...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

In this latest installment of Froodle's Adventures in Jurisprudence, I learned that Dworkin created a kind of super-judge, with unlimited time, resources and knowledge, to be the Ultimate Force in Judgehood. His name was Hercules.

Yeah. Seriously.

Rest of the lecture was spent fantasing about the adventures of Super Judge, as, muscles bulging from beneath form-fitting spandex, cape blowing attractively in a non-existant breeze, coiffed judgin' wig perched atop his ruggedly handsome visage, he travels the country, righting legal wrongs and beating the crap out of Lord Denning. Man, that would be so cool. I'm totally putting Super Judge in my movie.

We have a new Evidence lecturer. He hypnotised me with his checked pink and white shirt and blue tie with pink polka dots. He started talking about brown shoes and all I could think of was James D'Arcy in "Case of Evil" where he goes all fashion critic on Token Love Interest. Silly James D'Arcy. His power is to make time move at an incredibly slow rate. I know this not only because the previous century went by faster than his one-hour lecture, but because Steve's dictaphone got all fucked up and only recorded 25 minutes. Take heed! The dictaphone warns us!

About the lecturer, not James D'Arcy.

SCANDALACIOUS!

Why is there no Nicolas/Smike slash out there, ready to display itself in wanton poses at my very feet? I am disgusted with the whole world.

I've also decided to make my own film. It'll be called Space Pope: Defender of the Faith and in it, the Pope will fly around in a Space Helmet fighting Space Sin. The part of the Pope will be played by some old guy for the first few minutes, then, after Space Captain Jack (played by Russel Crowe, or, if he's not available, Stellen Skarsgård) rejuvinates him with the power of Space Magic, James D'Arcy.

Space Pope will also have two sidekicks, one a snarky Italian with long blonde hair, played by Craig Parker, the other a manly stubbled sort, possibly with a Scottish accent, probably played by an unknown. And yes, they will be working for a Sooper Sekrit Vatican Organisation. Unfortunatly, they'll be killed by a jiggly Space Nazi called Piggysaurus approximately ten minutes into the film. Fortunatly, Craig Parker will still show up throughout the film as a Space Ghost to snark at James D'Arcy and generally be smexsome, because unlike Peter Jackson, I am not a cruel Haldir-killing whore.

I'm not sure what happens after that, but I know it involves James D'Arcy and Colin Farrel having le fun du nekkid in the shower. Dominic Monaghan and Paul Bettany shall probably also be involved, although not necessarily all at the same time, and naturally there needs to be a Space Captain Jack versus Knavishly Uncool Mitten-Wearing Twat Hornblower sequence in there somewhere. Major Edrington survives, because he's Sam West and I like him. Archie dies, because that is the curse of Jamie Bamber.