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Oct. 23rd, 2009 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
froodleDudes, I have just had the most EPIC idea about how Heroes can effectively attone for Nathangate - as with everything beautiful, it naturally involves Colin Farrell, debauchery and just a little bit of manly violence.
See, with Claude either dead or in hiding, and Adam... well, I don't want to talk about Adam, but let's just say he will not be around anymore... Heroes needs a new character to bring the UK-based snark for which we are so justly renowned. Enter Colin Farrell, reeling from whiskey and stinking of sex, to mortally offend/wound/sexify everyone he comes across.
His first act will be making Peter cry by dismissing his prophetic drawings as "rubbish by spastics," then following that up by headbutting Sylar when he tries to take his ability (which, by the way, is never actually revealed to the audience) breaking his nose and possibly done while yelling something along the lines of "Telekinesis? No, don't bother!"*
Having effectively demonstrated that even Claire's healing abilities are no match for Colin Farrell, our soon-to-be fan favourite then avails himself of Sylar's wallet, Watch of Evilness and any spare booze he might have on his person before putting the boot in a couple of times and fleeing into the night, while the world's lamest super-powered serial killer is curled up in fetal agony on the floor. At which point Mama Petrelli shows up and points out that which we have always known, that Sylar is such a disappointment that he really could be one of the Petrelli boys after all.
Anyway, while Daddy Bennet and the Haitian are dispatched to track down Colin and recruit him into the latest incarnation of the Company/the Initiative/the Brotherhood of Mutants/whatever, Sylar and Peter put aside their mutual animosity in order to form the We Hate Colin Farrell club, and pinky-swear to eradicate him from the world once and for all. Later, Bennet will join their quest when it emerges that Colin has seduced Claire, Lyle, Sandra, Mr Muggles, the Haitian and his horn-rimmed glasses, leaving him alone and unable to read small print in the world.
*In my book, sorry, someone comes at you with telekinesis, that is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences. That's almost as bad as knowing karate or trying to hit you with a bottle.
See, with Claude either dead or in hiding, and Adam... well, I don't want to talk about Adam, but let's just say he will not be around anymore... Heroes needs a new character to bring the UK-based snark for which we are so justly renowned. Enter Colin Farrell, reeling from whiskey and stinking of sex, to mortally offend/wound/sexify everyone he comes across.
His first act will be making Peter cry by dismissing his prophetic drawings as "rubbish by spastics," then following that up by headbutting Sylar when he tries to take his ability (which, by the way, is never actually revealed to the audience) breaking his nose and possibly done while yelling something along the lines of "Telekinesis? No, don't bother!"*
Having effectively demonstrated that even Claire's healing abilities are no match for Colin Farrell, our soon-to-be fan favourite then avails himself of Sylar's wallet, Watch of Evilness and any spare booze he might have on his person before putting the boot in a couple of times and fleeing into the night, while the world's lamest super-powered serial killer is curled up in fetal agony on the floor. At which point Mama Petrelli shows up and points out that which we have always known, that Sylar is such a disappointment that he really could be one of the Petrelli boys after all.
Anyway, while Daddy Bennet and the Haitian are dispatched to track down Colin and recruit him into the latest incarnation of the Company/the Initiative/the Brotherhood of Mutants/whatever, Sylar and Peter put aside their mutual animosity in order to form the We Hate Colin Farrell club, and pinky-swear to eradicate him from the world once and for all. Later, Bennet will join their quest when it emerges that Colin has seduced Claire, Lyle, Sandra, Mr Muggles, the Haitian and his horn-rimmed glasses, leaving him alone and unable to read small print in the world.
*In my book, sorry, someone comes at you with telekinesis, that is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences. That's almost as bad as knowing karate or trying to hit you with a bottle.
