...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Why does the world want to hurt me? Why are people always doing things that annoy me, like existing when I want them to be dead? What is it with stupid people and their whole having to be alive thing? I call that selfish.

To clarify, there is an idiot on my course who is quite possibly the most annoying human being on the face of the planet. For the sake of anonymity, I shall call him... Shitcock. In less than a month, Shitcock has managed to annoy me to a point that took La FLobadora two years to reach. More than David Blaine when he did that stupid glass box thing, even. Everything he does fills me with such a horrible rage, it can only be properly expressed by slaughtering some children and falling into some lava. If my life was a Star Wars movie, he would be Jar Jar.

Now I'm going to eat some chocolate buttons and watch movies with Colin Farrell in. Lookit the ickle monkey hand!

I swear, that spider is trying to embarrass me. It's playing mind-games with me, lurking in odd corners and skittering past when my back is turned, so I just see it out of the corner of my eye. I'm too paranoid to do my washing up, and my damn pie is still in the fridge.

I hate you, spider.

I bet it's on a mission from David Blaine.

You know, I don't think I'm an especially bad person. I mean, sure, I could probably stand to spend more time studying and less time reading slashy fanfiction, and I'm sure it's not very moral of me to use my parent's credit cards to buy myself things from Amazon and blame it on my brothers, but still, I do my part to make the world a better place. I sneer at hippies, I mock wiccans, I kick the homeless and glare at small children. I wish a thousand deaths on telemarketers and teen mothers, and my contempt for people on the dole knows no limitations. I don't watch reality TV or chatshows. All in all, I think I tip the balance on the side of Good.

So why does the world take such delight in watching me suffer?

Seriously, I think there's a conspiracy going on to annoy me. First, there's the total lack of good Van Helsing toys. Then there's Orlando Bloom's continuing existance. And finally, as of a week Monday, Fox Kids will no longer be showing Big Wolf on Campus.

You know who I blame? David Blaine. I hate that bastard. It's all his fault.

Watched the Richard Roxburgh version of Hound of the Baskervilles this evening, despite Jonathan's dire warnings that doing so would cause my head to explode/give me cancer/result in millions of David Blaine clones.

It wasn't that bad, once I got passed the whole 'Dude, that's Dracula...' thing with Roxburgh. The deep shock came near the end of the film, with the sudden realisation that Ian Hart, who plays Watson, is Quirrel from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Which wasn't as disturbing as the Moriarty/Homer Simpson thing, but did have the effect of throwing the entire film off-kilter.

(Incidentally, have decided that if the ACD characters were characters in the Simpsons, Watson would totally be Marge. Unless it's the Nigel Bruce version of Watson, in which case, he'd be Milhouse.)

Also: Richard E. Grant. In another Holmes film. And somehow, not playing Sherlock. How does this keep happening?

The CGI on the Hound was bad. Really bad. Like, worse than Underworld.

Watson was very... unWatsony. In a non-Sherlock Holmes film, I would have adored his character, but here it was just odd. Very odd.

Other than that, mildly entertaining, and yay for homoerotic bathing scenes, which as we all know, the world needs more of - I'm looking at you, Lord of the Rings.