...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Whelp, nothing interesting happened today, so it's time for that old fallback plan, Anecdotes of the Family Von Froodle.

Some of you may already know that I suffer from what Ranma 1/2 fans call "Azusa Complex", the desire to name any inanimate objects in my possession. That's why you sometimes hear me talking about the state of Sanzo's hardrive or Yukimura's inability to perform - it just means my computer's being a bitch and my CD player is misbehaving.

So, I've just got back from uni and I'm getting changed and taking all my jewellery off in preparation for cooking dinner. Buzz and I are in my room, discussing the difficulties I'm having running Sims 2 on Sanzo. I jokingly suggest giving him a cigerrette to improve his tember. Buzz suggests naming another piece of hardware Homura, connecting them up and leaving them to "extract data" for a while. I say that I can't do that, because all my hardware has names. I then introduce them all: the scanner is called Hakkai, the printer is Gojyo, the modem is Goku, the two speakers are Merry and Pippin and the subwoofer is Boromir. At which point Buzz glances at the pile of abandoned jewellery sitting on top of the speaker system, snaps "Boromir!" reprovingly, before gathering up my rings and bracelets and moving them to the other side of the desk.

Aha, sneaked in one minute before midnight. Do I rule or what?

Finally got around to watching Samurai Deeper Kyo dvds I've had since January - was initially put off because Kyoshiro reminded me a bit too much of Carrot from Sorcerer Hunters. Luckily for me, Demon Eyes Kyo takes over his body fairly quickly and runs around being badass for much of the series.

(Note: Froodle has only seen up to episode 18; anyone who tells her what happens in the last two volumes will be hunted down like a rabid dog)

Generally, would be much improved by getting rid of the Kenyo/Kanyo/big stupid monsters with big stupid monster voices and just having Kyo fight regular human baddies. Well, not regular exactly, but not big stupid monsters. Almost had a heart attack at one point in the series:

Random big stupid monster: Grr! Little gay general bloke! You are very powerful! Are you a Kanyo?
Me: Nooooooooooooooooo!
Little gay general bloke: No, I am too cool and pretty.
Me: Phew.

That bloke with one red and one blue eye (Miguel? Migelia?) sounds like Antonio Banderas. When he introduced himself, part of me was expecting "I am PUSS! ... in boots."

Akira is a pervy Kyo fanboy. He's well going to molest Kyo's body if Kyo doesn't get it back. Was pissing myself during that bit where he finds Kyo's body in the ice and is all, "My Lord Kyo... *rubrubgrind*" and Yuya is like, *disturbed face*.

Kyo looks like Garv from Slayers Try. Seriously. I think it's the hair.

Speaking of which, have just realised that the woman who does Yuya's voice is the same woman who played Amelia in Slayers and Ash in Pokemon. I knew there was a reason she pissed me off.

Kyo/Kyoshiro is played by the guy who was Mikage - aka the older of the two little gay dead boys in the basement - in Utena. That makes me laugh.

Kyo!Kyoshiro looks like OVA Kenshin, only not as ugly.

DVDs as a whole could do with some liner notes. I likes me liner notes. They make me feel all knowledgable. There are some funny moments in the outtakes, mixed in with the usual line-flubbing. personal favourites:

Sasuke: I recognise those nuts!

Yuya: Is what that woman says true? Did you really kill her sister?
Kyo: Whiny bitch has gotta blame someone. Oops, that's not what he says...

Still, nothing comes close to the outtakes on the first Orphen dvds:

David Matranga (as Orphen): Oh, shut up, Hilary. You're just jealous because I'm the fucking lead in this show and you're a sexually ambiguous troll!
Spike Spencer (as Majik): Don't get too full of yourself, Matranga. Remember, I was Shinji, the lead in Evangelion.
DM: Just like you Spike, living in the past.

Matranga-as-Orphen: *hysterical wailing and sobbing during what is supposed to be a "single manly tear" scene*
Spike-as-Majik: Good god, get a grip David. You're such a ham.
Matranga-as-Orphen: *more wailing*
Spike-as-Majik: Just because the show is named after you doesn't mean it's a soliloquy. Shelley and I get just as much fanmail as you!
Shelley Calene-Black-as-Cleo: Mmm-hmm.

Random bloke: And only one person came to Cape Day and they... spontaneously combusted! *cries*
Orphen: I wish I had been invited to Cape Day.

Majik: Mathter, Mathter, don't, no don't you do it, that man saved us, me and Cleo both, we think he'th a thweetie!

Leki (little blue magical puppy thing that follows Cleo around): I hate this fucking kid. Get in the fucking pot! *jumps on kid's head* Grr!

Leki: I'm going to eat you.

Leki: White trash bitch.

Stephanie *in deep man's voice*: Easy there, David. I'm just... not that kind of girl.
Matranga: You know, Karen does a much better job in this role.

Spike-as-Majik: I can't do this any more! The fans say you change the script too much! You're evil! *runs away crying*
Cleo: He's right!
Spooky wizard bloke: I know the script is different from the original, but Orphen was being groomed for TV! There's no lesbian subtext in Sailor Moon anymore, no blood or booze in Outlaw Star... listen, I'll make it up to you. From now on every disc will have five episodes instead of three, and they'll all stick closer to the original script! Rarr!
Matranga-as-Orphen: Okay, so we're going to stick closer to the translation. Just don't make me say those stupid spells, alright? The only one who can pull that off is Helen Mirran in Excaliber.
Stephanie-in-spooky-wizard-bloke's-voice: I know, David, but they do sound good in Japanese.
Matranga-as-Orphen: They can watch the subtitled version. That's what it's there for.

(I guess he got over his spell-hatred, since he manages Sanzo's incantations in Saiyuki)

Also: Sasuke is Hakkai. Regular Hakkai, not Surfer Hakkai, but it's still too much Hakkai for my liking.

On the subject of Hakkai, how much is Akabane/Dr Jackal from Get Backers the bastard offspring of him and Alucard from Hellsing? You know it's true.

Need to get me those last 2 volumes of SDK. Sigh... so much anime, so little cash.

Man, I'm a dork.

Watched the last volume of Saiyuki today. Couldn't stop laughing when Kougaji and the rest of Team Loser showed up to fight Homura and company. Imagine Sanzo would have had himself a good laugh too, if he hadn't been chained to a wall.

Jonathan quite offended by the fact that we kept calling Kougaji "Evil Jonathan", claimed it was a slur on his prowess as an evil villian. Which it probably is, although we christened Kougaji before we knew he sucked, so slur unintentional and based mostly on appearance.

Hakkai annoying as ever. If I was the Noodle Guy, I would have deliberatly gotten myself killed just to escape Hakkai's annoying voice.

Poor sad Homura. He looked really skinny at the end. Think the big cloak and Jason Douglas's voice gave false impression of studliness. Cried when he died. Shall miss you, Homura, you skinny Prince of War.

Unbelievable that Team Loser survived. Also, where did they relocate after Homura took over their castle with his studly cloak-wearing powers? Can't imagine Kougaji's dad is an easy burden to lift.

Glad Nii is still around. Wonder if Reload will have Barcoded!Badass!Kougaji? He'll still suck, but less whining.

Speaking of Reload, company that picked it up are the same ones who did L/R. Wonder if dub will go down a similar fake-British route? Nothing can be worse than Surfer!Hakkai, and can sort of imagine him with Jack's voice, but will cry if Gojyo has Rowe's voice actor: "Cor blimey guv'nor, Goku's eaten me blinkin' tucker!"

*shudder*

La!

Had absolutely massive anime haul arrive today - spent all day lying on the sofa watching Gravitation (how much is Yuki just Sanzo from Saiyuki with a haircut and wearing trousers?); Wolf's Rain (and yes, "Stray" is just as bad as I remember it, and Bondage Wolf is still as stupidly dressed); and Gungrave (they killed Spike! Also, Brandon speaks!), not to mention brand spanking new Witch Hunter Robin (Fluffy broke his leg, oh no!) and Saiyuki (I want Homura's little Godbabies).

The English dub of Wolf's Rain weirds me out, mostly because of the cast of the four main characters: Bondage Wolf is played by Crispin Freeman (Alucard from Hellsing, Zelgadis from Slayers, Amon from Witch Hunter Robin and Touga from Utena, among other things); Main Wolf is played by Johnny Young Bosch (Vash from Trigun, Fluffy from Witch Hunter Robin); Shiny is played by Mona Marshall (Izzy from Digimon, weird little kid Vash meets on the sandsteamer from Trigun) and Fluffy is played by the guy who did the voice for Tai in Digimon and angry vengance kid (TM) that Kenshin and Saitou meet in Kenshin (you know, the one that Saitou sends to live with his wife).

Stray, the opening theme, is as I've said, awful. Imagine Brian Adams singing a song in English written by a Japanese person. That level of badness. Have had it stuck in my head all day.

Gravitation is great, but only has three episodes on the DVD, which annoys me. There's nobody I recognise on the voice cast, which is a welcome change, although personally I think Yuki's voice is too deep. Then again, I was kind of hoping David Matranga would be cast. Casted. Castified. Whatever. Hatre is still cool. Ryuuichi still makes me laugh. Can't wait for the introduction of Yuki's crazy stalker-tastic brother.

Gungrave is fairly spiffy, if you can get past the first episode, which basically plays like twenty minutes lifted straight from the game. I'm still upset about Spike being killed. I really love the characterisation on Harry, though to be honest, I find Brandon's taciturn act slightly annoying - there's nothing wrong with being quiet, but the guy bloody well mimes in some scenes!

Witch Hunter Robin just gets better and better - loved the scene with the infiltration of the STNJ (Poor Fluffy! Did I mention he broke his leg?) and how Miho is trying to pick up the slack since Amon has gone AWOL. Micheal's still great, despite mullet-licious tendancies. The Chief, aka Hitler, gets some much-needed character development this time around, helping the Hunters piece together what's happened to Robin and Amon, instead of just bitching about them. Doujima still annoys me, though.

Also, we get to meet a new character, Nagira, who looks to be very, very interesting - a mysteeeeerrrious connection to Amon's past, and outspoken opposition of the STNJ's treatment of witches and seeds. I hope he doesn't die.

Saiyuki pretty much continues as it alwaus has - Hakkai still annoys me, Homura still rocks my world - I love Jason Douglas - Sanzo is still grumpy (in a cool way) and Kougaji is still useless. Poor Kougaji.