...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Do you guys know why the 4400 is better than pretty much every sci-fi/fantasy/horror show ever? It's not because it has Billy Campbell bringing heaven to earth (if the suckfest that was Shark proved anything, it is that not even Billy Campbell can rescue a show that is otherwise dire) or because there's a character whose ability is the power to make shockingly poor B-movie conspiracy thrillers, or even because Joel Gresch is a marvellous actor who really hasn't been given the praise he deserves in previous posts because I'm shallow and would rather talk about how beautiful and earnest his character is. No, the 4400 is better than it's peers because it has never, ever had an episode about bugs.

I hate bugs. I would rather face hoardes of ravening zombies in a nuclear wasteland than see some bugs. And that sucks because, from Buffy to the X-Files via Smallville and Stargate and Supernatural, in every sci-fi-ish show in the whole history of recorded time, there's always an episode about bugs somewhere. Even Heroes did it with that whole Mohinderspider thing - and really, way to take a character whose only positive attribute is his pretty face - not to mention, one of only a few really attractive actors left by that point - and totally wreck it for everyone. Stupid Mohinder. Stupid show.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I just finished watching Fear Itself, and I was so relieved that I didn't have to deal with anyone's arachnophobia coming to glaring CGI life on my TV screen that I forgot about the bit at the start where the dude gets attacked by clowns. And now I'm having a total "can't sleep, clown will eat me" moment and I'm trying to distract myself and it's totally not working.

Damn it. I am going to make a hot chocolate and then sit up working on my Marked!Jordan/Shawn smutfic and try not to think about clowns with mouths full of yellowed, needle-sharp teeth and long, jagged fingernails tearing at my flesh OH GOD!

Shark sucks. Like, to infinity and beyond. I was all ready to write it off as a lame ripoff of lame House only with lame lawyers, and then BILLY CAMPBELL showed up and I was like OMGJORDANILOVEYOU only then he turned out to be this incredibly horrifying serial killer (and seriously dudes, a serial killer has to be pretty horrifying before I'm horrified) and he didn't be at all awesome, he was just frightening and not in a good or awesome way AT ALL and it sucked.

Oh, and did I mention, it's pretty much House but with lawyers? Like Shark is House, and Blonde Boss is Cuddy, and Tiny Latino Dude is Cameron, and Whitey McWhiteBoy is Chase, and Bitchy Blonde is Bitchy Blonde (from the later seasons, I don't know her name because I lost interest during that storyline with the mean police dude that went on for like a thousand episodes) and Sasspirella is what would happen if you combined Foreman and Cameron into one person and Investigator Tall is Foreman and it's fucking lame, dudes. Also, Shark's real name isn't Shark, it's Stark, and every time someone uses it I keep hoping that he'll don a blinged-out flying suit and zoom away to fight some terrorists or whatever, but he doesn't because Shark is made from fail.

Seriously, dudes. What a waste of perfectly good Jordanbeard.

Anyway, now I am watching Queen of Swords and it's epic - Methos is this wee snarky doctor who steals apples and is snarky, and Kronos is this mean Colonel dude who steals all the peasants gold and is really snide about everything in a really English villain type way, only he has this random Spanish accent that comes and goes at random. There's a lame girl Zorro who is lame but whatever, this is really about Kronos stealin' gold and meening on people and Methos being snarky. Go watch!