Yesterday I had to walk around town with a broom sticking out of my backpack for two hours. I looked like a retarded ninja. And every time we walked under a low-hanging "SALE!" or "CHRISTMAS!" sign, it was like:

Aminder: Watch out for the-
Froodle: *THUNK* *is jerked back as broom handle catches on sign, door frame, light fitting etc*
Aminder: ...never mind.

And then, when I finally got home, instead of respecting the suffering I had gone to just to make tidying their pen easier, my bunnies decided chasing the broomhead and chewing the bristles and generally getting in the way was a hilarious game. So I was forced to cuddle them for their crimes, while watching werewolf movies that Aminder forced me to buy. Forced! My will was overborne. I shopped only under duress!

Also, I just realised Joe Dante directed the Howling. Heh. I get it now.

Having spent most of yesterday on the 'phone to various financial institutions both here and back home, (and, you know, the Samaritans) have persuaded the DoE to let me resubmit my application as a non-supported full-time student, therefore taking my idiot parents out of the equation entirely. Have also discovered that there's a Parish Fund I can apply for. So, things not so dark.

Am still considering killing my parents, because although getting caught would mean I lose my right to inherit, and even if I got away with it it would be months 'til I saw any money, I feel the deed itself would bring me a great sense of tranquility.

No, no, I kid.

Well, mostly.

Well, it looks like I can look forward to starting my career as a full-time phone monkey even sooner than expected. My parents still haven't filed their Financial Information form, so the Isle of Man Government has rejected my application for tuition fees and maintenance. I owe the BPP £4000 for this semesters teaching, and there's no way I can raise that, let alone the other four grand I need to complete my course. At best I'll have to defer, at worst, well... would you like fries with that?

Goddamnit, every time I see Nathan Fillion now, all I can think about are his huge nostrils. I swear, the only thing that keeps Jayne in check is the morbid fear of being swept away in the updraft when Mal makes his angry "Somebody is challenging my status as Alpha Male" huffing flary-nostrils face.

On a related note, Woolfie saw the film for the first time this afternoon. Her first reaction? "What is wrong with Simon's chin? It's huge! He looks like Desperate Dan!" Needless to say, I am in hysterics over this and Hannah is about ready to kill somebody.

Anyone remember if Desperate Dan had a catchphrase? I think I should learn it and say it at every opportunity.

Why does the world want to hurt me? Why are people always doing things that annoy me, like existing when I want them to be dead? What is it with stupid people and their whole having to be alive thing? I call that selfish.

To clarify, there is an idiot on my course who is quite possibly the most annoying human being on the face of the planet. For the sake of anonymity, I shall call him... Shitcock. In less than a month, Shitcock has managed to annoy me to a point that took La FLobadora two years to reach. More than David Blaine when he did that stupid glass box thing, even. Everything he does fills me with such a horrible rage, it can only be properly expressed by slaughtering some children and falling into some lava. If my life was a Star Wars movie, he would be Jar Jar.

Now I'm going to eat some chocolate buttons and watch movies with Colin Farrell in. Lookit the ickle monkey hand!

There is a guy on my course whose name I cannot recall, but who is forever emblazoned in my mind as the guy who said "Cricket" when the property law lecturer asked what environmental issues a potential homebuyer would look into, and hinted that it had been on the news a lot recently. For this reason, I call him Cricket. He looks kinda like Lindsey McDonald but with better hair. I keep looking at him and wondering if he has ickle tattooes under his clothes. Then I wonder if he has a stalker's shrine to Angel in his bedroom.

I think the answer is yes.