(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
froodleGather ye round, for I shall now recount, in the best traditions of the Family Von Froodle, the woeful story of Lex the Angry Flying Spoon.
Yea, once upon a time there was a Froodle. And she did have a mummy Froodle, and a daddy Froodle, and three baby brother Froodles, although they were not all called Froodle, because that would be confusing. Also this story concerns only the mummy Froodle and the youngest Froodlebrother, who is called Buzz.
And it came to pass that Buzz did possess some Smallville DVDs and a healthy lust for Chloe, who is awesome and way hotter than Lana Lang, so there. And one day Froodle and Buzz were watching of these DVDs and discussing how unbelievably gay Clark and Lex are, when they were chanced upon by Mummy Froodle.
And Mummy Froodle did say unto them, "Hark at thee, with your claiming that any two male characters who so much as share screen time together are partaking of the Horizontal Funky Monkey Tango. It is silly and you shall have no cakes today."
And Buzz and Froodle did cry protest and invite Mummy Froodle to watch Smallville with them and see with her own eyes the gayness of Clark and Lex, and she agreed and they had yoghurts, but only on her sufference, and they were much a-tremble with the knowledge that a delicious cakey future was at stake.
And yea, it came to pass that there was a scene with Johnathan Kent and Lex, and Froodle did say unto her progenitor, "See you how all of Lex and Johnathan's conversations do amount to 'I don't want you dating my son'." But Mummy Froodle's heart was black with doubt, and she did require further edification.
Now it so happened that Buzz had recently laid down his half-eaten yoghurt, and lying upon the kitchen table was both the spoon and the yoghurt pot. And Froodle did snatch up the latter with a warrior-like yell, and cried, "Behold, this yoghurt pot shall be Johnathan Kent." And Buzz did seize the spoon likewise and did cry, "And verily, this spoon shall be Lex Luthor". And so began the Ballad of Lex the Angry Flying Spoon:
Lex the Spoon: Hello.
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I don't want you dating my son.
Lex the Spoon: I attempt to buy your respect with DELICIOUS MONIES!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I make a speech about how you are exactly like your father.
Lex the Spoon: I make a rejoining speech about how I am not, because my father is evil and meen and I have daddy issues.
Johnthan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I am scornful. So filled with scorn, I am! Like a delicious dairy snack, I overflow with scorn!
Lex the Spoon: No really, I am nice and good and want to make an honest woman of your son.
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: You lie! You merely want to steal his spaceship so that everyone will think he is a person of questionable morals and he will never wear white on his wedding day. You Are Bad.
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes.
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes!
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes!
Lex the Spoon: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!
And then Buzz did hurl Lex the Spoon across the kitchen table, the better to demonstrate Lex's anger, and Lex the Spoon did fall off the table and onto the floor. And Mummy Froodle did ask of him, "Yea, is the moral of the story that Lex Luthor is in fact an angry flying spoon?" and Buzz did reply unto her, "Yes," and did ask her to pass him a clean Lex from the cutlery drawer.
And that is the story of how Lex Luthor became an angry flying spoon.
Yea, once upon a time there was a Froodle. And she did have a mummy Froodle, and a daddy Froodle, and three baby brother Froodles, although they were not all called Froodle, because that would be confusing. Also this story concerns only the mummy Froodle and the youngest Froodlebrother, who is called Buzz.
And it came to pass that Buzz did possess some Smallville DVDs and a healthy lust for Chloe, who is awesome and way hotter than Lana Lang, so there. And one day Froodle and Buzz were watching of these DVDs and discussing how unbelievably gay Clark and Lex are, when they were chanced upon by Mummy Froodle.
And Mummy Froodle did say unto them, "Hark at thee, with your claiming that any two male characters who so much as share screen time together are partaking of the Horizontal Funky Monkey Tango. It is silly and you shall have no cakes today."
And Buzz and Froodle did cry protest and invite Mummy Froodle to watch Smallville with them and see with her own eyes the gayness of Clark and Lex, and she agreed and they had yoghurts, but only on her sufference, and they were much a-tremble with the knowledge that a delicious cakey future was at stake.
And yea, it came to pass that there was a scene with Johnathan Kent and Lex, and Froodle did say unto her progenitor, "See you how all of Lex and Johnathan's conversations do amount to 'I don't want you dating my son'." But Mummy Froodle's heart was black with doubt, and she did require further edification.
Now it so happened that Buzz had recently laid down his half-eaten yoghurt, and lying upon the kitchen table was both the spoon and the yoghurt pot. And Froodle did snatch up the latter with a warrior-like yell, and cried, "Behold, this yoghurt pot shall be Johnathan Kent." And Buzz did seize the spoon likewise and did cry, "And verily, this spoon shall be Lex Luthor". And so began the Ballad of Lex the Angry Flying Spoon:
Lex the Spoon: Hello.
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I don't want you dating my son.
Lex the Spoon: I attempt to buy your respect with DELICIOUS MONIES!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I make a speech about how you are exactly like your father.
Lex the Spoon: I make a rejoining speech about how I am not, because my father is evil and meen and I have daddy issues.
Johnthan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: I am scornful. So filled with scorn, I am! Like a delicious dairy snack, I overflow with scorn!
Lex the Spoon: No really, I am nice and good and want to make an honest woman of your son.
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: You lie! You merely want to steal his spaceship so that everyone will think he is a person of questionable morals and he will never wear white on his wedding day. You Are Bad.
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes.
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes!
Lex the Spoon: No!
Johnathan Kent the Yoghurt Pot: Yes!
Lex the Spoon: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!
And then Buzz did hurl Lex the Spoon across the kitchen table, the better to demonstrate Lex's anger, and Lex the Spoon did fall off the table and onto the floor. And Mummy Froodle did ask of him, "Yea, is the moral of the story that Lex Luthor is in fact an angry flying spoon?" and Buzz did reply unto her, "Yes," and did ask her to pass him a clean Lex from the cutlery drawer.
And that is the story of how Lex Luthor became an angry flying spoon.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 01:18 pm (UTC)seriously though, you need to get this smallville fixation fixed.
or like neutered or whatever.
*giggles* you have to neuter supperman
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 01:25 pm (UTC)I'm not neuturing Superman. Stop making me think about Clark Kent's boy parts!