(no subject)

[froodle]

I've mentioned before that we have two cats in our house - my awesome cat, Fatnorange, the greatest cat who ever lived, and Tazzy, my brother's sour, too-skinny black cat who has too-big eyes and spiky fur that always makes him look as if he's just recieved an electric shock.

We're always trying to think of new ways to torture them, be it opening the fridge door and then closing it when they come running in hope of treats, waiting 'til the cats are asleep then winding up clockwork toys, aiming them at the cats and letting them go, or holding up cutlery in front of the window so spots of light flash all over the kitchen and they try without success to catch the sunbeams.

Lately the Prawn has hit on a new one - he holds his hand about a centimetre away from their fur and runs it over their bodies, almost but not quite touching them. Even when they're asleep, they start twitching their whiskers and their muscles spasm as he passes his hand over them. They get really huffy and start chirping at him and eventually, if he doesn't start rubbing them properly, they go off to sulk.

So today Prawn, Jonny and Buzz Lighthair were all in the office looking up random things on YouTube. There's only two computers and two chairs, so if there's more than two of you in there, someone has to stand and wait for a turn on the internet. I can hear them all giggling away as I'm coming up the stairs, and suddenly Buzz starts shouting:

"William, stop fake-stroking my head!"

I go in, and Prawn is stood there, very calmly, running his hand over the top of Buzz's hair, almost-but-not-quite touching it, as Buzz gets steadily more and more annoyed, eventually storming out and leaving Prawn with a turn at the computer.

Fake-stroking, guys. Works on cats, Prawns and siblings.

Comments

[redeyedfeline.livejournal.com]

Fatnorange is the most epic name ever.

"Invented by Prawns, works on cats and siblings."

I'm just gonna quote that in some side street somewhere. Get the medics running. What the heck goes on in your blog.

[froodle]

Whenever anyone comes to the house for the first time, I give them a brief run-down of who they may find inside, and everyone's always like, "How could you call your cat Fatnorange?" and then they see him and they're like, "Oh..."

I'm officially making "Stop fake-stroking my head!" into my default exclaimation of annoyance.

And if you think the blog is weird, the reality is even madder - Johnny making up insulting songs about people and singing them while poking said person in the head with a roll of kitchen foil, Johnny's girlfriend losing her rag and raining My Little Ponies down on him from the upstairs landing, Prawn putting his stinky socks on his hands and then sneaking up on people to rub thier eyes with his foul foot-stench, Tazzy weeing in people's shoes, Fatnorange trying to swipe food off your plate if you leave it unguarded for a second, the live bugs for The Lizard getting loose, Buzz and I engaged in clandestine warfare over the rowing machine that neither of us remembers buying or using and that we keep trying to force the other to store under their bed - and this is just stuff from the last few days. I don't put it all in the LJ because I don't have enough energy to write it all down!

Also, that icon is awesome, I'm taking it.