously dudes, you're like full-on ruining my holiday spirit.
  
• Leverage. Lindsey McDonald doing a bizarre impersonation of Daddy Winchester should be massively cringe-inducing, but somehow it is endearing in a sick-and-wrong kind of way.
  
• White Collar. If anything, this show is actually GAYER than the internet made it out to be. I love White Collar forever and ever.
  
• Santuary. This is mostly average, except for Tessla, who is FABULOUS. He is like, 2.83 times more awesome than Damon fromt he Vampire Diaries, which is quite awesome.
  
• Monster Squad. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE?! I am so in love with this film it is crazed. Also, Andre Gower is exactly what would happen if Keifer Sutherland and River Phoenix had a baby. Trufax.

Anyway, my brother is yelling for me to come down to dinner, so I am going now. WRITE MOAR FROGCEST! I will be back... whenever.

Dudes, I just finished watching Lost Boys: the Thirst. And it was AWESOME! I mean, okay, there were some quite lame bits (the main vampire baddie, oh my God, such bad acting! Like, so bad he would have gotten kicked off the Lair) but OMG EDGAR! Andandand OMG ALAN! And OMG SAD MUSIC FLASHBACK HAIM! And they hugged and it was AWESOME and then Corey Feldman was like, "That's enough of that" and Alan was like, "Yeah" and they were all AWKWARD with the BOY TOUCHING, omg YOU GUYS! I CANNOT EVEN CONTROL MY CAPSLOCKIN' HAND! THAT'S HOW GOOD IT WAS! I AM HAVIN' A SEIZURE! NO SERIOUSLY DUDES CALL A FUCKING DOCTOR!

I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.

Watching the Lost Boys is really not the best way to convince myself that no, I do not need to spend £70 on that huge Lost Boys print they have for sale in the Corn Exchange, especially when said print omits the prettiness of Corey Feldman.

In other news, I have decided to buy a house boat. I shall live on it with my pet crocodile called Elvis and I shall wear white jackets and never shave. Then I remembered that I am not, in fact, Sonny Crockett and I went and had a good cry in the bathroom.

I like cats, I really do, but if those two outside don't stop yowling like a couple of welfare mothers in the dole line, Froodle is gonna have to choke a bitch. Shut up, cats! I have to go to work in the morning! And not kill people, which is the tricky part, since both customers and coworkers are being extra-annoying lately.

In other news, Cally is still the Imperious Leader, Lee still does my head in, and Mr T could totally take that guy from the Green Mile in a fight. Assuming, of course, that the guy from the Green Mile was inclined less towards healing Tom Hanks (boo!) and more towards picking fights with 80's icons (yay!).

I fucking hate 9am lectures. I never take anything in, because my brain is too tired to function, and then it fucks up the rest of my day because I end up falling asleep around five in the afternoon and grr, it's all very bad.

In other, totally irrelevent news, OHMYFUCKINGGODBUCKYO'HAREONDVDSQUEE! Johnny and I used to watch this all the time when we were kids; he even had the Toad Croaker and Bucky action figures. Sparked off a long conversation about 80's TV in general, and the Raggydolls in particular.

You guys remember the Raggy Dolls, right? "Raggydolls, Raggydolls, made imperfectly; Raggydolls, Raggydolls, dolls like you and me!" etc. They were faulty toys that weren't fit to be sold and they all lived in the Reject Bin and at night they came to life and had adventures.

Except Claude. Seriously, what was the deal with Claude? See, I reckon he came off the assembly line, and Mr Grimes looked at him and was like, "You're French! Get in the fucking Reject Bin!" and Claude was all, "Non!" and Mr Grimes was like, "Get in there, Frenchie!" and Claude was all, *le sorrow du francais*, whereas Johnny insists it's because Claude was gay and he was trying to get all the workmen dolls (you know, the ones like Back-to-Front but... not backwards) to form a Raggydoll Village People and Mr Grimes was all, "You'll not be stealing the dresses of any more Princess dolls, young fella me lad!". Which is actually what happened to Princess's dress and tiara. So, we end up with something like:

J: But he wore a scarf! A scarf... of Gayness!
F: That's because he's French! All French people wear scarves. It's to protect their onion necklaces from the heat of the sun.
J: No, it's to cover the lovebite Hifi gave him the night before!
F: Raggydolls don't have proper mouths, they can't suck... Oh, God.
J: *pisses self*
F: And what about Lucy, ewww...
J: OMG orifices!
F: It wouldn't be like skullfucking, it'd be like...
J: Neckfucking!
*incoherent laughter*

It went on like this for quite a while, but the general conclusions we got out of it were:

1) Sadsack is the bastard lovechild of Eeyore and a horny Gingerbreadman, and it is impossible to say "gingerbread penis" without laughing
2) Hifi is the forerunner of Carlimir from Van Helsing
3) Back-to-Front is a womanizer
4) Dotty is a dominatrix, and Princess is her wench
5) Claude is gay and French and wants to get into Hifi's pants
6) It is perfectly acceptable to put someone in the reject bin because they're French, and in fact, we should do it more often
7) Lucy is the whore of the Raggydollverse
8) You could get away with a lot in kid's TV in the 80's