...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Aaah, thank God for reading week. Have been amusing myself by picking out my favourite moments in Firefly and Serenity. Thus far, I have Jayne and his acoustic guitar (movie), Jayne brushing his whore's hair (Heart of Gold), Jayne pouring tea for the rest of the crew (Shindig), Jayne's horrible orange hat (The Message), Jayne drunkenly singing the Ballad of Jayne (Jaynestown, obviously), Jayne naming his gun Vera (Our Mrs Reynolds) and Jayne's giggling fit when he makes Simon wear that spacesuit in Bushwhacked.

In other news, apparently you can now buy Eerie: Indiana on DVD. I think Dash-X was responsible for turning me onto silver-haired prettyboys in the heady days of my Froodlish youth.

Yay, Batman Begins is out on Friday! I guess I will give Stinky Hannah her illegal pirate copy (complete with random person crying during that scene at the end where Dickhead McLoveinterest is breaking up with Angsty McBroodsalot, which actually had me convinced that Bruce was making little sobbing noises over being dumped for Dawson Leery's forehead) back. Woolfie wants to borrow it anyway, and I suppose it's the least I can do, as the whole Desperate Dan thing is going to keep me amused for a good long while.

(For the record, I actually think Simon is very very pretty; I mean, he's no Jayne, but we can't all be be sexy man-ape-gone-wrong things. I just like winding Hannah up, since she takes such delight in tormenting me over Cricket.)

In further Simon-related news, I finally figured out what the fuck was going on in those last few minutes of Serenity; ( cut for spoilers and ick-factor... )

Goddamnit, every time I see Nathan Fillion now, all I can think about are his huge nostrils. I swear, the only thing that keeps Jayne in check is the morbid fear of being swept away in the updraft when Mal makes his angry "Somebody is challenging my status as Alpha Male" huffing flary-nostrils face.

On a related note, Woolfie saw the film for the first time this afternoon. Her first reaction? "What is wrong with Simon's chin? It's huge! He looks like Desperate Dan!" Needless to say, I am in hysterics over this and Hannah is about ready to kill somebody.

Anyone remember if Desperate Dan had a catchphrase? I think I should learn it and say it at every opportunity.

How big is Simon's hair in Serenity? I've only just noticed because certain whorish people who shall remain Hannah stole my Firefly dvds right after I saw the movie and didn't return them for about eighty thousand years, but seriously. His hair is about three times bigger than it used to be. He's the real-life equivilent of Tai from Digimon now.

I can only conclude that he's using some kind of futuristic space-conditioner that makes your hair soft and shiny and HUGE. And because I'm me, I'm going to go right ahead and assume Jayne bought it for him (he so bought River that ice-planet in "The Message") and now I must sit in a corner and go "Squee!"

I want Firefly lego.

Having just been to see Serenity a second time, I would like to say that Mal is a dick, and that I desperatly need some kind of quote-bearing merchandise, possibly in the form of clothing. Thusly, I have taken it upon myself to create art the only way I know how: shoddily and in Paint. ( Cut for size, and spoilers in the comments... )

So, I just got back from seeing Serenity... ( Read more... )

If you listen real hard, you may be able to hear my blood singing. And what is it singing, you ask? Why, the Ballad of Jayne. And why should my blood, more notable for carrying oxygen to my body parts than for harbouring any musical attributes, be singing in such a jaunty fashion? Because I am going to see Serenity tomorrow. Seriously, I don't think I've been this excited about something since I was a mere Froodlet on some long-ago Christmas Eve. Because SQUEE! Jayne on the big screen!

I have to go listen to Leonard Coen or something before I give myself a Fangasm-induced heart attack.

Squee!

Squeeeeeeee!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Serenity is out next Thursday!

Squee!

So it turns out that threatening to have the families of your opponents killed isn't an accepted tactic in legal negotiations after all. Which means that Joss Whedon has lied to me. Again.

On the bright side, at least I discovered this before I moved on to kicking the opposition, chair and all, through a plate-glass window. I think that might give the staff the impression that I'm psychotic, or at least a bad man.

And on that note, OMFGHURRYUPSERENITYINEEDMYJAYNEFIX.

Froodle out.