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Sep. 1st, 2013 01:49 amOkay, so, last time, Crixus, Spartacus and all their dudes rescued Naevia from the mines, but then horrible Asher figured out where they were so the Roman dudes tried to get them.
So now Naevia is free, but the romans have Crixus and two redshirts, and they go to jail and Onemaius is there, and Crixus is like, "awesome news, Naevia is totally rescued!" and Onemaius is like, "yeah, too bad women are whores and she's probably cheated on you fifty million times with your best bro" and Crixus is all, "hahah jokes on you, i dont have a best bro because im basically a dick all the time except with Naevia, and also, way to totally bring down the mood, Onemaius" because man, Crixus was totally trying to be positive there and Onemaius completely fouled his optimism party.
And in the meantime, upstairs the romans are all like, man, we have these prisoners, but don't really know what to do with them, and then the roman dude, not the one poodle is married to but a new one she wants to be married to, is like, "let's throw a torturing party!" which is basically like a really lame black tie dinner combined with torture.
So first all the dudes were gonna die, then no dudes, then only one dude, and the roman that poodle likes is all, "ok, lucy lawless can totally choose a dude to torture" and the gladiator dudes are like, "aww man, it was nice being bros with you crixus, hope you die fast so you can dick the romans out of a good torture" but crixus is still being weirdly positive so he's all chill about it, probably because he knows he's a main dude and also has the best romantic storyline EVER, despite how incredibly sour he is, so he's like, "whatevs, bring it romans" and of course they torture and kill one of the redshirt gladiators instead.
And also, theres this totally fucked up bit where this one roman bird, who's like fifteen, can't torture the gladiator dude, and all these grownup romans laugh and rip the piss out of her, like she's the fuckup for not being able to carve up helpless alive dudes.
So essentially, it seems like roman dinner parties really suck and people shouldnt go to them.
in the meantime, spartacus was in the woods and he lost the rest of his gladiator dudes to more romans, so try not to hang out with spartacus or crixus unless you're a proper named character.
nasir got a little bit stabbed too, but he has a name so he's most likely safe, plus now agron is back so they're looking at each other and being beautiful.
So now Naevia is free, but the romans have Crixus and two redshirts, and they go to jail and Onemaius is there, and Crixus is like, "awesome news, Naevia is totally rescued!" and Onemaius is like, "yeah, too bad women are whores and she's probably cheated on you fifty million times with your best bro" and Crixus is all, "hahah jokes on you, i dont have a best bro because im basically a dick all the time except with Naevia, and also, way to totally bring down the mood, Onemaius" because man, Crixus was totally trying to be positive there and Onemaius completely fouled his optimism party.
And in the meantime, upstairs the romans are all like, man, we have these prisoners, but don't really know what to do with them, and then the roman dude, not the one poodle is married to but a new one she wants to be married to, is like, "let's throw a torturing party!" which is basically like a really lame black tie dinner combined with torture.
So first all the dudes were gonna die, then no dudes, then only one dude, and the roman that poodle likes is all, "ok, lucy lawless can totally choose a dude to torture" and the gladiator dudes are like, "aww man, it was nice being bros with you crixus, hope you die fast so you can dick the romans out of a good torture" but crixus is still being weirdly positive so he's all chill about it, probably because he knows he's a main dude and also has the best romantic storyline EVER, despite how incredibly sour he is, so he's like, "whatevs, bring it romans" and of course they torture and kill one of the redshirt gladiators instead.
And also, theres this totally fucked up bit where this one roman bird, who's like fifteen, can't torture the gladiator dude, and all these grownup romans laugh and rip the piss out of her, like she's the fuckup for not being able to carve up helpless alive dudes.
So essentially, it seems like roman dinner parties really suck and people shouldnt go to them.
in the meantime, spartacus was in the woods and he lost the rest of his gladiator dudes to more romans, so try not to hang out with spartacus or crixus unless you're a proper named character.
nasir got a little bit stabbed too, but he has a name so he's most likely safe, plus now agron is back so they're looking at each other and being beautiful.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
