Tagged by thestorymaker:

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.



1. What is your favorite show on TV?
I don't actually have a TV aerial, so I never see anything until it's out on DVD or a friend pimps me an illegally downloaded copy, but I'm going to say Numb3rs because it is airing right now and also I am watching the fourth season as I type this and it is so beautiful and filled with Colby being tortured by Batman, you guys. Okay, it was only Fatass Kilmer Batman, but still.

2. Name five things you’d want with you if stranded on a desert island:
The Intarweb (for reading porn)
A laptop (to read intarweb porn on)
Cake (for eating while reading porn on the Intarweb)
Some DVDs (to watch on the laptop when not reading porn or eating cake)
Thlayli (for companionship/emergency source of protein)


3. What was the best part of your day?
That beautiful moment when the revolving door at the entrance to the House of Gas span me out into the free world, away from the fuckery of the general public.

4. What is your favorite scent?
Cinnimon, orange and clove

5. What is your favorite drink?
Maya Gold hot chocolate

6. What do you drink the most?
Coffee

7. What is your favorite restaurant?
Tintins, a wonderous (but ruinously expensive) Cantonese restaurant in Leeds

8. What will you be doing after finishing this?
Probably watch more Numb3rs, maybe drink some hot chocolate

9. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Alone

10. Your favorite romantic movie?
Heathers

11. What kind of person do you think the person is who tagged you ?
Pretty awesome

12. What are you afraid of?
Pretty much any kind of creepy-crawly.

13. What's your favorite item of clothing?
My "robots in disguise" t-shirt - it's got the Transformers logo wearing the GM 20-20s aka Groucho Marx glasses and "robots in disguise" written underneath it. LEGEND.

14. What time do you usually go to bed?
About 12.30am

15. What's the meaning behind your LJ username/name/nicknames you go by?
Back when I still lived at home, the two youngest Froodlebrothers, Buzz Lighthair and Kaizer Wilhelm, went on this camping trip thing with their Scout group. Kaizer Wilhelm came back with a toy monkey that had long dangling arms and legs that hung like limp noodles, and staring crack addict eyes ala Elijah Wood in Lord of the Rings. Frodo+Noodle = Froodle. The name amused me so much I co-opted it for my own use.

I tag:

ajmckay, alt-baie, chibimarchy, Snithy, girlofprey, marystmatthew, yume623 and itsjustc.

Oh shit, you guys! I'm watching that episode of Numb3rs with the Toxic Manifesto and the product tampering, and it's one of my favourite episodes, mostly because it combines the alpha-male coolness of Lou Diamond Phillips, aka Boothius Maximus, with this rancher dude who was falsely accused of selling tainted beef and killing a US Marshall, and he's all capable and manly and lives off the land in a way that makes me weak-kneed and trembly because I'm a lazyass city person and I find that whole concept terribly impressive, and I never really talked about this before because he's only in the one episode and he doesn't interact with any of the characters (because he's busy being a MANLY FUGITIVE FROM INJUSTICE!) and-and-and I just realized, he's the same guy who played stupid whiny Micheal from Stargate Atlantis and now I feel dirty and violated and not in the good way.

Sigh. Now I must find someone else rugged and capable to crush on.

Cramps. CRAMPS! Argh why! Why would you turn up now, at the start of the weekend, when things should be beautiful and full of joy? Why not turn up on Monday when your evil agony would just merge into the general agony of having to work in customer service and I would barely notice the difference? Bastards!

On a related note, work was even more annoying than usual today. I was mentoring - which essentially means I sit with some poor recently-employed sucker and lie to him about the many and varied joys of being employed at the House of Gas - and I had to write up a bunch of quality assessments and a "personal development plan*" for him and hand it to his training manager and the guy who will eventually be his full-time manager, and once I'd done it I got emails from both of them praising how thorough I was and how professional it looked.

And all I could think of doing was emailing them back and saying, "Yes, don't you think I should be on the fucking Correspondance team?!"

Ahem. Not that I'm holding a long-festering grudge or anything.

Anyway, I'm going to try and be happy and watch Numb3rs and eat this chocolate orange I bought at lunchtime. I just watched that episode where Papa Eppes has to go to a scary old lady birthday party and Charlie and Don have a spat in front of the FBI building about who has to go with him, and Charlie walks off in a mood and then you get this shot which is just Don standing there fuming for about ten seconds before he goes back to work, and it's beautiful. Oh Don, ILU even if you don't pistol-whip people enough anymore.

*Which, by the way, is a fucking joke - you only get put forward for non-Phone Monkey-related tasks if your manager decides to do it, meaning, in essence, it's not what you know, it's who you blow.

Lately I've been trying to convince myself that even though working at the House of Gas is slowly destroying my will to live, it's really not a good idea to leave before I've found another job. So this morning, Grantil and I were making the dread journey in together, amidst our own pitiful attempts to shore up each others spirits in preparation for the soul-sucking morasse of pain that awaited us:

Grantil: Well, we do get three days off every week. I mean, that's not bad, most people don't get that.
Froodle: Yeah, I actually sat down and worked it out, and we spend more days of the year away from work than we do at work.
Grantil: Seriously?
Froodle: Yeah, it works out as 180 days on, 185 days off. I mean, you have to count bank holidays and vacation time, but still.
Grantil: But how many vacation days did you add? 'Cause they say 23, but it's really less than that because they count eight hours as a whole day.
Froodle: Yeah, that's 19.89 days for us.
Grantil: Oh my God, you actually did it properly! You should be on Numb3rs.
Froodle: I should. I'd be like, "Using science and fucking retarded analogies I have calculated an algorithm that scientifically proves that our jobs are shit and we should all bunk off and drink coffee and then maybe gang-bang Charlie."
Grantil: That would be the best episode ever.
Froodle: That's what every episode is like anyway. They don't say it explicitly, but it's pretty clear the whole point of Numb3rs is that everyone wants to gang-bang Charlie.
Grantil: We need to go and work for the FBI.
Froodle: Seriously. We should say that in our exit interviews. "Qutting due to lack of gang-bangable mathematicians."
Grantil: Awesome. I'm putting that as a "suggestion for improvement" on my next Employee Engagement survey.

I didn't want to bring him down by pointing out that King Gas and the Royal Court of Price-Hiking Money Grabbers Who Can't Even Buy Us Decent Computers never listen to those suggestions, so I changed the subject to "non-fatal accidents we could get into that would prevent us from going to work." Incidentally, if somebody wanted to bomb the Crown Point around 9.40 tomorrow - I will love you forever, if I survive.

God, I hate my job.

Right, because all of you except chibimarchy are losers, there is only one answer for the meme I did a couple of weeks ago. Seriously you guys, epic fail.

The list of fifteen names was:

Lucas Buck (American Gothic)
Dr Matt (American Gothic)
Ray (In Bruges)
Todd (Stargate Atlantis)
Jake Green (Jericho)
Ben Hawkins (Carnivale)
Agent Booth (Bones)
Sweeney Todd (Sweeney Todd)
David (Lost Boys)
Micheal (Lost Boys)
KC (the Tribe)
Ebony (the Tribe)
Jordan Collier (4400)
Paul Avery (Zodiac)
Don Eppes (Numb3rs)

And the one and only question was:

You decide to pair two and eleven in a super-hot smut fic. Where does the 'action' take place?

I would like to point out for the record that I would never, ever write Dr Matt/Ebony, as that is sick and wrong even for me, but if I was going to, it would go something like this:

After Megas' bioweapon renders the City uninhabitable, Ebony, sick of Amber and Trudy always stealing her menfolk, decides to strike out on her own. She makes her way to Trinity, which has escaped the Virus unscathed (as Lucas and Merlyn do not hold with plagues they didn't bring about themselves). Being Ebony, she immediately sizes up the power structure in town and, with Selina sullying herself with Dr Billy, makes herself Lucas's newest go-to wench.

Meanwhile Caleb, prompted by Merlyn, has left Trinity and thrown in his lot with some South Carolinian tribesters. Lucas, faced with the prospect of handing his mantle over to the Gailbaby, is trying to locate him and drag him back by force. He suspects Dr Matt knows where Caleb is, but Dr Matt is still pretty pissed about being thrown into the Crazy House for Boys and isn't saying jack. So he dispatches Ebony on some mission-of-mercy-come-femme-fatale-seduction-fest in an effort to wheedle the information out of him. Hot sex ensues against the padded walls of Dr Matt's crazy-cell.

I don't know what happens after that, but it probably ends with Lucas and Ebony engaging in an all-out power struggle for control of Trinity. They'd be pretty evenly matched - Lucas has the power to make things happen, and Ebony, well... she's Ebony.

Aww fuck, you guys, I think I just permanantly destroyed Batman Begins for myself by watching it right after I watched Breakfast on Pluto. And for once it's completely my own fault, because I've seen both of them multiple times so I can't claim I was tricked into watching or anything. Now every time Dr Crane gases anyone, I keep seeing that scene from BoP where he imagines himself as an undercover counter-terrorist agent, complete with black PVC minidress and flashing a bright yellow bra, and he neutralizes all the bombers by spraying Chanel perfume* in their eyes, and it just destroys me.

In other news, I have decided to invent some kind of coolness scale where characters are awarded points based on the liklihood of them karate-chopping a midget. It'll look something like this:

Karate-chopping a midget: 10 coolpoints
Doing harm to a midget other than by karate-chopping it: 5 coolpoints
Not doing anything mean to a midget: 0 coolpoints
A midget karate-chops you: minus 10,000 coolpoints

I decided to test it out on a random selection and it works pretty well, as shown below:

Jack Bauer: would karate-chop a midget: 10 points.
Sweeney Todd: would cut a midget's throat and make it into pie: 5 points
Al Swearengen: as above, except replace "make it into pie" with "feed to Mister Wu's piggies": 5 points
Edward James Olmos: would shout or glare at a regular midget; only karate-chops midgets if they are Cylons: 7.5 points
Methos: doesn't know karate, but from a moral perspective, would have no problem karate-chopping a midget: 10 points, because he can always learn later.
The Dave: unable to bring himself to harm a midget: 0 points.
Giles: would karate-chop a midget, then fire-bomb its house, but only if the midget really pushed him to it: 10 points
Nathan Petrelli: no qualms about karate-chopping a midget whatsoever: 10 points
Angela Petrelli: would belittle the midget so much it karate-chopped itself: 10 points
Peter Petrelli: gets karate-chopped by the midget. Everyone laughs. Minus 10,000 points.
Agent Sands: if he still has eyes, karate-chops the midget; if not, shoots the midget after locating it by the sound of it's tiny midget feet: 10 points, because the intention is there if not the physical ability.
Moominpapa: doesn't know karate, and anyway has tiny Moomin arms unsuitable for midget-chopping. Would probably write a chapter in his Memoirs about how he karate-chopped it anyway: 5 points for inventiveness.
Mark Cohen from RENT: gets karate-chopped by the midget. Minus 10,000 points.
Idina Menzel, in anything: karate-chops that midget and makes it cry little midget tears. 10 points.
Akio Ohtori: karate-chops the midget, steals its fine midget hos, then runs the midget down in the Akiocar. 10 points.
Stringer Bell: karate-chops the midget only if economically viable. Otherwise, arranges to have it gunned down in a drive-by. 7.5 points.
Oogie Boogie: karate-chops the midget, sings a song about it: 10 points
Ben Hawkins: karate-chops a midget, spends three episodes angsting about it. 9.5 points, as he gets half a point deduction for angst.
Don Eppes: pre-The Bunk, karate-chops that midget and takes a suspension. Post-The Bunk, tries to work out his differences with the midget, then gets Lou Diamond Phillips to karate-chop it for him instead. 7.5 points.
Harvey Dent: gets karate-chopped by a midget, cries like a bitch. Ditto Two-Face, but with half as many tears. Minus 20,000 points because both personalities fail.

I call it the Froodilicus Scale of Karate-Chopped Midgets. Obviously you can't rely on it entirely - for example, Brennan would have no problem karate-chopping a midget whereas The Dave would, but clearly The Dave is clearly cooler than Brennan. But as a rough guide, it's pretty accurate.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm thinking of buying a new storage unit as the number of books, DVDs and random crap in my house has once again reached critical mass. At the moment I am torn between this and this. On the one hand, the cabinet gives me much more storage space and as it's got glass shelves, I can put my models and suchlike in there and not have to worry about dusting them. On the other hand, it's white and white wooden furniture always makes me feel like I'm trapped in a John Hughes movie circa 1984. Comments? Suggestions?

Oh, and finally, and having nothing to do with anything discussed above: MOAR ZODIAC PORN PLZ. That is all.

*For the record, given that pretty much every Chanel product smells like catpiss, I think it would be very effective as a weapon used either by or against terrorists. I know if you sprayed it on me, I'd be too busy choking and retching to even think about blowing stuff up until I'd had a shower.

Why is there not more Nurse!Joker porn? No, seriously. Why? If you're reading this and you haven't written any yet, you should be ashamed. It makes me doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion. Oh, and no Harvey, plzxthx. His stupid zombie-face annoys me.

On a totally different note, I feel it is necessary to state how much I love that episode of Miracles with Sherwood. I love it to the power of one of those sideways figures-of-eight. That scene where he's spinning the wheelchair around in a circle like a disco-dancin' Dalek, and he's going "doo-dee-doo-doo" in his Steven Hawkins machine-voice and the words are also appearing on his computer screen? So awesome, you guys. And also when Skeet tries to stop him from blocking the door and he's like, "Oh, nice, shove a cripple!"

I liked that bit in the Civil War episode where they're in the woods and Skeet's all, "We is lost," and Alva's like, "No, the trees are moving FROM SPOOKINESS!" and Skeet's like, *annoyed face*. Unlike his "I am sad/take me now" face, his "annoyed" face is always appropriate and unambiguous. I bet Alva does that all the time - like, they're trying to find an exit on the highway and they get lost and Alva's like, "Supernatural activities are causing the roads to move around!" and Skeet's like, *annoyed face* and Alva's like, "Skeet? Why are you putting on that Ghostface ma- argh oh no I am stabbed!"

I have never managed to stay awake during Hand of God, though. I don't know what it is, as it's pretty exciting with the murdering and all, but about the time Russ's firebug sidekick from Numb3rs hits Skeet with the iron, I doze off. I think the Skeet/Alva angst just disturbs me so much that my brain shuts down in self-defence.

The Dark Knight, dudes! ( Read more... )

In other news, the Southernator and I celebrated Heathfest '08 with 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale, the Southernator proved how much she fails at life by perving wrongly during TDK and forcing me to slap her, and also by not admitting the awesomeness of Numb3rs (another reason she has been removed from her position of power at the League of Hot) and we saw the WETA exhibition at the Royal Armouries and were confused by the random Poodle of Sauron armor. Also I totally broke my vow not to buy any more books or DVDs or random junk until such time as I have bought new shelves to hold them, and now I have to eat hobos for next two months. Fortunately they are drug-addled and easy to catch. I would like to add that really this is Snithy's fault, as she did not do as a true friend would and stop me, even after I graciously agreed to allow Robert Downey Junior be joint third with The Colin in the League of Hot. I even gave him his holy name - The Downey. I feel it says all that needs to be said.

Aww, guys, I just saw the cutest thing in the whole world ever. And it wasn't even a monkey holding a puppy! See, I was sweeping up around the rabbit pen, and there were a few bits of leek that had rolled under the food bowl and been hidden from view, and of course as soon as I unearthed them there was this huge bunny feeding frenzy, and somehow Thlayli and Kagame managed to get hold of one end of the same piece, and it was totally like the spagetti scene in Lady and the Tramp only with bunny-kisses and no stupid Italian dudes in the background.

Speaking of things that are cute, how awesome is that bit in Uncertainty Principle after Don gets shot and Charlie is all hysterical and Don's like, "Don't say anything to Dad, okay? Charlie! Nothing to Dad!" And it's like, Don, it was an FBI shootout that was on the news! He's acting like he scratched the car and is all like, "Shit, I'm in so much trouble!" and also, as if Papa Eppes is going to miss your bandaged arm and Charlie throwing fits in the garage. This is like the Numb3rs equivilent of that scene in the Lost Boys when Sammy's all, "My own brother, a Goddamn shit-sucking vampire. Oooh, you wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy!" and then storms up the stairs in a snit.

Oh no. I just reminded myself of the Lost Boys 2. I'm going to go cry into my pillow now.

Oh dudes, seriously, how gay is the second season ending to Numb3rs? That final scene where Charlie's dreaming about his mum, and then he wakes up and wanders into the dining room where Don's doing his paperwork, Charlie totally looks ready to jump him right there. Kiss my ass, Supernatural, this is what real homoerotic brother-on-brother tension looks like.

In other news, I'm afraid it is my sad duty to inform you all that the Southernator has gone completely insane, and has therefore been removed from her role as my co-executive director at the League of Hot. So complete is her delusion, she actually suggested Chad Micheal Murray, aka That Squinty-Eyed Idiot from One Tree Hill, as the third member of the Holy Triumvirate of Hotness. This is not only ridiculous, it's blasphemy, as everyone knows the Triumvirate, comprised as it is of the three most beautiful men alive, consists of Johnny Depp, David Boreanaz and Colin Farrell, aka The Depp, The Dave and The Colin. Anything else is heresy and punishable by being burnt at the stake.

Also, she's pretty much totally in love with Dan the Man. I'm not making this up.