...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

New John Connolly book, oh my God, the awesomeness! If you have not read it, you must do so at once or risk being eaten by sharks. Vampire sharks. Vampire zombie sharks. Wearing hats!

Also he is doing a signing in Borders this Friday FTW! Tune in that night to hear me squeeing and giggling and generally acting fangirly.

Also, those Charlaine Harris books are a bit lame, yet oddly compelling. I'm aware they're pretty much vampire bodice rippers, but I care not!

ETA: Oh my God, save me dudes! Papa Froodle wants us to go to the Great Yorkshire Argricultural Show today. He's just been on the website reading aloud details of such enticing activities as a "cattle parade" and a "pig of the year" competition. I mean, we're from the Isle of Man, you'd think that he'd had enough farming-related delights in his lifetime.

Oh, I almost forgot! Is there a secret rule somewhere that says that to be a good policeman/private detective/person who finds out stuff about people that people don't want people to know about, you have to have a drinking problem? I'm not talking about Ye Olde Detectives, obviously, but modern ones always seem to have a problem with alcohol. Jimmy McNulty, Charlie Parker, Sam Vimes... I'd like to see a crime story where the main SUPER DETECTIVE OF WONDERMENT had some other vice. Like, maybe he had to kick puppies constantly, and if there were no puppies for him to kick he got really angry and started muggling old ladies to steal their puppies and kick them, or pawning his wifes jewellery to pay for puppies to kick. Man, that would be awesome. Stupid puppies.

You know, I think John Connolly is some new kind of human where instead of being made from water and carbon, he is made from Pure Charmingness. Because, glee! He did booksigning here on Tuesday and I went and he was so charming and he remembered my name and signed my book and he was talking about... well, I don't really remember what he was talking about except that David Hasslehoff is annoying but ANYWAY it was totaly awesome and then I had to leave because I realised I was doing that weird thing where you laugh really loudly and fakely because you totally fancy someone and you think everything they say is ever so witty and humourous. Except that he is, so it was even more awesome, andandand SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Squee!

Anyway, some other stuff happened this week, but I don't remember it because JOHN CONNOLLY IS SO AWESOME and now I have to go meet my dad for coffee so GOOD DAY!

PS: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

God! Today was a stupid day. The bus was late and the entire system crashed at work and we ended up having to write out everything by hand, and my God, what part of "the system is down" gives people problems? I can't look you up on the fucking computer because. It. Is. Down. It's not my fault you're too fucking retarded to know the name of the person who manages your account, and the last time I checked, my ID card said Customer Service Advisor, not Babysitter For The Mentally Deficient.

On a more upbeat note, I'm watching the Wire and oh my God, Idris Elba is Teh Hotness. And he can do an American accent and have it be all non-cringeworthy and he's all evil with his glasses and pinstripe suit and he draws little cartoons and OH MY GOD HE MUST PLAY LOUIS OR I WILL KILL YOUNGLINGS AND FALL IN LAVA! You know, if they ever made a Charlie Parker movie. Which they probably shouldn't because often it is not a good thing when books of awesomeness become movies of... less-than-awesomeness.

On the subject of books that may or may not become movies, does anyone remember when Inkheart was published here and the cover was all, "Soon to be a major motion picture!"? Well, that was a couple of years ago and I do not see any motion pictures, major or otherwise. I did, however, catch the pitiful one-day-only screening of the Thief Lord; I'm a big believer in the idea that even a mediocre film looks better on the big screen, and being already familiar with the movie itself gave me a chance to really enjoy some of the beautiful scenery. And perve on Rollo Weeks, of course.

Squee! New John Connolly book out on 7th September! Extensive tour dates to coincide with the release date! Yet more opportunities for Froodle to make an idiot of herself in front of an attractive man!

Oh man, seriously, Francis Wolcott is such a complete dude. "Do you think this hat makes my head look big?" Hahah! If I ever become a mad geologist with bizarre sexual proclivities and a tendancy to let my temper run away with me? I want to be Wolcott. Except for the bit about getting the shit kicked out of me by Charlie, because, ouch. It's pretty impressive that in a show with as much strong language as Deadwood, they've managed to write Charlie so consistently that you sit up and gasp the first time he calls someone a cunt.

Also, David Tennant in a fluffy shirt? Totally squeeworthy. I have to say, he makes a much more convincing Casanova than Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger's pretty, but in that wholesome blonde Australian way that screams "puppyish enthusiasm" rather than "charm, wit and charisma", and all the eyeliner in the world isn't going to change that.

It's here, it's here, it's fucking here! Six days after Play emailed me to let me know it had been dispatched, I now hold in my hands the deliciously molesterable Rollo Weeks a copy of the Thief Lord movie. YES! Hot underage boylove is mine in both fullscreen and widescreen formats. Sadly, the deleted scenes failed to include a Scipio/Prosper snogfest, but I don't care, because I know it happened and that's all that matters.

I was wondering how they were going to handle the after-effects of the roundabout, and I gotta say, that thing with using the original actors voices as their child-selves was just retarded. Especially Barbarossa - even leaving aside the fact that that kid looked like the Anti-Christ (and not a cute Anti-Christ like Adam Young or Damien in the first two Omen movies), that voice would have made any sane person run for the hills. But then again, the movie!Esther and Max were fucking psychotic, so it's probably a fair match.

Speaking of Adam Young, Jasper Harris? Bang on the money. If they ever get around to making Good Omens into a film, dear God, let him be cast. He's such a cutie; that whole "You forgot something important; it's under my jumper... it's me!" made me want to hug him and feed him sugar cookies and let him play with William Bullock in the land of Kids Who Are Just Too Damn Cute For My Black Heart To Withstand. They can throw rocks at Jake Lloyd and that stupid kid from the BSG mini-series from where they sit in the ajoining land of Kids I Hate And Should Be Thrown Out Of Airlocks After Being Eaten By A Fucking Annoying Robodog. What the hell was going on with Bo hallucinating about those animals, though? Uh, Prop, I think someone's been slipping your kid brother LSD on the sly...

For some reason, Vanessa Redgrave - who is in the film for like, twenty seconds - is the only cast member named on the back of the case, presumably because it's better than writing "starring that dude who was in the Scarlet Pimpernel and a bunch of Hornblower alumni that you've probably never heard of unless you're a total nerd who whores for Jamie Bamber in breeches". But seriously, what the hell? Why not just write "cast of rising young stars", because I guaran-fucking-tee, we'll be hearing from Rollo Weeks again when I kidnap him for my own depraved purposes and his parents start a campaign to rescue their poor, sweet child from my clutches.

More to come later on meeting John Connolly, the second season of Deadwood, and why Dan Dority needs to marry me like right the hell now.

I swear to God, Dirk Benedict is the world's bounciest human being. It's like his feet are made from tiny trampolines. I still don't think he could take Katee Sackhoff in a fight, though.

My feet, however, are not made from tiny trampolines and are very sore from hauling massive bags filled with Lush joy back from the train station after going to the party in York. And now I have exactly zero monies, and fail at life. On the other hand, I did meet some shiny cool people and also, did I mention I possess bags of pure joy? And the second season of the A Team (which certain filthy Southerners who shall remain Snithy will not be getting to watch on account of them being dirty, dirty whores) and hot chocolate in Darth Vader's head.

So in fact, I win at life, and I'm going to have a bath and then watch Dirk Benedict being bouncey, and wonder who would win if he and John Connolly got into a fight for my hand in marriage.

Girly squee! John Connolly will be back in Leeds on March 8 for some kind of "event" in Ottokars. Said "event" had better involve him signing my books and possibly me taking along an interpreter in case I get overwhelmed by fangirlish glee and forget my own name. And yes, that actually has happened to be, although not in front of John Connolly who is awesome and charming and remains unruffled by fangirls who tend to twitch and blush and squirm whenever he looks at them.

In other, girly-squee-related news, I just finished watching that episode where Starbuck gets stranded on a planet filled with Irish people - or rather, people with brogues that would make both David Boreanaz and Oliver Stone weep with the agony of their fakeness - and everyone there is named after some sin committed by their ancestors, and everyone wants to know what kind of sin "Starbucking" is and all I can think of is that it sounds really, really dirty.

In the best possible way, of course.

Oh my God, they're making a Thief Lord movie. Or rather, they've already made it and it's coming to DVD on 14 March. Scip's mask looks brilliant and Bo is exactly how I imagined him in the book.

If you haven't read the Thief Lord already, and you're a fan of fantasy, I strongly recommend you do so. I am a huge fan of Cornelia Funke's translated work, and Thief Lord is my all-time favourite. This is the most awesome news since... some... other awesome news I had. Probably since the last time John Connolly did a booksigning in Leeds.

Ah, such an easily-led Froodle am I...

<td align="center">Fun is most important in your life.


Having a high focus on fun indicates that you value your own enjoyment over anything else. And there is nothing wrong with that. Your motto is we're here for a good time - not a long time.


Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

On the subject of fun and how much of it I'm not having at the moment, it's somewhat ironic that I took this course to avoid having to go out and work in the real world for another year, and could basically bum around being my lazyass self, and now I'm having to make way more effort than I would have if I was just, you know, a full-time phone monkey or coffee slinger or something.

Which I'll probably end up being in about eight months, with my four years of education, standing behind a counter in a clipon tie asking dolees and teen mothers if they would like fries with their Government-subsidized Happy Meals.

Le sigh.

On a lighter note, I am currently bopping along cheerily to my Christian Kane album, indulging my love of AltRockCountry (which is, as John Connolly puts it, "When your truck starts, your dog gets resurrected and your girlfriend comes back to you"). Oh, small town America. You bring me so much edutainment. Plus, you know, eventually one of these songs is going to get that fucking Foreverware ditty out of my head. The World o' Stuff jingle is funny; the Foreverware one is just annoying. Damn creepy freeziated 50's Stepford wives and their catchy songs.

I think I'm going to watch "Zombies in PJs" again and laugh about Dash being enraged when the Donald steals his pie and watch that abysmal advert the Donald puts together. There's just something about Marshall being forced to sing along and Dash dancing merrily in the background that fills me with a warm and fuzzy glow.