...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

God, there are some right divs at the House of Gas. The fire alarm went off today and, I kid you not, our fire warden stood there in the middle of the corridor, blocking the way, bleating about whether or not we knew where the assembly point for our call centre was in the event of a fire. I was like, "Hmm, is it perchance outside of the burning building?" How do these people make it to adulthood? Fuckwad.

Anyway, some important points to note:

• The Wolverine movie is beautiful. It's a bit soap-opera-ish with the evil long lost brother thing and of course it has Gambit in (boo!) but really, this is about Hugh Jackman wearing leather and lots of hairspray, and a flimsy excuse for a plot strung together wuth awesomely choreographed fight scenes.
  
  
• Hairspray has a bit wrecked the earlier X-Men movies for me. Well, not X3, that one came pre-wrecked. But now I cannot look at Cyclops without seeing Corny Collins and wanting him to dance and sing and be massively inappropriate on a daytime kids TV show. And then I feel sad when it doesn't happen.
  
  
• If the Wolverine movie is beautiful, then Coraline is even more beautiful. I cannot describe the wonder. Go watch!
  
  
• I love the movie version of Interview with the Vampire. I sometimes forget how much I love it because I'm a bit shallow and there's nobody I really think is hot in there,* and also nowadays it's a bit tainted from the combined batshittery of Tom Cruise and Anne Rice, but I was watching it on Sunday and as soon as I heard those first few bars in the opening sequence, all my love for it came rushing back.
  
  
• The first half of the fourth season of Supernatural is semi-awesome. That's not the same as being full-on good, by the way. It's like, a bit good. There's a lifesized walking, talking, suicidal teddy bear (awesome), a stubbly angel who's a bit gay for Dean (awesome), an episode which is basically Supernatural does the Universal Studios Monster Mash (awesome to the power of a sideways eight thing) and BUNNY! Unfortunately, there's also creepy Padaleckisex, the stubbly angel isn't as stubbly or as overtly gay for Dean as I feel he could be, and Bunny is really mean. To like, everyone. Oh Bunny, how have we come to this? Also, there were these totally mean witches who tried to ruin Halloween for everyone. Boo, mean witches! You're lucky it was only Sam and Dean that showed up to punish you with guns. If Jack Skellington had been there, then you'd be sorry.
  
  
• I had better have pig flu! I feel like shit and the only thing keeping me from curling up and dying in misery is the thought that I am actively spreading a contagion that will wipe out billions of humans. If this turns out just to be a bad cold, I will be pissed.
  
  
• The Assassination of Jesse James is soooooooo booooring. Casey Affleck may be mildly less hideous than his sibling, but they are both gaping voids in the fabric of the universe, into which any semblence of talent or charisma is dragged, screaming, into the darkness, ne'er to return. Also, it is so badly directed, they have to have some random narrate what's going on in every scene.

Anyway, I think that's all the important life lessons I learnt this week - I trust you will all take them on board and be enriched by my wisdom. I'm going to watch the Wire and bemoan Bunny's fall from grace. Oh Bunny!

*Okay, it has Christian Slater, but he's in it for like ten minutes, and althoughg Antonio Banderas is normally hot, let's face it, white base and a Morticia Addams wig are not a good look for him.

Although not strictly vampire-themed and also sadly lacking in the Sexy Priests Who Kill People department, LXG has made it on my playlist purely because I was in the mood for the wonderfully snarky and intolerably gorgeous Dorian Gray, a character who has done much to lessen my desire to kick Stuart Townsend in the nuts for his part in making me sit through QotD. Still, him being snarky to Secret Agent!Tom Sawyer is all kinds of funny. Poor sad Tom Sawyer. Also, seriously, what is up with Roxula's accent? Obviously when he's the Phantom, it's all generic Eastern European, and that's fine, because if 24 has taught me anything, it's that all villians come from Eastern Europe, but the rest of the time it switches from upper-class to working-class English for no obvious reason and it makes me cross with it's fakosity. Because, you know, Mr Hyde, Captain Nemo and Tom Sawyer teaming up to Fight Crime is totally believable, but stupid accents piss me off.

In other news concerning things that rule, Big Wolf on Campus is awesome. Santa's evil younger brother trying to steal Christmas, a superhero that starts fires to get attention and a demon stealing souls at a high school election are exactly what TV should be all about. That, and snide remarks about Tom Cruise and the Star Wars prequels.