(no subject)
Jul. 14th, 2005 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I return!
After two weeks in a desolate wasteland of cardboard boxes, irate rabbit and total lack of an internet connection, I have at last managed to find my way home to Livejournal. You may all remove the black mourning bands from your arms now.
During my soujourn in the arid plains of Internyet*, I have had many adventures, mostly involving trips to the park accompanied by my nobel bunny companion (who, it transpires, likes to chase squirrels, thus proving my theory that he secretly believes he's a cat) and trips to the cinema with my no less nobel but somewhat less soft, fuzzy and strokable human friends.
Went to see Batman Begins, in which Liam Neeson is abondage ninja, Cillian Murphy is pretty, Micheal Caine does not say "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" (woe!), Morgan Freeman is awesome and Gary Oldman is... really skinny. And short. Also, Katie Holmes does not get shot in the back of the head with a nail gun, which is pretty much the only flaw in the entire film.
Did I mention that Liam Neeson was a ninja? That is so awesome. I'm going to get a little Ninja!Liam Neeson doll and make himwrestle in a homoerotic manner with fight my Jedi!Liam Neeson doll.
Afterwards, we were debating whether to watch Saw or Red Dragon, and we got to talking about the difference between horror movies that scare you in a fun, enjoyable way - like a rollercoaster - and horror movies that leave you a sweating, shivering nervous wreck who can't sleep for two days *cough*the Ring*cough*. Then Jess suggested Miss Congeniality 2...
Froodle: *laughter*
Jess: What?
Froodle: I'm sorry, it's just we're talking about movies that inspire fear and horror and you mention a Sandra Bullock film.
Alan: Well, she is horrifying.
Froodle: I didn't watch 28 Days Later when it first came out, despite everyone telling me it was awesome, because I got confused between it and a Sandra Bullock film called 28 Days.
Jess: I can't picture Sandra Bullock in a zombie movie...
Froodle: Are you kidding? Most nightmarish thing ever - instead of monkeys, a bunch of stupid hippies unleash the terror that is Sandra Bullock upon the world.
Alan: Everyone who exchanges bodily fluids with her becomes a talentless, irritating bint whose very presence makes any film fifty times more annoying than it already was.
Froodle: Oh God, the London underpass filled with hordes of slavering Sandra Bullock clones! Only Cillian Murphy can save us now!
Alan: Are you kidding? Fear gas is useless against the reality of a thousand Sandra Bullocks.
Froodle: He will trample her with his magical Fear Horse while shielding himself from her evil with his Potato Sack of Immunity!
*This is a pune, or a play on words.
After two weeks in a desolate wasteland of cardboard boxes, irate rabbit and total lack of an internet connection, I have at last managed to find my way home to Livejournal. You may all remove the black mourning bands from your arms now.
During my soujourn in the arid plains of Internyet*, I have had many adventures, mostly involving trips to the park accompanied by my nobel bunny companion (who, it transpires, likes to chase squirrels, thus proving my theory that he secretly believes he's a cat) and trips to the cinema with my no less nobel but somewhat less soft, fuzzy and strokable human friends.
Went to see Batman Begins, in which Liam Neeson is a
Did I mention that Liam Neeson was a ninja? That is so awesome. I'm going to get a little Ninja!Liam Neeson doll and make him
Afterwards, we were debating whether to watch Saw or Red Dragon, and we got to talking about the difference between horror movies that scare you in a fun, enjoyable way - like a rollercoaster - and horror movies that leave you a sweating, shivering nervous wreck who can't sleep for two days *cough*the Ring*cough*. Then Jess suggested Miss Congeniality 2...
Froodle: *laughter*
Jess: What?
Froodle: I'm sorry, it's just we're talking about movies that inspire fear and horror and you mention a Sandra Bullock film.
Alan: Well, she is horrifying.
Froodle: I didn't watch 28 Days Later when it first came out, despite everyone telling me it was awesome, because I got confused between it and a Sandra Bullock film called 28 Days.
Jess: I can't picture Sandra Bullock in a zombie movie...
Froodle: Are you kidding? Most nightmarish thing ever - instead of monkeys, a bunch of stupid hippies unleash the terror that is Sandra Bullock upon the world.
Alan: Everyone who exchanges bodily fluids with her becomes a talentless, irritating bint whose very presence makes any film fifty times more annoying than it already was.
Froodle: Oh God, the London underpass filled with hordes of slavering Sandra Bullock clones! Only Cillian Murphy can save us now!
Alan: Are you kidding? Fear gas is useless against the reality of a thousand Sandra Bullocks.
Froodle: He will trample her with his magical Fear Horse while shielding himself from her evil with his Potato Sack of Immunity!
*This is a pune, or a play on words.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 03:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 02:37 pm (UTC)Episode One: The Phantom Froodle
In which a small, annoying version of Froodle runs around and is small and annoying. Also stars LIAM NEESON for no particular reason other than his general awesomeness.
Episode Two: Attack of the Username Clones
In which an angsty pubescent Froodle romances her ice-cream, in strict defiance of the Frozen Yoghurt Council. Contains horrible dialogue about ice-cream being soft, not coarse like sand. Unless it's ice-cream eaten on the beach, in which case sand is inevitable.
Episode Three: Revenge of the Froodle
More things happen, I don't know. Froodle kills small, ability-challenged child actors. Daniel Radcliffe IZ DED! Froodle then falls into a volcano and becomes an EVIL BLACK ROBOT! Ewan McGregor WEARS A BEARD! It is the most important cinematic event of our time! Yay!
Episode Four: A New Username
Evil Black Robot Froodle blows up a planet out of spite. Because I can! Something about an annoying farmboy. More sand. Everyone hates sand. Alec Guiness dies. Dr Kelso from Scrubs is the Emporer. Why? BECAUSE I SAY SO!
Episode Five: Froodle Strikes Back
Annoying farmboy gets his hand cut off. Everyone laughs, because that right there is Comedy Gold. Some folk get dipped in vats of liquid metal and sold as examples of modern sculpture. Rich people pay vast amounts of money for this, because people are stupid, and Evil Black Robot Froodle makes a fortune, but does not buy a new respirator.
Episode Six: Return of the Froodle
Dancing teddybears are involved. Hayden Christensen is in it for No Reason Whatsoever. I kick R2D2 to death because he Pisses Me Off! His stupid little droid body is no match for my Evil Black Robot Legs!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 11:53 am (UTC)Seconded and thirded :). Glad that you're back.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 12:59 pm (UTC)only it was so utterly gross that the film reel spontaneously combusted before it could be seen by Anyone.
however, i have been well informed that it involves lister, rimmer and a pot of curry flavoured lube.
evil laugh: *echoes around in menacing manner*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 01:05 pm (UTC)