(no subject)

[froodle]

I have a pet lily. He lives in a glass vase and is covered with blue sparkles. I call him Hephestion.

I've decided, what I really need this year is a hobbit. Someone to carry all my shopping, do my cooking and cleaning, sing and dance for my edutainment, and stand around being cute when not otherwise occupied. Not Frodo, though. I can do without listening to him whine on about how he can't do my laundry because his Weathertop wound is hurting, or he can't carry my books because his gold bling is weighing him down. Maybe something in a Pippin...

Comments

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

well that's an excellent choice certainly, seeing as the pippin comes in both regular and dress-up-doll variety. both sets of course come fully equiped with singing voice and soap making apparatus along with other useful bathroom niceities that should cater to the new owner's every whim. included of course is a full knowledge of cookery, waistcoat and scarf wearing and popular games, including the famous hobbitish "one, two, three, clean my shoes you damn dirty ape" and none other than "sex cluedo".
it is recommended that purchases be made asap as christmas stock is sure to swiftly run low, due to the fact that this is an original item and no reproductions will be for sale, now or in the future. As a singular purchase the pippin may become lonely therefore it is also recommended that a companion be purchased at the same time (the best for this is the merry who acts in perfect accordance with the pippin). Mixing the pair while young will result in an amicable attitude between the two that may be absent should they meet later in life (this however can be countered should the boromir be the belated partner). Unless you plan to breed, two males is the safest option. Whichever sex the pippin is placed with he will immediately begin to "fuck like bunnies" unless of course opposite pair is a mongish duckowl.