(no subject)

[froodle]

I swear to God, Dirk Benedict is the world's bounciest human being. It's like his feet are made from tiny trampolines. I still don't think he could take Katee Sackhoff in a fight, though.

My feet, however, are not made from tiny trampolines and are very sore from hauling massive bags filled with Lush joy back from the train station after going to the party in York. And now I have exactly zero monies, and fail at life. On the other hand, I did meet some shiny cool people and also, did I mention I possess bags of pure joy? And the second season of the A Team (which certain filthy Southerners who shall remain Snithy will not be getting to watch on account of them being dirty, dirty whores) and hot chocolate in Darth Vader's head.

So in fact, I win at life, and I'm going to have a bath and then watch Dirk Benedict being bouncey, and wonder who would win if he and John Connolly got into a fight for my hand in marriage.

Comments

[imbeiaiel.livejournal.com]

John Connolly v Dirk Benedict? Difficult. Any more thoughts on who you'd choose? :)

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

JC would win. there is no competition.
unless of course the competition was girly hair pulling in which case dirk benedict is King. (and totally kelso's daddy)

[froodle]

You underestimate Dirk Benedict's mastery of the girly fighting tactics. Not only is he a Black Belt hair-puller, he's also very good at scratching and eye-gouging.

But in the end, yeah, John Connolly would totally make Dirk his bitch.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

dirk: *squeak*








.... *bounce*

[froodle]

I find your glee at that prospect... disturbing.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

it was Dirk bouncing, not I!
and this whole mistake wouldnt have happened if you knew how to Read.
too busy skippin' school an gettin' pregant an wearin' big ole gold earings. That's Right. You're the crazy disturbing one here!

[froodle]

It was you. The line breaks totally indicate a change of speaker. If it was Dirk, it would have looked like this:

dirk: *squeak*
dirk: ...
dirk: .....
dirk: .......
dirk: *bounce*

Besides, everyone knows that Dirk Benedict is totally Richard Hatch's bitch. FOREVER!

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

oh pfftcha, those extra "dirk: ..."s would have ruined the shock element of my cunningly crafted words.
REAVERS FOR YOU,
in your house, chewing thoughtfully on mister teatime.

[froodle]

Mister Teatime: *sadcries*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

bu: *in the it's called a lance voice* it's called Grooming.

[froodle]

Damn it, Bu! Have you been in cahoots with the guinea-Reavers all along?

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

im sure he wouldnt.. hasnt.. isnt in cahoots with those Awful Nasty reaver types.

...*waits patiently for bu to explode leaving only a gir or reaver behind*

....


oh no. your guineapig has not exploded. Woe!

[froodle]

Bu: *stare* *stare* *stare* *waddles past on cute ickle guineafeets*

[froodle]

Well, in a straight-up, winner takes Froodle fist-fight, John Connolly would totally win, as he's Irish and the Irish are known to be scrappers. But in terms of who I would actually marry, it would probably be Dirk, as if I was married to John Connolly I would constantly want to know what he was writing, and he's be all like, "Let's go and have sex," and I'd be like, "Finish your damn book OMG I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!" and then we'd have to get divorced and it would all be very traumatic and sad and besides, I think he's a dog person and I definatly prefer cats.

[imbeiaiel.livejournal.com]

So, Dirk would be victorious! I like :). It would be a bit off-putting for John to have you constantly asking him about plot developments but just think of the editorial control - you'd never have that problem when you read a book by one of your favourite authors and it's rubbish. It'll all be "ha! Told you so!"

[froodle]

Well, he really wins by default. John and I would have the great epic romance, the forbidden love that could never go anywhere. Basically like Angel and Buffy, but with less vampires and neither of us shagging Riley.

Oh no, it would be terrible for everyone concerned. He'd be all like, "Read this draft", and I'd be like, "Needs more Angel and Louis", and he'd be like, "But it's set fifty hundred years in the future. In space. And all the characters are dinosaurs!" and I'd be like "I DON'T CARE I WANT GAY REPUBLICAN HITMEN OMG FLAIL!" and he'd be like, "I'm going to the pub, you crazy bitch!" and I'd be like, "Fine, I shall cheat on you with my childhood sweetheart, aka Dirk Benedict" and it would all get very messy and then we'd have a custody battle over the plasma screen television.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

the plasma screen must decide for itself!!
what cruel fate being fought over with no input. and anyway a john connolly book with gay republican mormons and dinosaurs set fifty hundred years in the future would be fucking AWESOME. cause it's like, space and angel and louis who are cool, right, and and Wheee!!! the future!

i think it needs to have evil space guineapig-reavers. EVIL!

[froodle]

And the court would totally decide that I'm not fit to own a plasma screen on account of my sexual relations with every Dirk Benedict who looks my way, even though John totally cheated on me, but that's okay because that's just a man being a man, whereas if a woman strays from the marital fold, it makes her a slut who wants only crystal-clear picture transfer, excellent sound quality and the occaisonal good deep-dicking from 80's TV stars.

Louis isn't a Mormon, he's an assasin. Do not go confusing Louis with Raoul. That's killin' talk. Also it makes me imagine Raoul as a homie and then I feel dead inside.

Oh man, and the guinea-Reavers would be all, "RARGH WE SCARY!", and Louis would be like "what the fuck..." *shoot* and then he would be mad because he got guinea-Reaver blood on his snazzy Space Clothes and everyone else would be like, you so cool, Louis.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

*pointlaugh* you used the word snazzy!

not only is it totally and sadly outdated but you stole it from Me!
theeeeeif.

also, what if john cheated on you with dirk benedict and at the same time saved the entire planet from guinea-reavers and louis was like, hey man look! someone just left an entire new warddraboe around with new clothes in it for me and angel was all, Noooo dont open it Nooooooooooo, and louis just kept yelling about his robot bee, then opened it and the world turned into unicorns

... i got confused ...

[froodle]

Snazzy is an awesome word, which is precisely why it is not used by you, because you suck like Daniel Jackson. Early!Daniel Jackson, no less. Complete with stupid Gay Archeologist Bandana and Blinks of Non-Actingness.

I could not find it in my heart to blame anyone who cheated on anyone with Dirk Benedict. Only a deviant toaster-fucker could hope to withstand his pretty prettiness. But John Connolly could totally not take guinea-Reavers; they are far too sneaky to be defeated by an Irishman.

Oh my God, now I can't stop thinking about Louis yelling about his robot bee! Like, he'd be facing down some evil religious dudes, and they'd be all like, *racial abuse* and he'd be like, "You're after my robot bee!" and they'd be like, WTF? and then Bird or Angel would be like, *concealed shootykill!*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

racial abuse? pfft, louis is such a white-french-king's name.
and john conolly could Totally take on guinea-reavers. Totally! he comes up with plots right, so he could totally come up with a plot to defeat them.

[froodle]

Louis is the King, alright. King of the Black Gay Republican Hitmen, that is!

Oh please, the Irish can;t even kick the English out of their country, how the fuck are they going to combat guinea-Reavers?

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

oh Pfft. ireland was built out of guns.
and guinereavers just have claws and teeth and oh God they're scary,

[froodle]

Ireland was built out of potatoes and leprechauns and strong spirits. Everyone knows that, except for smelly girl-voiced Hexbeasts.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

are you saying the IRA and assosiated enemies are made out of leprechaun?