...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

So I went to see Captain America last night. It was pretty good; nothing about it was particularly MIND BLOWING OH MY GOD AWESOME, but it was a fun action movie. Plus it had Dakin from the History Boys being beautiful and wearing a waistcoat while pretending to be RDJ's dad. He wasn't in it enough, to my mind, but then I would probably have had the whole film being about Dakin and his cheerleaders (oh Tony! So very much your father's son!) and his waistcoats and love of melty cheese.

Afterwards, Alex and I got fish and chips and ate them looking out over the headlands at the sea and I was bitching and moaning about Bleach and he mentioned that his favourite bit in the entire series is when the dude who has a fox for a head finds out that Aizen has seduced his little blind mate over to the Dark Side and he grows all massive and is like, "AAAAIIIIIZZZZEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!" and starts hulk-smashing the shit out of all the buildings around him while rolling his eyes in a crazy way and showing his little sharp fox teeth, because it's totally over-acted in both languages and basically it's a giant fox doing Shatner's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!" thing, but even funnier because, you know, it's a giant fox.

And now I keep thinking how much everything ever would be improved if it had a giant fox dude just going mental and yelling "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZEEEEEENNNN!" and smashing stuff up. I think the giant fox dude should be the baddie in the Avengers movie next year. RDJ and the-ginger-guy-from-Fantastic-Four-who-sometimes-is-also-Jensen-from-the-Losers versus a giant aggro fox dude would rule.

In fact, I'm avoiding working on my Bureau-fic because I'm genuinely worried that I will write a scene where a giant fox dude just starts wrecking the place and yelling "AAAAAIIIIIIZZZZZEEEENNNN!" for no particular reason. And obviously I want to save that scene for the big dramatic finale, not waste it mid-way through the story. That would just be dumb.

So, you know that episode of the Simpsons where Homer is watching Twin Peaks at the start and every now and then he laughs and is like, "I have absolutely no idea what's going on"? That's my life today.

First of all I got called in to do an early morning four-hour shift at work. Of course, I need the money to buy Alexander (oh sweet, sweet Colin Farrell, you shall be mine in all your mini-skirt-wearing, eyeliner'd, Jared Leto-snogging glory), so a little overtime is more than welcome, but it did mean my internal clock was wonky for the rest of the day.

So I came home, and the landlord has been 'round to put damp seal on the bathroom walls and ceilings. Awesome, because damp walls are gross, but my bathroom is an ensuite and that meant my afternoon nap was more a case of me getting high off delicious fumes and having weird dreams about robot dogs and that one guy from Battlestar Galactica.

So I went for a walk to clear my head, and there's some kind of parade going on in town with floats and people in costumes and by this point I'm thinking that somebody's poisoned my water supply and that I'm locked up in an asylum because it can't possibly be that the whole world has gone fucking batshit insane, and I figure I might as well go and see the Fantastic Four movie and that just proves that I'm crazy because there's no way in Hell I would go and see that when I'm in my right mind.

Only FF is so goddamn crap that I can't possibly be hallucinating, since my hallucinations are always better scripted and acted and basically a lot less tedious, so I figure maybe I'm just having a bad day and I should cut my losses, remember that at least I did get to see Juliam McMahon on the big screen, even if yet again shit was going down with his pretty face and what is up with that, I ask you, and so I go home.

And there is some little French boy sitting on my doorstep reading a comic book.

I have absolutely no idea what's going on.