(no subject)
Feb. 11th, 2005 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
froodleDear members of the general public;
Yes, I know my hair is long. I know this because I am the one whose head it grows from. It is doubtful that, over the last several years, I have somehow failed to notice the four feet of brownie-blonde stuff sprouting from my scalp. Therefore, you do not need to point it out to me.
Yes, it is a lovely colour. Yes, it is thick, and shiny, and it does indeed have a wonderful texture. I am well aware that my hair is quite fabulous - that is in fact, part of the reason I wear it so long. I am also well aware that, after years of perms and bleaching and the use of enough hairspray to create a not inconsiderable hole in the ozone layer, your hair is nowhere near as fabulous as mine. That is why I tolerate your comments with a pained smile, and do not beat you over the head with a hardbacked copy of Lord of the Rings every time you make these inane comments.
However, touching my hair is absolutely, without a doubt, 100% Not Okay. Stroking it as though it were a friendly housecat is Damn Creepy, and YANKING ON IT hard enough to make my fucking eyes water is likely to earn you a fork in the eye, had I a fork on my person at the time.
Do Not Pull My Hair.
Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Don't you have parents? What in the world would make you think touching a complete stranger like that is okay?
I bet you touch pregnant women's stomaches in supermarkets, too.
On a related note, yes, that is a pet carrier in my hand. You can tell from the fact that it has "Pet Voyager 100" emblazoned on the side. And yes, at this moment, it contains one grey rabbit, of the OMGSOCUTE variety. I am not denying the cuteness of my rabbit. He was, after all, picked specifically for the maximization of cute-rabbitness in my vicinity.
However, please, please use some common sense. What is the number one reason someone would have a rabbit, in a pet carrier, on public transport in the middle of the afternoon?
If you need a hint, observe the sticker on the top of the pet carrier.
"Beechwood Vetinary Group".
That's right folks, he's just been to see the vet.
And what is the mental and emotional state of animals who have just been to see the vet? Come on, think now.
DINGDINGDING!
That's right. Frightened, in pain, and liable to bite when touched.
So don't let your horrible children stick their grubby, wormlike fingers through the wires in the door.
And even more important, Don't Do It Yourselves. He Will Take Your Finger Off.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Touch Not What Does Not Belong To You.
How hard is that to remember?
No love,
Froodle (who almost wishes she HAD let him bite your filthy carpet-ape, but was worried about upsetting his delicate rabbit tummy)
Yes, I know my hair is long. I know this because I am the one whose head it grows from. It is doubtful that, over the last several years, I have somehow failed to notice the four feet of brownie-blonde stuff sprouting from my scalp. Therefore, you do not need to point it out to me.
Yes, it is a lovely colour. Yes, it is thick, and shiny, and it does indeed have a wonderful texture. I am well aware that my hair is quite fabulous - that is in fact, part of the reason I wear it so long. I am also well aware that, after years of perms and bleaching and the use of enough hairspray to create a not inconsiderable hole in the ozone layer, your hair is nowhere near as fabulous as mine. That is why I tolerate your comments with a pained smile, and do not beat you over the head with a hardbacked copy of Lord of the Rings every time you make these inane comments.
However, touching my hair is absolutely, without a doubt, 100% Not Okay. Stroking it as though it were a friendly housecat is Damn Creepy, and YANKING ON IT hard enough to make my fucking eyes water is likely to earn you a fork in the eye, had I a fork on my person at the time.
Do Not Pull My Hair.
Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Don't you have parents? What in the world would make you think touching a complete stranger like that is okay?
I bet you touch pregnant women's stomaches in supermarkets, too.
On a related note, yes, that is a pet carrier in my hand. You can tell from the fact that it has "Pet Voyager 100" emblazoned on the side. And yes, at this moment, it contains one grey rabbit, of the OMGSOCUTE variety. I am not denying the cuteness of my rabbit. He was, after all, picked specifically for the maximization of cute-rabbitness in my vicinity.
However, please, please use some common sense. What is the number one reason someone would have a rabbit, in a pet carrier, on public transport in the middle of the afternoon?
If you need a hint, observe the sticker on the top of the pet carrier.
"Beechwood Vetinary Group".
That's right folks, he's just been to see the vet.
And what is the mental and emotional state of animals who have just been to see the vet? Come on, think now.
DINGDINGDING!
That's right. Frightened, in pain, and liable to bite when touched.
So don't let your horrible children stick their grubby, wormlike fingers through the wires in the door.
And even more important, Don't Do It Yourselves. He Will Take Your Finger Off.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Touch Not What Does Not Belong To You.
How hard is that to remember?
No love,
Froodle (who almost wishes she HAD let him bite your filthy carpet-ape, but was worried about upsetting his delicate rabbit tummy)
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 04:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 07:01 pm (UTC)On the plus side, choking someone to death by shoving their mobile phone down their throat, strangling them with their iPod earphones or beating them unconcious with a rather heavy textbook would guarentee I spend the rest of my life twitching in a padded cell and having minimal exposure to anyone ever...
...I have to go work on my upper body strength now.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 05:24 pm (UTC)>:/
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:57 pm (UTC)Amazing Super Dickhead Fuckwitted Goons with Herpes who are also Jerks, Knobs and Losers?
Sounds about right.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 11:49 pm (UTC)Yes, that's pretty accurate.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:14 pm (UTC)Human's are silly. ♥
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:46 pm (UTC)I want to genetically engineer a cross between a small, cute grey rabbit, and a huge, slobbering Rottweiler. I'll carry him around in his pet carrier all day and piss myself laughing every time some numbskull sticks their damn hands through the cage bars and gets savaged.
Also considering investing in some kind of samurai Head Lice.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:15 pm (UTC)you mean... you Weren't taking him to the circus? what kind of crappy owner are you?
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:24 pm (UTC)by law? HAHAHAAHA! you're a Shit lawyer. even I know that's not true. there was a circus near us last year and all my family are still here... cept my brother.... but he's at uni stfu omg he's too fat to be in a circus
and thlayli would be going to WATCH you plank.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:29 pm (UTC)They have fat people in the circus! Not that fat, though. I tried to sell them La Flobadora once, and they were all like, Alas, our gypsy horses cannot pull such a vast and flobby weight. Also, she makes us want to KILL HER with her stupidity.
And I was like, well that's fair enough.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:37 pm (UTC)dont they have fat ladies? wouldnt they be glad of her? silly froodle, they have motor horses now. and stupid customers Like stupid people so she'd be Really popular.
andandand you could have her as a knife target and it would be Amazing! that the knife thrower Could miss andand then the public could have a go and she'd be all IFLOBBLEHAHAHAHACAUSESEARTHQUAKES and she wouldnt even Feel the knives but omgsofunyes.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:21 pm (UTC)But yeah, usually I'm nice nough to ask first before I go randomly around pawing someone's hair ^.^
And I know better than to poke rabbits >< They're ebil.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 08:31 pm (UTC)XD
You just made me snort hot chocolate over my keyboard.
......
Noooooooo my precious hot chocolate! *cries*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 03:55 am (UTC)Whenever I'm sad, I think of yaks, and they make me laugh.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-13 12:56 am (UTC)*was not up till 6:30 this...ok. yesterday. morning looking for it, oh no. is totally sane and normal (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-05-28&res=l) person.*
well. that's what this post reminded me off.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 04:39 pm (UTC)