...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Neighbour Dan's girlfriend just gave me a fucking coronary on the back stairs. I'd taken the rubbish out, and was just punching the security code to get back inside the building when I feel someone step up behind me, a hand reaches over my shoulder and pushes the door open. I swear, I shrieked like some kind of character played by Orlando Bloom. But she was so startled she nearly fell down the steps, so I call it even.

In other news, last weekend I started my summer job as a call centre monkey. It's pretty cool actually, I sit around all day taking calls from pub owners whose fruit machines and the like have broken down. I type in half their postcode, pull up their details, type in the machine that's acting up and click "send". And for that, I get paid £5.70 an hour. Plus the company I work for rents out pool tables, so my second day on the job I got a call from a guy telling me his balls weren't dropping. I nearly bit my pencil in half trying not to laugh.

Tomorrow I have an interview for a job doing data entry five nights a week between 5.30 and 8.30. I've never done data entry, but I hope I get it because a) I need the money and b) 5.30 to 8.30 means I can bum around all day, go to work, then bum around all evening, while also getting paid £15 a night.

Now I'm going to go put my laundry on, order some Chinese food and watch Phantom of the Opera. Aah, life. She is good.

Back in Leeds after five days on the Rock of Smell. Thlayli and Erikplant both held up well in my absense, although Thlayli has that rumbled look that makes me suspect Goings On have been, uh, going on. Also his pen was completely trashed. I suspect he's been having a houseparty with Neighbour Dan's pirahna while I was gone.

Journey absolute nightmare - loud, drunken Scousers on the plane, (seriously, if I'm sitting four rows back and right next to the engine, and I can still hear every word you say, you are Talking Too Bloody Loud) shrieking snotgoblins accompanied by even shriekier velour-clad Breeders at the station, noisy Mobile Phone Rems on the train, and Burbury-clad Chavs at the taxi point.

On plus side, did get the opportunity to raid the bookshelves in Buzz's room and liberate some of my older Discworld books, as well as soon that have obviously been given to Johnny as gifts, since they've never been read. Stole those too. May have teeny tiny crush on Otto from "The Truth" as a result. Speaking of Discworld-verse crushes, am trying to remember the first time the Witches turned Greebo into a human, but am drawing a blank. Help would be appreciated. Aah, Human Greebo. How we lust after you.

Also, Agnes > Magrat. I dare you to disagree.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Spur of the minute gathering at Neighbour Dan's last night leads to drunken Froodle declaring she can't marry anyone because she's carrying David Boreanaz's children. Of course, I say stuff like that even when I'm sober, but I don't actually believe it without the application of vast amounts of whiskey.

Would explain why I've been craving pizza lately, though. Damn you, David Boreanaz! Damn you and your mighty Atlantic-traveling sperm!

In other news, the Coreys were at the San Diego Comic Con last weekend. If anyone reading this went there and saw them, I hate you and am planning to kill your family out of jealousy. If anyone reading this went there and didn't see them, I hate you and am planning to kill your family because you don't know how to recognise a gift from Our Lord Snufkin.

Also, look here. My genius has spread far and wide. I should start a community dedicated to me.

Shall update later with details of the following:

• Stupid Irish jewellery, uses of
  
• Wesley's spine-collecting activities
  
• Angelus concentrate

Have to go ask Neighbour Dan if he knows what happened to my shoes.