...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Man, what the hell is going on with parsnips in this city? There is like a Leeds-wide shortage of parsnips. All Morrisons had were two lonesome prepacked bags of the most tiddly and pointless parsnips ever to be dragged from Gods green earth, and at my local greengrocer? Three. THREE! How am I supposed to make roast parsnips if the Parsnip Gods conspire against me in this way?

Well, my four day weekend was a veritable cornucopia of joy, cake, joy, pastries, joy, potroast, joy, Colin Farrell and joy. It was joyful. Went to A&Js, where the four of us cooked a big roast dinner, (well, three of us. James mostly just got in the way) watched TV and discussed such mind-boggling questions as

• Could Sunny Baudelaire bite through Dalek battlearmour?
  
• Is it possible to build a robot capable of defeating Mister T?
  
• What were the people responsible for the new Rocky movie thinking?

Of course, the rest of the week was the usual round of stupid customers, rude customers, customers who can't speak English and customers who for one reason or another are just plain annoying. Still, it is now Saturday, I have in the bag at my feet three parsnips and batteries for a remote control Dalek (which I shall be using to chase Bellatrix around the room until I get bored or she stops freaking out), and the sequel to Elizabeth Knox's fantastiful book, the Rainbow Opera, so if the idiot in the computer booth next to me would just stop his wittering, I'm pretty much set for 48 hours of gleeful lazification.

Big Wolf on Campus makes Miami Vice references! It can't be natural to be as pleased by this as I am, but come on, "Next week we'll be discussing the rise and fall of Don Johnson"? Mr D, you are my hero even if you do eat cute monkeys and pick fights with teenaged boys dressed as Micheal Jackson!

In other news, my Gay Pirate Book* has arrived, courtesy of Liam Neeson and Royal Mail, along with the second season of Miami Vice (OMG, that dude stole his Ferrari! Kill him, Elvis!) and the first season of Drawn Together. Not that this prevented me splurging on the Chronicals of Narnia boxset in Computer Exchange and discussing the Neverending Story with the cashier, but still, that should satisfy my entertainment needs until the third season of XM:E comes out.

*Captain Hook: the Adventures of a Notorious Youth, by JV Hart and illustrated by the guy who illustrates the Lemony Snicket books. I'm on a Peter Pan kick this week.

Hmm.

Buzzimina and I went to see Phantom and Lemony Snicket at the cinema today. I was pretty suprised that he'd want to see something like Phantom at all, but the real O_O moment arrived after we left the cinema:

Buzz: So I was thinking...
Froodle (mouth full of brownie): Mmm?
Buzz: Raoul says he fell in love with Christine's song, right?
Froodle: Mmm.
Buzz: But... it was the Phantom who taught her to sing, yeah?
Froodle: Mmm.
Buzz: So, in a way, it's really the Phantom's song that Raoul fell in love with.
Froodle: ......
Buzz: So that means that Raoul is actually in love with the Phantom.
Froodle: *teary eyes of Slashy Sibling pride*

Seriously. I've never been less ashamed to be related to him.

Lemony Snicket was pretty good, but I haven't read the books and there were these fucking irritating kids and their Entitlement Moo sitting right behind us making noise and kicking the backs of our chairs, so I'll leave off reviewing it for another time, except to say that Violet has the most gorgeous costumes, the closing credits are well worth staying to the end for, I'm sure that banker was Pettigrew in Prisoner of Azkaban, and that Klaus is adorable and I want to keep him as a pet.

Speaking of pets, and in keeping with the spirit of this Buzzcentric entry, over Christmas my brothers and I were discussing the cuteness of the ickle ginger bunny in the petstore down the road, and how I wanted to buy it and call it Sharpe and take it back to Leeds with me. The conversation turned to Buzz wanting two guineapigs, and to La Parental Unit saying he couldn't have any more pets. At which point, he turns to his hamster, Bear, and says, with a completely straight face, "Hurry up and die, Bear. I don't like you anymore."

It was truly a Denethor moment of hilarious proportions.