(no subject)

[froodle]

Greetings, lowly slave-monkeys of the planet Livejournal. It is I, the great and powerful OZ Froodle, here to bring you joy and merriment and disasterous encounters with hot air balloons. Or perhaps to bitch about my emerging wisdom tooth (yes, mock away, I only have one) which is fucking killing me, or to moan about being back on the Isle of Man and wasting my valuable holiday entitlement here on the Rock That Time Forgot, or to share with you my extreme disgruntification at the way A Series of Unfortunate Events ended or perhaps do any combination of the three, while also wombling on any other subjects that happen to cross my mind.

Actually, first I must say that I completely hate hate hate with the power of a thousand suns my complete Goomba of a manager, who thinks he is Batman when in fact he is more like Aquatard, and who would have been set on fire if I had not managed to procure a box of chocolates and some Sharpe DVDs in time to assauge my wrath.

Also, ASOUE has the most dissatisfactorizing ending ever, with both myself and the Baudelaires being completely gypped in terms of answers to any mysteries, and also with Count Olaf being dead, because he sort of grew on me as the series progressed and I am actually quite gutted that he got harpoonified to death, and with Fiona being a total tramposaur to poor lovely Klaus and never finding out if Violet would pick Quigley or Duncan Quagmire and the Baudelaire parentals being dead after all and the orphans getting saddled with another orphan and just... boo! Boo I say! I demand real endings.

In other news, having spectacularly failed in my attempts to not eat more than one chocolate bar a day, stave off any more book-related purchases until I have read everything in my fifty-book-deep To Be Read pile and not be outwardly spiteful to people I hate or am merely annoyed by, I believe I have finally lit upon a resolution that is both challenging and actually possible; this being to read my height in books. I predict many large-print books with lots of pictures in my immediate future.

And finally, the Isle of Man sucks, and my wisdom tooth is burning me with unbearable pain. That is all.

Comments

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

bonjela usually works, tastes quite nice as well.

How many murderous thoughts have you had since being back then?

[froodle]

Bonjela is for cold sores, not for teeth that are unusally large and knowing. Although I am sure one of my three diseased brothers will have some lying around, so I may just take the tube and chew on it to salve my pain.

Only two thus far, once when I discovered my parents have redecorated my bedroom so that it is now boring and without personality, and just now when I wanted a bath and couldn't have one because Gianthead McGraw was in there bathing his freakishly massive head.

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

Its for ulcers and teething, babies usually have it :P

They decorated without telling you?! WTF I would flip if my parents ever did that

[froodle]

Are you calling me a baby? Because although I have not reached your advanced age, sir, I am no baby. Anyway, it's gone now.

Yeah, especially as it's now mustard yellow. I'm deliberatly keeping the lights as low as possible for the duration of my visit, lest mine eyes offend me.

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

Because you used bonjela?!

Doesn't that make it more yellow though?

Oh and clear out your mailbox, I was trying to send you an email about Wicked and it kept coming back

[froodle]

Because I am magically awesome and can defeat toothache with the power of my mind!

No, I have pink glass wall-lighty things so it makes it pinkish yellow. More sunset, less Col. Mustard.

Was it my Hotmail one? 'Cause I think that one died from lack of use. Try snufkin_owns_you@yahoo.co.uk

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

Yeah whatever, you used the bonjela

hmmm you and pink together, now thats, different

Ah knew you had another one somewhere

[froodle]

Bonjela is for wusses!

I can do pink, as long as it's done in an ironic way. I have a new bra that is bright pink, in the hope of detering Percy's bra-stealin' ways.

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

Percy is Gay, he will probably love it and wear it when you're at work

[froodle]

You don't get gay Daleks, stupidface!

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

Percy is obviously unique then

[froodle]

Scandal! Percy is not gay, he is dashing and elegant.

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

I juts said he was unique!... and quietly that meant gay

[froodle]

HANNAH means gay. Lindsey-Snith means "extra-totally-unbelievably gay, and will be forced to watch Highlander and listen to my babble when she comes to visit."

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

ITS NOT SNITH!

I dont want to watch Highlander though

[froodle]

It's Snith if I say it is Snith, and I do say it is Snith, and so it is Snith and shall ever be Snith. So there.

Too bad, you don't have a choice. This is my new glee-inducing obsession and someone will be forced to share it with me. Plus, come on, attractive men getting all hot and bothered and waving their big ol' phallic symbols at each other? That's hot.

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

You fancy Dirk, you're not in a position to tell me who is attractive!

[froodle]

You die!

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

I'M RIGHT!

[incandescens]

Much sympathy regarding manager, Isle of Man, and tooth.

[froodle]

Thanks! Although my tooth feels better, the Isle of Man is still boring and no doubt my manager will still be a Goomba upon my return.

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Dude, SO DISSATISFYING! I mean, I get what he was doing, and in a way it was beautiful, but in another way it was VERY FRUSTRATING. At least they got to live, I suppose. Unlike Fernald, who I was especially rooting for, who got 'swallowed up by the Great Unknown'. ASKLDFJKDFJDS.

[froodle]

The whole format of it was very clever, but there comes a point where being clever isn't enough, because eventually we're going to want the author to get on with the bastard story and explain about the poisoned darts.

At least Fernald got to have an actual name, unlike the bald man with the long nose, the two women with white powder all over their faces or the person who looked like neither a man nor a woman.