(no subject)

[froodle]

So, yesterday I was introduced to a new book series with the following description:

"The main guy in it is like if Harry Dresden and Constantine met and had a baby. A snarky, ghost-busting, English baby."

If there is a more perfect strategy out there aimed at getting my undivided attention, I have yet to witness it.

However, today is the first lovely day we've had since I got Prawned on Monday, so I'm going out to tackle that coastal route in broad daylight and face down the Cow Mafia. Black-and-white four-legged bitches think they can tell me where I can and can't walk.

Comments

[prepare4trouble.livejournal.com]

Cows are scary. I swear, one time I saw a bunch of them having a meeting in a field down south. I'm sure they were planning world domination or something. They all just converged in the one corner and started planning the overthrow of the human race.

What's the book series? It sounds seriously awesome.

[redeyedfeline.livejournal.com]

Sure I've heard that description somewhere.

When I was about eleven, my brother (who was about eighteen at the time) thought it would be hysterical to practice the god damn mating call of the Cow Mafia.

Cue stampede.

Cue brother hightailing over six fences, and my mother wrenching me by my dungarees and hauling me so fast into the car I was almost knocked out by the door.

Good times.

Jealous about the coastal work. In my pitiful part of London, all we have is concrete prisons of surburbia and toxic tinted air. Coming from a seaside town myself, my lungs are in constant rebellion.

[froodle]

I know right? They've all got baby cows in the fields with them at the moment, and if you walk too near them - even if you're on the pavement and they're on the other side of a stone wall in their field or something - they all stop what they're doing and stand perfectly still, staring at you. OMINOUS.

I don't think the series has like a collective name, but the dude in it is called Felix Castor and the writer is Mike Carey. Whose name I recognise from the Hellblazer comics, so the Constantine thing is probably dead-on.

[froodle]

They're by Mike Carey and the main charactr's name is Felix Castor. I haven't started the first one yet, but it's all ready to go at the first onset of crappy weather, so I'll let you know how he stacks up against Harry and John.

HAH! When my brothers and I were much younger, we used to live in a more farm-y part of the Rock, and it was pretty standard when we were in the car to have to stop to let the farmers drive a bunch of cows or sheep across the road. So one day we're coming back from Beach Mission (this weird religious activity camp thing they do here in the summer holidays) and there's cows in the road, so we're stopped, waiting. And this cow sticks it's head in through the open window in the back and licks the side of Johnathon's head. Cue freak-out on an EPIC scale, cue Johnathon's obsession with eating beef in some kind of revenge-driven scheme to eventually devour all the world's cows, and cue his absolute refusal to have anything to do with Church ever again.

I know exactly what you mean about life on the sea versus life in the city - I still haven't adjusted to the idea that I can just walk out my front door, day or night, and go for a stroll without being mugged or stabbed or raped or spat at - at least by anything human.