froodle | Entries tagged with the lost boys 2

OH DUDES. I just watched the Lost Boys 2, and while I am still all about the Shane/Chris love, now I am also a little bit about the Erik/Kyle love too. Mostly because of that scene where they're playing a video game and Erik starts cheating and when Kyle yells at him he's all like, "Stop crying! You, always with your crying!" so Kyle runs him through with a sword. I love it because it's like a really gruesome version of the brawls that the Brothers Froodle and I used to have growing up, except instead of penetrating each other with phallic objects, we would yank the game controller out and try to choke and/or whip each other with the leads.

I don't know if that makes us more deviant or less deviant than a bunch of X-TREME SPORTS vampires though.

You know, I talk a lot on here about people being the poor man's version of other people, but I don't always mean it as a bad thing. Like, okay, Stellan Skarsgård is totally the poor man's version of Russell Crowe, but what that actually means is that he has traits in common with Russell Crowe, and that's a good thing. It's not as good as actually being Russell Crowe, but it still makes you better than people who aren't Russell Crowe-like at all. Or like how Colby is the poor man's version of Seeley Booth - all that means is that he will eventually evolve into Seeley Booth.* A few more years, a better haircut, and maybe some hugging of puppies and Boothdom is totally achievable.

But then you get these really tragic cases, where someone is trying to be the poor man's version of some other, more awesome person, and they fail and wind up becoming the poor man's version of someone far more losery than their intended idol. Case in point: Angus Sutherland. I just feel so bad for him, because he's trying so hard to be Keifer Sutherland in the original Lost Boys, and instead of being David Mark II, he ends up being Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned.

And before anyone gets on my case, yes, I loved the Lost Boys 2, and yes, I do hate Queen of the Damned with all the considerable hate in my soul, but that's not the point of this post. The point is that while Keifer Sutherland was good at being a badass vampire and exchanging long homoerotically-charged looks with Jason Patrick, Angus Sutherland is really only good for the latter. Also, and this is not really his fault but it should be mentioned, Tad Hilgenbrink as Chris Emerson is nothing like as pretty as Jason Patrick as Micheal Emerson.

Of course, if any of you wanted to rush off and find me lots of Shane/Chris porn, I would not be adverse to reading it. In the spirit of scientific enquiry, of course.

I was going to make a list here of things I love and things I hate about the fourth season of Numb3rs, but I don't feel like it any more, so I will just say that we need more falling in water from Colby and less wearing of horrible ties from Charlie.

And now, some random quiz things:

You Are Candy Corn

Your Halloween personality is whimsical, colorful, and creative.

You see Halloween as a time to get your creative juices flowing.

Each year, Halloween can't start soon enough for you.

You tend to go all out for Halloween. You decorate like crazy and always dress up.

What Halloween Treat Are You?

You Are a Werewolf

You are moody and easily provoked.

You are highly loyal and protective of those you love.

While you can be intense at times, you are generally a laid back person.

But if a fight comes your way, you will fight 'til the death if necessary.

You seem normal to most people. No one understands how different you can be.

It's like a switch flips for you sometimes - and then you're a completely different creature.

Are You a Vampire or a Werewolf?

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You're the type of person who stands out in a crowd, even when you're trying to blend in.

You are honest in your character and appearance. You don't pretend to be someone else.

Your inner demon is sorrow. You tend to get depressed easily.

People think you're cute because you're rebellious. Your uniqueness is charming.

The Cute Monster Test

*Except for the shooting clowns bit, as we can all agree that Don is far more likely to shoot a clown than anyone else on Numb3rs.

You Are Candy Corn

What Halloween Treat Are You?

You Are a Werewolf

Are You a Vampire or a Werewolf?

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

The Cute Monster Test

*Except for the shooting clowns bit, as we can all agree that Don is far more likely to shoot a clown than anyone else on Numb3rs.

So anyway, as I was saying before I got distracted by the unexpected WONDERFULNESS of the Lost Boys 2, I'm starting a campaign to get Todd elected as Prime Minister of Britain. Obviously, I will expect all of you to join me in my mission, but not through my usual methods of threatening and insulting. Oh no, this time I will persuade you with the force of my SUPERIOR LOGIC!

...except I got bored of writing things, so I made a poster instead. BE INSPIRED!

Vote Todd

I was going to make one that had him pointing with the caption "Your country needs YOU... for food," but I couldn't draw a pointing hand.

Anyway, although my immense skill as an artist should be enough to win you over, here is the quick version of why Todd should be Prime Minister:

While he is without doubt a parasite who lives from draining the life out of others, this does not actually make him any different to any other British political figure at this time. You all knew I was going to make that point, so don't look suprised.
There are too many dolees, old people, retards and general scratters out there. I have to talk to most of them on a daily basis. If he eats them all, my job will get easier and we can spend taxpayers money on cool things like lasers instead of benefits for scrouging pikeys.
He actually consults his people before getting them involved in illegal wars, listens to what they say, and if they refuse to participate, lets them go on their merry life-sucking way.
He has a space ship. MORE THAN ONE!
He never lets his people become the bitch of any other country, civilization or fucked-up hybridized Michealthings. Unlike the British government, who have succesffuly turned England into Americas zipper-mouthed gimp. I'm just sayin', Todd wouldn't stand for that shit.
He has a cool beard. Does David Cameron have a cool beard? I don't think so.

And I know some of you are thinking, "Okay Froodle, you're very blase about letting him eat all the people you hate, but you wouldn't be so sanguine if it was you on the end of his bitin' hand," so let me just point out that I work in customer service, which is remarkably similar to having the life sucked out of you except worse because you don't ever die! Plus at least if I was Wraithchow, I wouldn't have to pay rent or utilities on my own snug little cocoon, and I wouldn't have to talk on the 'phone while I was waiting to be eaten.

While he is without doubt a parasite who lives from draining the life out of others, this does not actually make him any different to any other British political figure at this time. You all knew I was going to make that point, so don't look suprised.
There are too many dolees, old people, retards and general scratters out there. I have to talk to most of them on a daily basis. If he eats them all, my job will get easier and we can spend taxpayers money on cool things like lasers instead of benefits for scrouging pikeys.
He actually consults his people before getting them involved in illegal wars, listens to what they say, and if they refuse to participate, lets them go on their merry life-sucking way.
He has a space ship. MORE THAN ONE!
He never lets his people become the bitch of any other country, civilization or fucked-up hybridized Michealthings. Unlike the British government, who have succesffuly turned England into Americas zipper-mouthed gimp. I'm just sayin', Todd wouldn't stand for that shit.
He has a cool beard. Does David Cameron have a cool beard? I don't think so.

Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.

Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.

Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.

In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.

his

As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.

*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.

**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name.

his

Aww, guys, I just saw the cutest thing in the whole world ever. And it wasn't even a monkey holding a puppy! See, I was sweeping up around the rabbit pen, and there were a few bits of leek that had rolled under the food bowl and been hidden from view, and of course as soon as I unearthed them there was this huge bunny feeding frenzy, and somehow Thlayli and Kagame managed to get hold of one end of the same piece, and it was totally like the spagetti scene in Lady and the Tramp only with bunny-kisses and no stupid Italian dudes in the background.

Speaking of things that are cute, how awesome is that bit in Uncertainty Principle after Don gets shot and Charlie is all hysterical and Don's like, "Don't say anything to Dad, okay? Charlie! Nothing to Dad!" And it's like, Don, it was an FBI shootout that was on the news! He's acting like he scratched the car and is all like, "Shit, I'm in so much trouble!" and also, as if Papa Eppes is going to miss your bandaged arm and Charlie throwing fits in the garage. This is like the Numb3rs equivilent of that scene in the Lost Boys when Sammy's all, "My own brother, a Goddamn shit-sucking vampire. Oooh, you wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy!" and then storms up the stairs in a snit.

Oh no. I just reminded myself of the Lost Boys 2. I'm going to go cry into my pillow now.