...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

I'm still gutted by the discovery that Rollo Weeks played Mini-Gerard in Attila. Sometimes the IMDB is a curse, I tell you.

And now, it's time for fun with memes:

List six of your favourite shows

1. Firefly
2. BSG (new)
3. Kim Possible
4. Weekenders
5. Deadwood
6. BSG (original)

( Spoilers for Serenity and the second season of Deadwood )

I really need to quit my job. I never had any faith in humanity to begin with, but lately it's being getting to the point where I actually have negative faith. Even being infuriatingly polite to drivelling fucktards in order to wind them up even more no longer brings me that spark of malevolent glee which it used to. Now I just sit there and hope their entire family gets brutally murdered by cannibalistic space-rapists from the future. And they survive, but they get leprosy and all their parts fall off and small children throw things at them in the street and they shed a single, leporous tear as they think "If only I hadn't been such an obnoxious jackass as to call down the Wrath of Froodle, I would have nbeen spared all this" and then I drive by in my limosine and splash them with water, only the water carries the Bubonic Plague and is also made of acid.

Not that I sit around and think about this or anything.

Of course, what is far more likely is that the boiling fountain of rage that lives within me will one day very soon reach critical mass and explode through my nervous system, burning out everything that was once recognisable as a person and leaving me naught but an empty vessel filled with raw killing power. And after that, it's just a hop, skip and a lava pool to killing small children and living out the remainder of my years as an evil black robot.

Aaah, thank God for reading week. Have been amusing myself by picking out my favourite moments in Firefly and Serenity. Thus far, I have Jayne and his acoustic guitar (movie), Jayne brushing his whore's hair (Heart of Gold), Jayne pouring tea for the rest of the crew (Shindig), Jayne's horrible orange hat (The Message), Jayne drunkenly singing the Ballad of Jayne (Jaynestown, obviously), Jayne naming his gun Vera (Our Mrs Reynolds) and Jayne's giggling fit when he makes Simon wear that spacesuit in Bushwhacked.

In other news, apparently you can now buy Eerie: Indiana on DVD. I think Dash-X was responsible for turning me onto silver-haired prettyboys in the heady days of my Froodlish youth.

Yay, Batman Begins is out on Friday! I guess I will give Stinky Hannah her illegal pirate copy (complete with random person crying during that scene at the end where Dickhead McLoveinterest is breaking up with Angsty McBroodsalot, which actually had me convinced that Bruce was making little sobbing noises over being dumped for Dawson Leery's forehead) back. Woolfie wants to borrow it anyway, and I suppose it's the least I can do, as the whole Desperate Dan thing is going to keep me amused for a good long while.

(For the record, I actually think Simon is very very pretty; I mean, he's no Jayne, but we can't all be be sexy man-ape-gone-wrong things. I just like winding Hannah up, since she takes such delight in tormenting me over Cricket.)

In further Simon-related news, I finally figured out what the fuck was going on in those last few minutes of Serenity; ( cut for spoilers and ick-factor... )

Goddamnit, every time I see Nathan Fillion now, all I can think about are his huge nostrils. I swear, the only thing that keeps Jayne in check is the morbid fear of being swept away in the updraft when Mal makes his angry "Somebody is challenging my status as Alpha Male" huffing flary-nostrils face.

On a related note, Woolfie saw the film for the first time this afternoon. Her first reaction? "What is wrong with Simon's chin? It's huge! He looks like Desperate Dan!" Needless to say, I am in hysterics over this and Hannah is about ready to kill somebody.

Anyone remember if Desperate Dan had a catchphrase? I think I should learn it and say it at every opportunity.

How big is Simon's hair in Serenity? I've only just noticed because certain whorish people who shall remain Hannah stole my Firefly dvds right after I saw the movie and didn't return them for about eighty thousand years, but seriously. His hair is about three times bigger than it used to be. He's the real-life equivilent of Tai from Digimon now.

I can only conclude that he's using some kind of futuristic space-conditioner that makes your hair soft and shiny and HUGE. And because I'm me, I'm going to go right ahead and assume Jayne bought it for him (he so bought River that ice-planet in "The Message") and now I must sit in a corner and go "Squee!"

I want Firefly lego.

Having just been to see Serenity a second time, I would like to say that Mal is a dick, and that I desperatly need some kind of quote-bearing merchandise, possibly in the form of clothing. Thusly, I have taken it upon myself to create art the only way I know how: shoddily and in Paint. ( Cut for size, and spoilers in the comments... )

Watching the first season of Nip/Tuck, and okay, seriously here? How much is Christian in love with Sean? That whole thing with the framed dollar in the pilot, and that weird little look he gives Sean when they're cleaning out the trunk after feeding Perez to the alligators ("You're very good at this. It scares me.")? Totally gay. So gay, even Simon Tam would watch that scene and say, "This? This is very gay." And then Jayne would come along and rip his pretty waistcoat off and ravish him and, and, and...

...

...and I'll be in my bunk.

*sigh*

I'm really, really starting to dislike Max. Which makes me sad, because at first, he was all set to be my favourite - Stone has that annoying, droning voice, I find Mike inexplicably creepy and Robinet... shot Lovely Simon. But the further the series progresses, the more I find myself gritting my teeth at some of Max's lines. Like the episode with the bombing of the abortion clinic. I admit, there are only a few things that flip the switch marked "Irrational Hulk-Style Rage" in my head the way pro-lifers do, but what kind of fucking moron sides with people who plant bombs in public places? Oh, but "they belive in what they're doing". Yes, and I sincerly believe that every woman protesting outside an abortion clinic deserves to have her uterus ripped out and shoved down her throat, and as for the men, let's just say that castration by a horde of rabid squirrels is only the very start of what I'd like to inflict on them, but you don't see me doing it.

Stone has some fairly breederiffic moments himself. The episode where he and JubalRobinet are talking about justice for the dead girl's parents, and Stone says "Justice won't give you grandchildren". What. The. Fuck. Yeah, I'm sure that's just what her parents are thinking. "Oh noes, our daughter was horribly murdered, NO GRANDCHILDRENS FOR US!" Not, say, overwhelming grief at the loss of a loved one. Nope. Just the fact that they won't get grandchildren. Shut the fuck up, Stone.

Watched the last few episodes of Highlander today. The world without Duncan Macleod was... well, it's a shame about Amanda and Joe and Fitz, but I never liked Richie anyway, and frankly, I think a world without Kronos sucks way more. And yes, I did cry during the scenes with Tessa. For I am a sappy, sappy Fangirl.

Am getting sinful amount of enjoyment out of the Law and Order dvds I bought for my mum's birthday (shut up, alright, I have to check that they work!), despite my horror on realising that District Attourney Paul is in fact Mr. Jubal Early, Bounty Hunter and shooter of Lovely Simon.

And finally, when I die, I'm going to a very special level of Hell; the one they reserve for people who write Phantom of the Opera MPREG... ( Read more... )

Ahh, smell that brimstone.