froodle | Entries tagged with awesome shoes

New Cal Leandros book is here, I have a picture of Colin Farrell wearing a hat and therefore implicitly ruling all the Irish wizards, and my shoes are pink and have ghosts on them. Basically, life is pretty awesome right now.

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Apparently you can buy girl versions of the Captain America uniform. Because, I dunno, the original isnt effeminate enough? I am seriously tempted by the boots, though. I would wear them for every day, an if anyone was like, oh hey, are you wearing a stripper version of Captain America's boots? I'd be like, what do you mean, version?!

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PAYDAY! It's pretty obvious that I should use this money to either pay off some of my credit card debt or buy a Hoover. It's also pretty obvious that I'm going to spend it on shoes instead. If you see me selling myself on the streets next month, please be generous and buy a blowjob for yourself and your friends.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.
So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!
Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*
OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!
Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!
I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!
I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.
It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!
Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!

*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.

I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.
So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!
Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*
OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!
Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!
I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!
I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.
It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!
Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!

*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.

Fucking hell, you guys! I wore my awesome kittehshooz out for the first time last night, and I swear to God, I only walked about half a mile the whole evening, and my feet are completely made from pain. Clearly, my only option is to sign up as a Sith Lord in Training long enough to get on the healthcare plan, then persuade them to cut off my feet and replace them with robofeet, so that I may wear beautiful shoes without being crippled with agony for days afterwards. Awesome plan!

On a totally different note, somebody please find me a tutorial that's like, "How To Make Music Videos When You Are Terminally Retarded". Please! This shit is harder than ~~Harvey Dent when confronted by the Joker dressed as a nurse~~ err... adamantium? Something less wrong than what I just said.

Also, the Mummy 3 is so completely cheesy and camp and action-packed and gleeful. Brendan Fraser is hotness, and gains EXTREME COOLPOINTS for having the stones to headbutt Jet Li. Seriously, Brendan Fraser, you rock. Even Colin Farrel is impressed with your headbutting prowess. I could write some more about it, but frankly, I need to read some Nathan/Peter porn, then cry myself to sleep over how wrong it is to associate Peter and sex.