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Apr. 2nd, 2005 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
froodle*grumble*
My Highlander DVDs are still not here. Where are you, Highlander DVDs?! I need my Duncan fix. Also, I thoroughly plan on lending them to Alan, thus indirectly forcing Jessica to watch them and getting revenge for the time she made me watch an hour-long special of Emmerdale. As Robespierre would say, "Mwaha."
On the other hand, do have shiny Firefly and Shooters to edutain myself with in the meantime. Jess immediately zeroed in on Shooters:
Jessica: Isn't this that film with Gerry Butler in nothing but a towel?
Froodle: *shamefaced* Yes...
Jessica: You are so sad.
Froodle: ...wait a minute, how did You know about the towel? I never mentioned it to you.
Jessica: Err...
Froodle: *triumphant "A-ha!" pose of denouncementification* Ha! You've watched it too!
Jessica: It's your fault! You're a bad influence!
Froodle: Hey, I actually like British gangster films. That makes you waaaay more sad than me. Also you're totally cheating on Colin Firth.
Jessica: *snooty sniff* It was a moment of weakness. It means nothing!
Froodle: Colin Firth hates you now.
Jessica: Are you going to put it on or not?
Froodle: Ooh, I don't think I should encourage you to go down this slippery path.
Alan: Yeah, she might turn into you.
Froodle: Well, I never!
In the end we watched the first few episodes of Firefly instead. Reactions can be summerized thusly:
Serenity:
[opening flashback sequence]
Wait a minute, this isn't a space western. This is a space... war film... thing. And it doesn't even have Colin Farrell! The box lied to me!
...
[Zoe]
Holy crap, is that Jasmine? Eww...
...
[Mal]
Nathan Fillion isn't that pretty. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't, but...
...
[Wash]
Heehee, dinosaurs! Augh, what is Watt from a Knight's Tale doing in the Whedonverse? My mind, she cannot take such a concept. *pause* I wonder if he brought Heath Ledger...
...
[Jayne]
Hey, wasn't that guy Eve's replacement in Angel? He's all rugged and cowboylike now. Coooool.
...
[Jayne, obviously]
JAYNE?!
...
[Book]
Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Please tell me that's not Heady from Teen Angel.
...
[Book]
Oh yeah, that's totally Heady.
...
[Simon]
Okay, he already annoys me. He's totally the Wesley of this 'verse.
...
[Bloke who turns out to be a Fed]
Doyle's ex-wife's fiance! Also that guy from that one episode of Buffy. Does Mutant Enemy even hold auditions any more?
...
[Scene where Mal punches Simon]
Mmm, foreplay. I mean... *innocent whistle*
...
[River]
Oh God. This is going to be Fred all over again, isn't it?
...
[Scene where Jayne wants to torture Federal Agent RichardKen]
"Pain is scary."
*gigglegiggle*
"You call yourself a law man? Don't they teach you how to withstand interrogation?! *sulks* I was gonna get me an ear, too."
*gigglegiggle*
I think I'm going to like Jayne.
...
[Scene where Mal tells Simon Kaylee is dead]
Damn you Joss, why are you always killing people in the first episode of a new show?!
...
[Scene where Kaylee turns out not to be dead]
Whew. And hee for Simon's reaction. And also, he's quite pretty when he's not making that snooty Wesley face.
...
[Scene where all the crew are pissing themselves laughing over Mal's prank]
*giggle*
Wash: You're psychotic!
*gigglegiggle*
Mal: "I'm a bad man." *wipes away tear of mirth*
*gigglegigglegiggle*
...
[Zoe on Reavers]
"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and wear our skins as clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."
Equal parts *shiver*, Cool Line and wondering why Jasmine just doesn't use her nicifying powers on them. I mean, it made Connor briefly tolerable, so evil cannibalistic space rapists shouldn't be a problem for her.
...
[Reaver ship passes]
*tremble*
...
[Mal and Patience]
Mal: "One of those could feed a whole family for a month. Longer if they don't like their kids too well."
Heh. Starving kids are always funny.
...
[Mal telling Simon he can stay at the end of the pilot]
Aww. Now kiss.
...
Trainjob:
[Niska]
Hee. Paper-thin Russian villians with stereotypical accents Never stop being funny.
Niska: You do not like I kill this man?
Mal: No, I'm sure he was a very bad person.
Niska: He is wife's nephew. At dinner I am getting earful. Is no way 'round it.
*giggles*
...
[while Kaylee is preparing... I dunno, train-robbing things]
Simon: What are we doing?
Kaylee: Crime.
Simon: Oh. Crime.
Hee. He looks all cute and bemused here. Also, pretty, pretty waistcoat.
...
[Jayne on Simon - not literally, alas]
Hee. "Fancible".
...
[Jayne]
Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Hee! Not that robbing a train is all that heroic, but... look shut up, I just liked that line.
...
[Simon doping up Jayne and Jayne subsequently going crazy and collapsing in the pilot room]
Hee!
...
[Mal taking the medicine back]
Boo!
...
[Mal kicking that one guy into a turbine]
Coooooool! I mean, not as cool as Angels "Can you fly?" moment, but still cool.
...
Bushwacked:
[Wash on the spaceship hitting something]
Wash: Oh no, what could it be? We're all doomed! WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?! *pause* Oh right, that would be me. Back to work then.
Hee!
...
[Scene where Simon is watching Mal and Zoe preparing to board the other spaceship]
Oh come on, that is not a look of "Oh, how I fear space". That's a look of "Oh, how I wish the Captain would rip off my pretty, pretty waistcoat and all my other clothes and do Naughty things to me, possibly in the piloting room involving Wash's toy dinosaurs."
Because you know anyone as prim and proper as Simon has kinks galore. And when Jayne asks him what's wrong, and Simon says something about not wanting to go into space, Jayne totally gives him a "Who are you kidding?" look.
...
[Scene where Jayne tricks Simon into the spacesuit]
HAH! And awww for Jayne's evil giggle and for Simon's "Sadist". You know you love it, Simon. With your waistcoats of Ravish Me Please.
...
[Scene where River, Zoe and Mal discover the bodies]
AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
...
[Scene where Jayne gets attacked in the kitchen]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH! With a side helping of "Noo, Jayne!"
...
[Scene where they find the guy who attacked Jayne]
Simon: *snarkily* Oh yes, he's a beast. It's amazing you're still alive.
Jayne: Looked bigger when I couldn't see him.
Awwww, lookit Simon. He's all snarky and stuff.
My Highlander DVDs are still not here. Where are you, Highlander DVDs?! I need my Duncan fix. Also, I thoroughly plan on lending them to Alan, thus indirectly forcing Jessica to watch them and getting revenge for the time she made me watch an hour-long special of Emmerdale. As Robespierre would say, "Mwaha."
On the other hand, do have shiny Firefly and Shooters to edutain myself with in the meantime. Jess immediately zeroed in on Shooters:
Jessica: Isn't this that film with Gerry Butler in nothing but a towel?
Froodle: *shamefaced* Yes...
Jessica: You are so sad.
Froodle: ...wait a minute, how did You know about the towel? I never mentioned it to you.
Jessica: Err...
Froodle: *triumphant "A-ha!" pose of denouncementification* Ha! You've watched it too!
Jessica: It's your fault! You're a bad influence!
Froodle: Hey, I actually like British gangster films. That makes you waaaay more sad than me. Also you're totally cheating on Colin Firth.
Jessica: *snooty sniff* It was a moment of weakness. It means nothing!
Froodle: Colin Firth hates you now.
Jessica: Are you going to put it on or not?
Froodle: Ooh, I don't think I should encourage you to go down this slippery path.
Alan: Yeah, she might turn into you.
Froodle: Well, I never!
In the end we watched the first few episodes of Firefly instead. Reactions can be summerized thusly:
Serenity:
[opening flashback sequence]
Wait a minute, this isn't a space western. This is a space... war film... thing. And it doesn't even have Colin Farrell! The box lied to me!
...
[Zoe]
Holy crap, is that Jasmine? Eww...
...
[Mal]
Nathan Fillion isn't that pretty. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't, but...
...
[Wash]
Heehee, dinosaurs! Augh, what is Watt from a Knight's Tale doing in the Whedonverse? My mind, she cannot take such a concept. *pause* I wonder if he brought Heath Ledger...
...
[Jayne]
Hey, wasn't that guy Eve's replacement in Angel? He's all rugged and cowboylike now. Coooool.
...
[Jayne, obviously]
JAYNE?!
...
[Book]
Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Please tell me that's not Heady from Teen Angel.
...
[Book]
Oh yeah, that's totally Heady.
...
[Simon]
Okay, he already annoys me. He's totally the Wesley of this 'verse.
...
[Bloke who turns out to be a Fed]
Doyle's ex-wife's fiance! Also that guy from that one episode of Buffy. Does Mutant Enemy even hold auditions any more?
...
[Scene where Mal punches Simon]
Mmm, foreplay. I mean... *innocent whistle*
...
[River]
Oh God. This is going to be Fred all over again, isn't it?
...
[Scene where Jayne wants to torture Federal Agent RichardKen]
"Pain is scary."
*gigglegiggle*
"You call yourself a law man? Don't they teach you how to withstand interrogation?! *sulks* I was gonna get me an ear, too."
*gigglegiggle*
I think I'm going to like Jayne.
...
[Scene where Mal tells Simon Kaylee is dead]
Damn you Joss, why are you always killing people in the first episode of a new show?!
...
[Scene where Kaylee turns out not to be dead]
Whew. And hee for Simon's reaction. And also, he's quite pretty when he's not making that snooty Wesley face.
...
[Scene where all the crew are pissing themselves laughing over Mal's prank]
*giggle*
Wash: You're psychotic!
*gigglegiggle*
Mal: "I'm a bad man." *wipes away tear of mirth*
*gigglegigglegiggle*
...
[Zoe on Reavers]
"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and wear our skins as clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."
Equal parts *shiver*, Cool Line and wondering why Jasmine just doesn't use her nicifying powers on them. I mean, it made Connor briefly tolerable, so evil cannibalistic space rapists shouldn't be a problem for her.
...
[Reaver ship passes]
*tremble*
...
[Mal and Patience]
Mal: "One of those could feed a whole family for a month. Longer if they don't like their kids too well."
Heh. Starving kids are always funny.
...
[Mal telling Simon he can stay at the end of the pilot]
Aww. Now kiss.
...
Trainjob:
[Niska]
Hee. Paper-thin Russian villians with stereotypical accents Never stop being funny.
Niska: You do not like I kill this man?
Mal: No, I'm sure he was a very bad person.
Niska: He is wife's nephew. At dinner I am getting earful. Is no way 'round it.
*giggles*
...
[while Kaylee is preparing... I dunno, train-robbing things]
Simon: What are we doing?
Kaylee: Crime.
Simon: Oh. Crime.
Hee. He looks all cute and bemused here. Also, pretty, pretty waistcoat.
...
[Jayne on Simon - not literally, alas]
Hee. "Fancible".
...
[Jayne]
Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Hee! Not that robbing a train is all that heroic, but... look shut up, I just liked that line.
...
[Simon doping up Jayne and Jayne subsequently going crazy and collapsing in the pilot room]
Hee!
...
[Mal taking the medicine back]
Boo!
...
[Mal kicking that one guy into a turbine]
Coooooool! I mean, not as cool as Angels "Can you fly?" moment, but still cool.
...
Bushwacked:
[Wash on the spaceship hitting something]
Wash: Oh no, what could it be? We're all doomed! WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?! *pause* Oh right, that would be me. Back to work then.
Hee!
...
[Scene where Simon is watching Mal and Zoe preparing to board the other spaceship]
Oh come on, that is not a look of "Oh, how I fear space". That's a look of "Oh, how I wish the Captain would rip off my pretty, pretty waistcoat and all my other clothes and do Naughty things to me, possibly in the piloting room involving Wash's toy dinosaurs."
Because you know anyone as prim and proper as Simon has kinks galore. And when Jayne asks him what's wrong, and Simon says something about not wanting to go into space, Jayne totally gives him a "Who are you kidding?" look.
...
[Scene where Jayne tricks Simon into the spacesuit]
HAH! And awww for Jayne's evil giggle and for Simon's "Sadist". You know you love it, Simon. With your waistcoats of Ravish Me Please.
...
[Scene where River, Zoe and Mal discover the bodies]
AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
...
[Scene where Jayne gets attacked in the kitchen]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH! With a side helping of "Noo, Jayne!"
...
[Scene where they find the guy who attacked Jayne]
Simon: *snarkily* Oh yes, he's a beast. It's amazing you're still alive.
Jayne: Looked bigger when I couldn't see him.
Awwww, lookit Simon. He's all snarky and stuff.
