...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Still watching Firefly.

You know, I was all set to hate River. I mean, first of all she's played by Summer Glau, and while I have nothing against her generally, she was in that really stupid episode of Angel with the ballet and the lovetriangle of Extreme Dullness, and is thus tainted by association. Secondly, as I believe I've already mentioned, we already Did the whole crazy-but-super-smart-girl thing with Fred, and I'm not even going to start about how much I hate Fred because I'll be here all night.

So, guess who cried like a bitch during "Safe" and "Ariel"?

Yeah, that would be me.

I was welling up during the scene in Safe where she comes across the villagers dancing and joins in. She's twirling and smiling and she looks so graceful and happy, and Simon's watching her, and it's really the first time you get a glimpse of what she must have been like before the Academy, and what Simon must see every time he looks at her. And then later on at the settlement, during the conversation where she tells Simon "You gave up everything you had to find me, and you found me broken. You think I don't understand, but I do," and insists that she'll get better, my heart was breaking for both of them. And finally, the scene where the hillfolk are going to burn her at the stake, and Simon climbs up onto the pyre, puts his arms around her and says "Light it", I actually started to cry.

Watching Simon inject her at the start of Ariel was fairly heart-rending, but worse was the scene inside the imaging suite, where Simon finally discovers what was done to her in the Academy, and his voice sounds like it's about to crack as he describes it to Jayne. Also that last scene where he asks her if she knows what the injection is for, and she says it's time to go to sleep, and he says "No, Mei-Mei. It's time to wake up" and she gives him this wan smile, and I burst into tears.

I'm such a damn wuss.

Comedic moments included Mal's defeat of the utterly detestable Averton Wing ("Mercy is the mark of a great man. *stab* I guess I'm just a good man. *stab* Well, I'm alright."); Jayne mock-reading Simon's diary ("Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. *turns page* Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever!") and Badger's impromptu tea party ("The secret is wood alcohol."). Also, was I the only one suprised that Jayne would know a word like "pretentious"? I'm just sayin'.

Also, Mal totally didn't know that Jayne tipped off the Feds on Ariel. He was just mad because Simon was making puppy-dog eyes at someone who wasn't him. Because seriously, Simon was about three seconds away from jumping Jayne right there in the cargo bay. "He was amazing, I can't even begin to tell you..." Bless. I really wanted him to give Simon a tattoo. Or at least draw a moustache on him or something.

Jaynestown is the absolute highlight of the series. The Ballad of Jayne, Simon's drunken ramblings ("To Jayne, the box-dropping man-ape-gone-wrong thing!") and... okay actually, just any scene involving Simon or Jayne. They're adorable all the way through that episode. "I mighta made me a few enemies..."/"You? No! How can that be?!" Heh.

Am begining to think that Mutant Enemy has some kind of deal going on where they collect the villians that Keifer has already defeated on 24. So far, I've spotted one creepy blue-gloved bloke, one Mudder who gets shot in the chest and one corpse-hunting leather coat-wearing guy who gets his jollies by setting people on fire. Not that I'm judging because hey, who doesn't?

And finally, can we have a big "No Need!" for the thingie that makes peoples brains explode through their eyes and nostrils? Because seriously, Ew. That was actually more frightening than the Reavers, and they unnerved me to the point where I had to have the hall light on for a couple of nights. *shivers*

An interesting bit of Van Helsing-related news here. Personally I prefer Van Helsing/Carlimir to Van Helsing/Dracula, but never mind.

In Angel-related news, have just seen the episode where Holtz takes baby Connor dimension-hopping. Thank God. Also, Angel trying to smother Wesley with a pillow is hilarious. Just can't take David Boreanaz seriously at all in that scene.

Still hate Fred.

Am also wondering if it was intentional that the creepy little girl Angel and Lilah meet in the White Room looks like a younger version of Eve.

Just started watching the third season of Angel, and am starting to understand why it's been gathering dust for the last year:

Connor.

Specifically, baby!Connor. I hate babies. I hate the way adults act around babies. I hate it when babies cry. I hate pretty much everything baby-related.

Generally speaking, spent most of the post-birth episodes wishing Darla was still around so that she could snap the little shit's neck. And bitchslap some sense into the cooing, gibbering morons who appear to have replaced Team Angel.

Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to bring a baby into the show?

Also, I still hate Fred. "Personally, I don't care at all," shut up Fred!.

On the plus side, 'Birthday' is still brilliant (I love 'Cordy'), the scenes with Cordy and Lilah in 'Billy' are fantastic (Poor Wes, though!) and Carpe Noctum is equal parts disturbing and hilarious:

Marcus-as-Angel: So I'm a... *looks down at his outfit* Obviously.

Poor Angel. Even old men who steal his body think he's gay.

Also: Angel in leather pants. Always good.

Spike and Angel's Big Gay Roman Adventure rocks. There's no other way to put it. So much goodness.

The cookie dough rant. The slow-motion fight accompanied by Dean Martin songs. The moped. The argument in the elevator. Andrew. Gypsies. The Italian Wolfram and Hart. Spit humour. Bombs. Spike's coat.

And the dialogue. Don't get me wrong, nobody will ever replace Cordy and Xander in terms of 'hilariously quotable one-liners', but there were some gems here:

"You are the very definition of handsome. You take my breath away. I have no breath!"

"The Gypsies, they are filthy people. [spits] We will speak of them no more!"

"They give you bomb? Oh, they always do that to first-timers in this country."

"Is Angel crying?"
"No! [pause] Not yet!"

"I part my threshold to you. By which I mean, my doorway. Obviously."

"Unless the Immortal kills you. Which would be sad."
"He's not going to kill me."
"Not if I'm with you."

"Hop on, little momma."
"I'm not riding on the back!"

"I was confused, you git! It's very loud in here!"

"Son of a bitch!"

"Oh look, the Americans are using violence to solve their problems. What a suprise."

"Wait a minute, I wasn't in Italy in the 1950's."
"Oh, guess not. You really missed out."

"Concurrently?!"
"You never let us do that!"

"Those were my nuns!"

"Is there anything under 'Blood Vengance'?"

Le sigh. I'm going to miss this show.

Oh, and I know a lot of people had issues about Team Angel not telling the Burkles about Fred, but, in the words of Holland Manners, "I just can't seem to care."

Am listening to James D'Arcy read 'The Statement' on audio CD. His voice is most sexful, but as for the story itself, I find it hard to believe that the Catholic church would go to such efforts to hide a war criminal. After all, that's time that could be spent raping little boys.

Note: priests rape, pirates molest. It's an important distinction.

In other news, Angel was very boring tonight. Wesley, blah-blah, Fred, blah-blah, Gun got stabbed, some other stuff happened. Some very minor Angel/Spike moments (yes, Vernon, Angel/Spike, not the other way around, now be told) but all in all, a waste of my time.

New word:

Holmesexual. Meaning 'one of indeterminate sexuality who also has damn sexy hands'.

Proof that Jonathan and I having three-week arguments over fictional characters is indeed good for something.

In other news, Angel and Spike were being most homoerotic last night. Shame Fred and Wes had to spoil everything by, you know, being in the episode. Some people have no consideration.

And Lorne punched Eve. And Spike and Angel were all, "Go Lorne!" So was I, in fact.