...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Aww man, Rollo Weeks was in the Little Vampire. Now I really am going to kill myself. Or maybe go back in time and stop him from starring in shitty movies that I watched because I had a crush on various leading actors (Richard E. Grant, you freaks, not that stupid little brat from Jerry Maguire). But then it would be like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer keeps going back in time and changing the course of history in unexpected and disturbing ways, and when I got back to 2006, Scipio would be played by Daniel Radcliffe and Jake Lloyd would be playing Bo, and I'd be like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and Hayden Christensen would cry because everyone gets to say that line except him. You want some ointment for that burn, Hayden Christensen?

In other news, whenever I hear that Darren Hayes song, "Creeping Up On You", it totally reminds me of Pietro and Sp-ke from X-Men: Evolution. I'm not sure when Sp-ke made the transition from "annoying X Tard with lame powers, stupid hair and stupider name" to "stalker", but there you go. Man, I love that show. I wish the WB had released all of it on DVD - I want to see Lance randomly bitchslapping Pietro with an armchair and Pyro watching that video of Magneto bite it over and over while giggling psychotically and that old guy glomping Toad in the subway again. Sigh. I bet it'll be like Gargoyles or EI and it'll get released when I'm like, forty, and I'll be all, "I remember when this first aired" and my many cats will be like, "Whatever. Feed us tuna now plzkthx."

Continuing with my time-travel ponderings, I'd also go and see an Adam Ant concert or three.

Watching the second series of 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' with Richard E. Grant. Sniff. Poor Percy.

Don't like it as much as the first series, due to lack of naked Jamie Bamber, small boys singing about guillotines, Marguerite, that one French dude , and...

Okay, to put it another way, the only good things about this series are:

1. Richard E. Grant
2. Robespierre

Yeah, that's it.

Also, the kid that played Jack in 'The Last Vampyre' was the Comte de Claris de Florian in 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' and Peter in the same version of 'Voyage of the Dawntreader' that had Sam West play Caspian.

You know, this might be why I can't remember any cases or statutes for my exams - my brain-attic is full of useless movie-related trivia.

If you could travel back in time, what would you do?

Aside from blasting Chinky Chinkerton with a laser gun when she asked me to work on the EU project with her, I'd like to travel back in time to when it was socailly acceptable to own a haram of boys. Ancient Rome or something. Maybe Greece or Venice. Wherever people were big with the boy-molestin'. And I'd warn myself not to watch Queen of the Damned, and not to cling to some foolish hope that it might not be as shitty as it looked.

Amassing an army of dinosaurs would be pretty cool, too. I could rule the world with them.

Oh, and I'd castrate Graham Norton's parents. Or maybe just kill them. And destroy their bodies, to prevent any chance of cloning.