...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Me: Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon is really fucking unnerving and it makes me unsettled and jittery no matter how many times I read it

Also me: Mike's away for four days, Get Thee Behind Me Bubba Moon is the perfect falling asleep audio book choice

Tesco Man: knock knock, it's me, the guy who brings you groceries every week

Me: AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Drinking hot chocolate, eating dark cherries with brandy cream, listening to Peter S. Beagle read the Last Unicorn. In my expert opinion, Day Zero of Operation Holiday is an unqualified success.

For my 30th I want a cake with a picture of Zachary Quinto riding a unicorn on. Either coffe and walnut or carrot with pecans and sultanas are acceptable flavours. It should have a ratio of approximately 65% cakebody to 35% buttercream, and be decorated with glitter. So get on that, please.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Eating chocolate mousse and reading WtNV porn - straight-up WINNING AT LIFE, motherfuckers.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Had a dream last night that Corey Feldman was coming for tea and I was wigging out because fucking Shoprite didn't have any dips. One trip to Douglas later, I am now fully dipped-up. It's a shame Corey Feldman and I aren't really friends, because I think he would be impressed by the selection of dips that I have.

I changed my mind, I want to see Texas Killing Fields after all. I don't know what the plot is, but presumably it's about some fields in Texas that go crazy and run around killing a bunch of dudes, and then Daddy Winchester has to stop them. Or something, I don't even know, he might be on the side of the fields or the evil mastermind behind everything, who cares? In the trailer he wears a GUN and STARES AT THINGS. Clearly it is the greatest movie of the year.

I had a pancake today, it was horrible. My pancakes are like ten thousand times tastier. Also, this temp agency completely wasted my time by asking me to come in for an interview after I sent them my CV and covering letter, only to tell me they didn't have any places available for the type of job I wanted and at the salary range I was asking for. WHICH I WROTE IN THE LETTER AND ALSO ON MY CV. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME COME IN THEN?!

Is there a Losers kink meme? I thought there was, but I cannot find it. I did find the Watchmen kink meme though, that is quite fun and full of beautiful porn. There was a fic I was going to tell you all about, but I can't remember what it was now. It was quite beautiful.

For my birthday, I want a secret research base in Antarctica, or however the fuck you spell that word. I probably won't use it to build doom-squid and kill a bunch of people, I'll just hang out and maybe make friends with some penguins. Penguins are ace. They're always dressed for a dinner-dance even though those only happen at Christmas and whenever two penguins get married.

Now here is something I stole from evilinsanemonkey:

Favorite character:
Least favorite character:
Character with the best hair:
Character with the best eyes:
Character with the best smile:
Character I'd most want to kiss:
Character I'd most likely fuck:
Character I'd make lunch for:
Character I'd go singing in the rain with:
Character I'd go shopping with:
Character I'd go dancing with:
Character I'd take over the world with:
Character I most want to see more of:
Favorite pairing:

Is LJ doing anyone else's head in? Every time I try to log in or view a page, it takes like eleventy-billion years to load, if it loads at all.

There needs to be a t-shirt that says "the only straight I do is straight-up bitch". I feel a bit annoyed with the intarwebs for not having produced such a thing already. Stop sucking, intarwebs!

It rained ALL DAY today, so I stayed inside and made chocolate and pecan cookies and watched Eerie Indiana (the ultimate rainy day viewing) then about four o'clock the sun finally showed it's face so I grabbed my shoes and went out. It was absolutely gorgeous, I walked on the headland and there were baby rabbits and baby lambs, and there was this one twenty-metre stretch that was just covered in bluebells - I could hardly see the grass, it was just a carpet of this gorgeous purple-blue colour - and the late afternoon sun was low over the sea and so the waves were golden, and there was a bit of a breeze so it blew little flecks of salt into the air and I could taste it as I walked. It was amazing!

Then I came back and watched the Guy Richie Sherlock Holmes movie, and my mum just yelled that only three of the cookies are left and I haven't had any yet so I'm going down to lay claim to them now, so goodnight!

CRIME DUDE! You have abandoned me! Instead there is a crazy woman who is trying to turn Harry into a dog, and Harry is all like, no thanks I don't want to be a dog, and the crazy turning-dudes-into-dogs lady is all like, don't be a resist-o-saurus Harry, and I'm like WHATEVER WHERE IS CRIME DUDE I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THESE OTHER SPOONTARDS!

In other news, I went to this cafe today and I had pancakes and bacon and eggs and maple syrup and it was DELICOUS. I did some other stuff too but it was just boring day-to-day things and if I was to write about it, it would be EVEN LESS FUN TO READ THAN THE DRESDEN FILES WITHOUT MARCONE, so I will spare you.

Man, I hate being poor. You know what I'm eating right now, as part of my celebratory "yay, you survived another week at the House of Gas and you haven't been fired or even shot anybody in the face!" meal? Couscous. That's right, fucking couscous. No take-out pizza for Froodle, oh no, because despite working a forty hour week in the belly of the hideous beast that is customer service, she's too poor to waste a whole fiver on delicious jalapeno-laden pizza. I mean, I suppose I could console myself with the thought that staying off the junk food will ensure I look even more fabulous than ever in this cute dress I saw at Rose and Co, but oh wait! I can't afford it anyway!

Fucking couscous. Seriously.

Oh, that is it, Supernatural. You and I are just not friends anymore. You can take your two hot Winchesters and Sam and your misleading rumours of homoerotic exploits and get out of my life for good, because I do not like it when I have nightmares when by rights I should be having dreams about monkeys or something else good!

Fortunatly for me, I am the kind of girl who always has one or two irons in the fandom-fire, so I shall console my grief over my breakup with Dean and John by watching the second season of the Wire. And oh my God, Omar is my hero. The tie! And somebody finally putting that piece of shit Levy in his place, hoorah! Personally I was holding out for Rhonda bludgeoning him with a briefcase, but getting smacked down in front of an entire courtroom was so much more awesome. He has inspired me to take up robbing drug dealers for a living. Now, if only I knew where to find a) a shotgun and b) some drug dealers. You may be suprised to learn this information is not listed in the Yellow Pages.

In other news, Rome. I'm not saying it wasn't enjoyable, I'm just saying that the entire show can be summed up as "Ickle Midshipman Blakeney grows up and fucks his sister. But not, apparently, his great-uncle." I do love the whole Pullo/Vorenus thing, though - especially where Vorenus pimps him out to Cleopatra. Even in Ye Olde Tymes, pimping your friends is always good for a laugh.

On a completely unrelated note, I think everyone here should read the Varjak Paw books. Because if there were two things I would say makde the world a better place, it would be more Kung-fu cats and less Will Ferrell. I hate Will Ferrell.

I do, however, still love the Tribe, and especially Bray who has won my heart with his incredible campness. That scene after he finds Spike floating in the hotel pool, and the other Mallrats are like, "Gasp! Ebony!" and he's all, "But don't you think if she had killed him, she'd be bragging about it? Like, 'Don't mess with me!'" and then he actually does the finger-snap head-toss thing like he's Foxxie Love or whatever and oh my God it is just the most hilarious thing ever and I love him.

Anyway, little space-monkeys, I have a box of pastries here that aren't going to eat themselves, and the second season of Battlestar Galactica is calling to me, so farewell!