...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

OH! Also, has anyone else seen the preview for that new Teen Wolf TV show? It looks like Big Wolf on Campus but not a) funny and b) homoerotic, and since Big Wolf on Campus's entire appeal was based on the fact that it was a) hilarious and b) subtextually gayer than a bag of monkeys, I have a sad feeling inside me that tells me Teen Wolf will suck.

Hopefully I will be wrong, though. Americans, have you got it yet? Care to share your thoughts?

I was going to come on here and rant about how I hate my job and the fact that I work with utter brain-dead twatosaurs, but I decided to put Big Wolf on Campus on while I waited for my tea to cook and OH GOD!

Seriously you guys, OH GOD! It is so beautiful and hilarious and occaisonally MASSIVELY WRONG and I actually hurt a little bit from laughing so hard, OH DUDES YOU MUST ALL WATCH IT AND MARVEL AT ITS WONDERMENT!

I feel like I should make some kind of announcement at work, like, ASSHOLES! BWOC JUST SAVED YOU FROM GETTING YOUR FUCKING THROATS SLIT, YOU GODDAMNED RETARDS!

Oh, Big Wolf on Campus, ILU.

Greetings, mortals! I just know you're all dying to hear what I've been up to since last my words of wisdom did brighten your pathetic lives, and so here I am, selflessly sharing my brilliance with you all.

Snithy, you will no doubt be gratified to know that preparations for the GREATEST HALLOWEEN EVER continue unabated, and yes, you will be expected to take part in all the joy that will be going on when you visit. And yes, you're going t watch the Corpse Bride. And wear a costume. And smile like you mean it, bitch! Evil laugh, etc.

Did anyone here watch the original version of Kingdom Hospital? The one actually created by Lars von Trier and free of all the annoying Stephen King shout-outs? ("Great art does sell"... "America's greatest living artist"... yeah, shut up, King.) And if so, do they ever actually explain the deal with Paul and the second Dr Gottreich? Because you know, little ghost girls and giant shark-anteater hybrids are cool and all, but at heart I'm a shallow person, and pretty ghost boys are always going to hold my attention over silly things like plot.

Also, I finally got my hands on the two-disc edition of the Lost Boys, and oh man, has time ever not been good to Corey Haim. Although I did laugh evilly when he and Corey Feldman were there talking about their careers as if they actually still had any. But at least Corey Feldman still has his looks. And his gloriously husky voice. Swoon!

On a Corey-related note, you know what show is completely awesome that I had forgotten was totally awesome? Big Wolf on Campus. SO AWESOME! I actually feel inspired to... I don't know, do some unspecified fandomish thing. I'm sure eventually my natural laziness will reassert itself and the urge will pass, however. But still. Awesome! Like, when Merton is all frozen in stone, and he leaves the video diary for Lori and Tommy telling them how to defeat all these monsters and there's that scene of him flipping over the index card, seeing Celine Dion's name and screaming, or taking an electrical drill to Freddie Prinze Jnr, or his tip for dealing with an evil leprechaun ("If he's this high... just kick him."). And Vince! And Sparky! And Boris! Oh, how I love Boris. And the boyband from outer space and the male pregnancy and the... other good thing I was going to mention, but it escapes me. And the Coreys, of course, although Corey Feldman is clearly the superiour Corey.

Anyway, I would ramble for longer but time grows short and I have House slash to read orphens to donate money to over the Internet, so farewell!

I have come to the conclusion that Big Wolf on Campus could not be any gayer if it tried. There are films containing actual gay sex that are less gay than this show. Also, that episode with Tommy's evil alter-ego, where he's watching Jerry Springer or whatever with Dean, and he laughs at one of the guests and says "Loser! No wonder your birth mother didn't want you"?

I wish I knew someone who was adopted just so I could say that to them.

In other news, it needs to hurry up and be May 25 already. I need me some fine Wolveriney goodness. Also the Thief Lord and Miami Vice need to come out really soon and shut up Helen Colin Farrell is not anybody's bitch!

Big Wolf on Campus makes Miami Vice references! It can't be natural to be as pleased by this as I am, but come on, "Next week we'll be discussing the rise and fall of Don Johnson"? Mr D, you are my hero even if you do eat cute monkeys and pick fights with teenaged boys dressed as Micheal Jackson!

In other news, my Gay Pirate Book* has arrived, courtesy of Liam Neeson and Royal Mail, along with the second season of Miami Vice (OMG, that dude stole his Ferrari! Kill him, Elvis!) and the first season of Drawn Together. Not that this prevented me splurging on the Chronicals of Narnia boxset in Computer Exchange and discussing the Neverending Story with the cashier, but still, that should satisfy my entertainment needs until the third season of XM:E comes out.

*Captain Hook: the Adventures of a Notorious Youth, by JV Hart and illustrated by the guy who illustrates the Lemony Snicket books. I'm on a Peter Pan kick this week.

Although not strictly vampire-themed and also sadly lacking in the Sexy Priests Who Kill People department, LXG has made it on my playlist purely because I was in the mood for the wonderfully snarky and intolerably gorgeous Dorian Gray, a character who has done much to lessen my desire to kick Stuart Townsend in the nuts for his part in making me sit through QotD. Still, him being snarky to Secret Agent!Tom Sawyer is all kinds of funny. Poor sad Tom Sawyer. Also, seriously, what is up with Roxula's accent? Obviously when he's the Phantom, it's all generic Eastern European, and that's fine, because if 24 has taught me anything, it's that all villians come from Eastern Europe, but the rest of the time it switches from upper-class to working-class English for no obvious reason and it makes me cross with it's fakosity. Because, you know, Mr Hyde, Captain Nemo and Tom Sawyer teaming up to Fight Crime is totally believable, but stupid accents piss me off.

In other news concerning things that rule, Big Wolf on Campus is awesome. Santa's evil younger brother trying to steal Christmas, a superhero that starts fires to get attention and a demon stealing souls at a high school election are exactly what TV should be all about. That, and snide remarks about Tom Cruise and the Star Wars prequels.

I just realised why Anubis's robe and hood looked so familar; he totally nicked if off the Werewolf Syndicate. I mean, okay, I know Controllin' Worm morality isn't comparable to that of human, but stealing the robes from the sole survivor of a group who were massacred by a pair of werewolf-eating vampires? For shame, Anubis. For shame.

In other news, Corey Feldman is hot. This of course is naught but the simple truth, but unfortunatly the (female) lecturer who failed me on my I&A mock looks like a girl version of Corey, and that hurts me in my Fangirlish heart.

More Highlander watchery. Duncan and Methos slay me with their cuteness. Have just been watching the episode where Duncan gets Methos to pretend to attack an Immortal called Robert in order to convince Robert's wife Angela that she still loves him. Methos' panicked expression and spazzy run when Angela chases after him with a sword is hilarious, but him tricking Duncan out of the barge and Duncan spitefully going around messing everything up as payback made me laugh so hard, I think most of Yorkshire heard me.

Alan complaining that Duncan sounds too American to make most of the flashbacks seem convincing. Jess didn't realise they were flashbacks, so presumably she just assumed Duncan liked prancing around in period clothing for the hell of it. But hey, who doesn't? I have no opinion, since Duncan + fluffy shirt renders me incapable of coherent thought.

You know who I miss? Xavier St Cloud. I mean, his episodes were kind of boring, but he was great. I'm so glad he still turns up in backstories every now and then.

Apparently Methos studied duelling and medicine at the University of Heidelberg in 1453. Merton planned to major in Paranormal Studies at the same university at the end of Big Wolf on Campus. Yay for bizarre fandomy crossovers!

In other news, today I made some very delicious brownies while listening to Hanson. Have come to the conclusion that Thlayli really does not like Hanson, as he went crazy and managed to leap over the four foot high puppy pen in which he lives, landing on the dining table and hiding behind a pile of old greeting cards. He has no appreciation for excellent 90's pop. I made it up to him by playing Simon and Garfunkel for an hour or so afterwards.

Oh, such a busy Froodle am I.

Marcus came 'round on Monday night - we had hot chocolate and I introduced him to the campy wonder that is Big Wolf on Campus. Much giggling at time-travelling Russian villians ("In future American pro wrestlers becomes governors. Is true! I am from future!"), gelatinous cubes, fire-breathing devil dogs, boybands from outer space, male pregnancy and of course, Vince. Also, I await the day somebody slashes Devon and Chad from N'sipid. "When we're alone, call me Admiral". It practically writes itself!

Yesterday Jess and I went to the new Chinese resturant that's opened near the train station - was very tasty and shall probably go again. Alan's working night shifts at the moment, so rather than have her drive back to Halifax at gone midnight and have Alan catch the morning rush-hour train home, she stayed at mine overnight. We went to a new bar called Cocoon, which was nice, being of the non-crowded, plenty of seating and no drunken morons variety. Also watched an episode of Highlander, despite Jessica's vehement protests (she Will succumb to the power of sexy Duncan, damn it. I'm not going to be the only one Fangirling him) and an episode of Firefly.

Jessica's latest scheme to make millions and avoid working ever again has taken the shape of creating a comedy sketch show based on the exploits of all the people we know. So we're sitting there in the lounge, scribbling down ideas, and Alan walks in.

Jess: Alan, help me think of something weird Catherine does.
Alan: *looks around him, taking in the rabbit pen, doll collection, comics strewn all over the floor and anime posters covering the walls* ...Is this a trick question?
Jess: Haha. Okay, you can make notes on James. That's going to be a goldmine.
Alan: Normally I could slag him off all day, but I'm just too tired.

Company is now called "The production company, for fucks sake!", based on Alan's reaction when we told him about Jess's plan.

Today is Bernard Black day. Yay for Hexmas! Also, in honour of Bernard Black, the ban on Fancying Irish People has been amended to create an exception for characters played by Dylan Moran. not that I imagine many people will fancy Simon from Shawn of the Dead, but oh well.

Urgh, my head - the Miriglum and I watched six consecutive hours of Big Wolf on Campus this afternoon and I think I've finally gone insane.

Also, I do not have a 'Mertonface', whatever that means, and even if I did, which I don't, I don't make it over Bernard Black. Though I admit to finding his hair rather attractive.