...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Oh come on! How can the third season of Miami Vice not be out yet? Losers. I am going to sulk if I cannot spent Christmas day watching the Homoerotic Interracial Adventures of Sonny and Rico. And by "sulk", I mean "watch Battlestar Galactica and get gleeful about how pretty Dirk Benedict is", naturally.

In other news, Secret Santas are the stupidest thing ever invented. Oooh, let's all exchange meaningless gifts with people we don't actually like, and in return, we too will get a cheap and thoughtless gift that will get banished to the bottom of the wardrobe the minute we get home! And when you say you're not going to do it, everyone looks at you like you just pistol-whipped Santa, cut him into pieces and then fed him to a bunch of doe-eyed orphans on Christmas day. Honestly, this sort of force-fed faux festive jollity just makes me want to stab everyone.

On a rather less ranty note, I am astounded and appalled by the revelation that Doctor Billy was that mean bowling alley guy in Bones who threw the superhero kid who was dying of cancer off a roof. Man, you suck, Doctor Billy. Even Lucas would have... okay, Lucas would have laughed and laughed, and laughed some more, and then built laser cannons for tiny hamsters. But still, I am glad Dave and Bones kicked your ass.

Also, someone had better tape the Hogfather for me. I mean it. Even if all I do is moan about how the guy from Hustle is totally not the right choice for playing Mister Teatime, I want a copy.

I'm still gutted by the discovery that Rollo Weeks played Mini-Gerard in Attila. Sometimes the IMDB is a curse, I tell you.

And now, it's time for fun with memes:

List six of your favourite shows

1. Firefly
2. BSG (new)
3. Kim Possible
4. Weekenders
5. Deadwood
6. BSG (original)

( Spoilers for Serenity and the second season of Deadwood )

I seen it! I seen it! I seen the episode of the A Team with Face and the Cylon! Now I can die happy.

In other news, I have determined that the reason I don't like Lorne Green!Adama as much as Edward James Olmos!Adama (aside from the fact that EJO was in Miami Vice, and everyone who was in Miami Vice is about a million times cooler than everyone who wasn't in Miami Vice) is because Edward James Olmos!Adama actually uses Starbuck for stuff rather than having this pilot who kind of floats around when not being used as a sidekick or having adventures that result directly from their own stupidity.

It's like, that whole Count Iblis thing? And Adama and Apollo are tooling around with Operation Too Complicated To Actually Work, and Apollo ends up getting his dumb ass shot by a spooky space-pig (for something made in the seventies, that scene actually did shit me right up, though I suspect it was because it gave me Lord of the Flies flashbacks), when any sensible person would have realised that the best way to deal with a guy who can read thoughts is to send someone who has absolutely no thoughts to read whatsoever. It would be awesome! Because they'd all be there in the War Room and whatever, and it would be like:

Count Iblis: *mindread*
Adama!thoughts: *Operation Too Complicated To Actually Work*
Count Iblis: *mindread*
Apollo!thoughts: *missing pilots* :(
Count Iblis: *mindread*
Starbuck: ......
Count Iblis: *mindread*
Starbuck: ......
Count Iblis: *mindread*
Starbuck: ......
Count Iblis: ...fuck.
Stupid Fucking Robodog: Yap!
Apollo!thoughts: *hate*

And then Count Iblis would decide that Starbuck had some kind of super-advanced mental abilities ("He's not stupid, he's advanced!") and that it was too dangerous to bother tooling around on the Galactica anymore, and he would leave but totally kill Sheba first, because she's annoying, and everyone would be pleased, especially me.

Vague attempt to do something other than sleep and cough sadly on my day off ended in ignomious defeat today after I dozed through three consecutive episodes of the A Team, waking up to various scenes that made even less sense than usual, including Face getting married to a nun, Amy putting explosives on hubcaps and Murdock being a horse rustler. Normally that stuff wouldn't phase me, but the fact that I slept through any explainations, however flimsy, made everything far too confusing for my cold-fuddled brain.

On plus side, I now feel quite a lot better, and am well enough once again to bitch and moan about Face's stupid ironed jeans and pastel sweaters. Pastels are the work of the Devil.

There are a lot of sins that can be forgiven simply by including Dirk Benedict in your show, but having an entire episode about a ship catching fire is a lot for even the Avatar of Bouncy to make up for. I mean, seriously, who thought that was a good idea? It's like, you're sitting there, it's Dirk, he's pretty, there's some evil robotic doom flying around, it's all good, and then:

"Oh noes, the Galactica is on fire! Curse you, Kamikaze Cylons!"
*ten minutes later*
"Wow, that sure is a bad fire..."
*ten more minutes later*
"I hate that fucking robodog. Oh look, more fire."
*ten more minutes later*
"Yup. That's fire alright."
*ten more minutes later*
"Oh God I don't care anymore, just evacuate the ship, throw everyone on the Rising Star out of the nearest airlock and commandeer it for yourselves. Admiral Cain would have wanted it this way."
*five minutes later*
"Huh? What? End credits? I must have dozed off. Oh well, time for some unicorns."

Also, what the hell was with Adama being all like, "Put your best people on this, Tigh"? Like Tigh is really sitting there going, "Oh hey, our ship is totally on fire, and if we all die the entire Fleet is shit out of luck... I think I'll entrust this misson to some random space-hobos I just found!" Shut up, Lorne Green. You're just not as awesome as Edward James Olmos.

I swear to God, Dirk Benedict is the world's bounciest human being. It's like his feet are made from tiny trampolines. I still don't think he could take Katee Sackhoff in a fight, though.

My feet, however, are not made from tiny trampolines and are very sore from hauling massive bags filled with Lush joy back from the train station after going to the party in York. And now I have exactly zero monies, and fail at life. On the other hand, I did meet some shiny cool people and also, did I mention I possess bags of pure joy? And the second season of the A Team (which certain filthy Southerners who shall remain Snithy will not be getting to watch on account of them being dirty, dirty whores) and hot chocolate in Darth Vader's head.

So in fact, I win at life, and I'm going to have a bath and then watch Dirk Benedict being bouncey, and wonder who would win if he and John Connolly got into a fight for my hand in marriage.