...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Okay, who here has seen Suck? Because I think you need to tell me about it. I saw the trailer and it looked kind of fun and silly and wonderful but then I go online and everyone is like RARGH I HATE SUCK IT IS RETARDED, so I need people to clarify - is it retarded like Prince of Persia and Van Helsing and SWAT, where it;s dumb but also COMPLETELY BEAUTIFUL, or retarded like Queen of the Damned, where I'm going to want to rip off my own face due to boredom and despair 40 minutes in?

You know, I talk a lot on here about people being the poor man's version of other people, but I don't always mean it as a bad thing. Like, okay, Stellan Skarsgård is totally the poor man's version of Russell Crowe, but what that actually means is that he has traits in common with Russell Crowe, and that's a good thing. It's not as good as actually being Russell Crowe, but it still makes you better than people who aren't Russell Crowe-like at all. Or like how Colby is the poor man's version of Seeley Booth - all that means is that he will eventually evolve into Seeley Booth.* A few more years, a better haircut, and maybe some hugging of puppies and Boothdom is totally achievable.

But then you get these really tragic cases, where someone is trying to be the poor man's version of some other, more awesome person, and they fail and wind up becoming the poor man's version of someone far more losery than their intended idol. Case in point: Angus Sutherland. I just feel so bad for him, because he's trying so hard to be Keifer Sutherland in the original Lost Boys, and instead of being David Mark II, he ends up being Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned.

And before anyone gets on my case, yes, I loved the Lost Boys 2, and yes, I do hate Queen of the Damned with all the considerable hate in my soul, but that's not the point of this post. The point is that while Keifer Sutherland was good at being a badass vampire and exchanging long homoerotically-charged looks with Jason Patrick, Angus Sutherland is really only good for the latter. Also, and this is not really his fault but it should be mentioned, Tad Hilgenbrink as Chris Emerson is nothing like as pretty as Jason Patrick as Micheal Emerson.

Of course, if any of you wanted to rush off and find me lots of Shane/Chris porn, I would not be adverse to reading it. In the spirit of scientific enquiry, of course.

I was going to make a list here of things I love and things I hate about the fourth season of Numb3rs, but I don't feel like it any more, so I will just say that we need more falling in water from Colby and less wearing of horrible ties from Charlie.


And now, some random quiz things:

You Are Candy Corn

Your Halloween personality is whimsical, colorful, and creative. You see Halloween as a time to get your creative juices flowing. Each year, Halloween can't start soon enough for you. You tend to go all out for Halloween. You decorate like crazy and always dress up.

What Halloween Treat Are You?

You Are a Werewolf

You are moody and easily provoked. You are highly loyal and protective of those you love. While you can be intense at times, you are generally a laid back person. But if a fight comes your way, you will fight 'til the death if necessary. You seem normal to most people. No one understands how different you can be. It's like a switch flips for you sometimes - and then you're a completely different creature.

Are You a Vampire or a Werewolf?

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You're the type of person who stands out in a crowd, even when you're trying to blend in. You are honest in your character and appearance. You don't pretend to be someone else. Your inner demon is sorrow. You tend to get depressed easily. People think you're cute because you're rebellious. Your uniqueness is charming.

The Cute Monster Test

*Except for the shooting clowns bit, as we can all agree that Don is far more likely to shoot a clown than anyone else on Numb3rs.

Although not strictly vampire-themed and also sadly lacking in the Sexy Priests Who Kill People department, LXG has made it on my playlist purely because I was in the mood for the wonderfully snarky and intolerably gorgeous Dorian Gray, a character who has done much to lessen my desire to kick Stuart Townsend in the nuts for his part in making me sit through QotD. Still, him being snarky to Secret Agent!Tom Sawyer is all kinds of funny. Poor sad Tom Sawyer. Also, seriously, what is up with Roxula's accent? Obviously when he's the Phantom, it's all generic Eastern European, and that's fine, because if 24 has taught me anything, it's that all villians come from Eastern Europe, but the rest of the time it switches from upper-class to working-class English for no obvious reason and it makes me cross with it's fakosity. Because, you know, Mr Hyde, Captain Nemo and Tom Sawyer teaming up to Fight Crime is totally believable, but stupid accents piss me off.

In other news concerning things that rule, Big Wolf on Campus is awesome. Santa's evil younger brother trying to steal Christmas, a superhero that starts fires to get attention and a demon stealing souls at a high school election are exactly what TV should be all about. That, and snide remarks about Tom Cruise and the Star Wars prequels.