...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

The most awesome thing about Easter is the after-Easter sale on all kinds of delicious chocolatey items. I did indeed get my rum truffles, and some snacks for Thlayli and co., before returning home for a marvellously vampire-themed moviefest: Blade Trinity, Dracula 2001, the Lost Boys, Interview with the Vampire, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and oh, the delicious irony of Donald Sutherland being a Watcher and Keifer Sutherland being, well, David) and of course, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Because everything's better with ninjas.

Of course, nobody can see that much religious iconography in one day without some consequences, and so I give you another installment of...



( Read more... )

I don't normally talk about serious things in this journal, owing to the fact that I'm not a very serious person and also because I believe the internet is for porn, but occaisonally something will rile me to the point where I have to speak up.

I am sick and tired of hearing pretentious fuckwits whine about the great evil that is Christianity. You're not being oppressed when I go to mass. Lighting a candle for the dead does not mean I am some right-wing anti-abortionist lunatic, or that I have been brainwashed by Vatican propaganda. How dare you make assumptions about my intelligance or political allegiance or in fact, any other aspect of my life based on something that is none of your fucking business in the first place? It's so wonderful that you're secure enough in your own belief system that you feel entitled to make snide remarks about other peoples. I'm not making you attend with me, I'm not asking you to pay lip-service to the things that I believe, I'm not trying to convert you, and frankly, if that's how you're going to act then I wouldn't want you on my side anyway. What I believe is not up for debate, and spouting anti-Christian rhetoric at me in a loud voice is not debate to begin with.

Those people with the signs get on my nerves, yes, but so do Big Issue sellers and Amnesty International members and buskers and anybody else who interferes with me getting in and out of town with as little human interaction as possible. But the ones that really annoy me are mother-fucking hecklers who verbally attack these people. Nobody cares about their religious views, and guess what? Nobody cares about yours, either. Stop trying to impress your worthless friends with how "OMGALTERNATIVE" you are, and grow the fuck up. And the next time you want to talk to me about my faith?

Fuck yourself, and don't act entitled to answers.

So, today the vile and filthy Hannah forced me to go see the new Pride and Prejudice with her so that she might indulge her unwholesome lust for Keira Knightley's angry tadpole-shaped eyebrows. And... it was terrible. Oh, don't get me wrong, Judi Dench and Donald Sutherland were every bit as awesome as usual, but Keira Knightley just really needs to be killed, or at least forced never to act again on pain of being killed, and Matthew MacFadyen is less "aloof and aristocratic Mr Darcy" and more "sweet and socially inept Angel". I swear, at one point he actually makes David Boreanaz's patent "please don't seduce me" face. And while God knows I love socially retarded!Angel, MacFadyen doesn't even have the decency to do the Angel dance or turn into a puppet, and therefore it makes me sad.

And that's not even the worst of it. Oh no. Prizes go to Rosamund Pike for the blandest, most insipid Jane ever to make it to film (yes, I'm biased, and yes, I love Susannah Harker and wish to bear her babies, but seriously, Pike is quite possibly more irritating than Keira "Angry Tadpoles of DOOM" Knightley), and to Simon Woods for one creepy-ass interpretation of Charles Bingley. I'm serious, every time he smiles at Jane, he's totally imagining peeling her skin off with a knife and stitching a suit out of it. Not to mention, he has the stupidest hairstyle imaginable and he's ginger.

However, my suffering was not in vain, since I may now force Hannah to go see one movie I want to see that she doesn't. It was going to be Serenity, but after suffering through that travesty of justice, I feel that she no longer deserves Space Pirate Cowboy Opera in the style of Joss Whedon, and am thinking of dragging her to see Land of the Dead. Because zombies are frickin' awesome, and also Serenity isn't out for ages yet.

And now, I go to watch The Importance of Being Earnest and Chocolat. Feel the Judi Dench love!