...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Man, what the hell is going on with parsnips in this city? There is like a Leeds-wide shortage of parsnips. All Morrisons had were two lonesome prepacked bags of the most tiddly and pointless parsnips ever to be dragged from Gods green earth, and at my local greengrocer? Three. THREE! How am I supposed to make roast parsnips if the Parsnip Gods conspire against me in this way?

Well, my four day weekend was a veritable cornucopia of joy, cake, joy, pastries, joy, potroast, joy, Colin Farrell and joy. It was joyful. Went to A&Js, where the four of us cooked a big roast dinner, (well, three of us. James mostly just got in the way) watched TV and discussed such mind-boggling questions as

• Could Sunny Baudelaire bite through Dalek battlearmour?
  
• Is it possible to build a robot capable of defeating Mister T?
  
• What were the people responsible for the new Rocky movie thinking?

Of course, the rest of the week was the usual round of stupid customers, rude customers, customers who can't speak English and customers who for one reason or another are just plain annoying. Still, it is now Saturday, I have in the bag at my feet three parsnips and batteries for a remote control Dalek (which I shall be using to chase Bellatrix around the room until I get bored or she stops freaking out), and the sequel to Elizabeth Knox's fantastiful book, the Rainbow Opera, so if the idiot in the computer booth next to me would just stop his wittering, I'm pretty much set for 48 hours of gleeful lazification.

I hereby decree that from this point on, Miami Vice shall be known as my Big Gay Cop Fandom. Too bad, FAKE. Call me when you have a movie version starring Colin Farrell as Dee. That would be so awesome. And Edward James Olmos could totally be the Chief! If Liam Neeson wants me to fight at his side during the End of Days, he totally needs to create that movie for me.

In other news, I was going to post a big list of Escaflowne fic recs and such here, but I need to go find Miami Vice porn now, so everyone go and read Mr T versus Escaflowne instead.

I like cats, I really do, but if those two outside don't stop yowling like a couple of welfare mothers in the dole line, Froodle is gonna have to choke a bitch. Shut up, cats! I have to go to work in the morning! And not kill people, which is the tricky part, since both customers and coworkers are being extra-annoying lately.

In other news, Cally is still the Imperious Leader, Lee still does my head in, and Mr T could totally take that guy from the Green Mile in a fight. Assuming, of course, that the guy from the Green Mile was inclined less towards healing Tom Hanks (boo!) and more towards picking fights with 80's icons (yay!).

Urgh. What the fuck is Cassandra doing in the A-Team? Isn't it enough that she must periodically irritate me in Highlander (3000 years ago, get the fuck over it, bitch!), now she has to sneak into my other fandoms too? Not to mention, if there were ever two fandoms that should never, ever be mixed, it has to be Highlander and the A-Team. Except for Mr T, because he fits in everywhere, foo'!

Mary-Margaret Humes, however, is awesome and totally allowed to be in the A-Team, because people who were in Eerie, Indiana rock and should show up unexpectedly in more shows that I watch.

Man, it would be so awesome if Mr T guest-starred in EI...