(no subject)

[froodle]

Watched the Richard Roxburgh version of Hound of the Baskervilles this evening, despite Jonathan's dire warnings that doing so would cause my head to explode/give me cancer/result in millions of David Blaine clones.

It wasn't that bad, once I got passed the whole 'Dude, that's Dracula...' thing with Roxburgh. The deep shock came near the end of the film, with the sudden realisation that Ian Hart, who plays Watson, is Quirrel from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Which wasn't as disturbing as the Moriarty/Homer Simpson thing, but did have the effect of throwing the entire film off-kilter.

(Incidentally, have decided that if the ACD characters were characters in the Simpsons, Watson would totally be Marge. Unless it's the Nigel Bruce version of Watson, in which case, he'd be Milhouse.)

Also: Richard E. Grant. In another Holmes film. And somehow, not playing Sherlock. How does this keep happening?

The CGI on the Hound was bad. Really bad. Like, worse than Underworld.

Watson was very... unWatsony. In a non-Sherlock Holmes film, I would have adored his character, but here it was just odd. Very odd.

Other than that, mildly entertaining, and yay for homoerotic bathing scenes, which as we all know, the world needs more of - I'm looking at you, Lord of the Rings.

Comments

*plays piano*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

you didnt mention the hound enough
it was really, Really shitty.

also watson was too close to het-porn-star watson to be enjoyable (compared to holmes and that american fop anyway). its when directors flaunt their power over a character's sexality that pisses me off.
everybody knows they should just leave it slashy and adorable.


and chock full of richard e grant

[froodle]

Dude. Never use 'Watson' and 'porn star' in the same sentence again.

And yes, yes and YES to your other three statements.

*smiles and revises*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

didnt you just ask me if you could use the phrase "het-porn-star" in relation to watson
as it's such a great neological adjective of combined verb modifiers

Re: *smiles and revises*

[froodle]

No, no I didn't.

Also, ha, I get to watch Angel and you don't.

Re: *smiles and revises*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

*doesnt mind waiting for saturday night ambience*



fuck.you.

and your stupid stamps.

Re: *smiles and revises*

[froodle]

*whimpers*

My... my stamps!

Re: *smiles and revises*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

*laugh/giggles manically*

yes. your stamps.



*lick*

Re: *smiles and revises*

[froodle]

You know, my icon is so much better looking than yours.

So there.

Re: *smiles and revises*

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

really?

which one is coming up?

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

fuck you! my icon is beautiful.

[froodle]

Bah. I spit on your strange Paul Bettany silhouette. Thlayli is so obviously prettier.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

no. no he isnt.
he's furry and not. just. not, ok.

and if you dont agree with me then i start talking bad, oki?

[froodle]

I keel you, bitch!

Seriously though, I'm doing you a favour. Once you start to talk like the foul Ubongbeast, it's all over.

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

admit it!

[froodle]

Never!

...admit what?

even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

*actual laughter*


apart from the fact that you are actually a filthy het.

that my icon is prettier than yours.

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

No, and never.

You = Robowatson. So there.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

Ah! my upper lip!

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

The voice! Dear God, that voice.

*shudders*

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

why do my arms trail on the floor?



*dies at sound of own voice and is dead*

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

*giggles*

They should make an episode where Holmes discovers that cocaine is no longer legally available in the 22nd century. 'Cause brat!Holmes amuses me.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

sogood!

include that in the 21st book.
timetravel. very quickly though

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

Can Holmes and Stephen have an international bitch-off?

And Holmes can sue Pullings for identity-theft and hat-mockery leading to emotional trauma.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

wouldn't all the pulllingss get confused?

and YES

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

There would only be one Pullings. That's the whole point of Tom - his entire existence is to attract all the pain and bad things in the universe, and get laughed at by heartless people.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

*laughs*


the cutlass!

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

"What are you doing with that... argh, my face!"

Poor, poor Tom.

*laughs up her sleeve*

And Holmes would be all like, well, I'm taking my hat back, but you can keep the cocaine addiction. And Tom will be like, Goddamn it!

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

HA!


mmmm cocaine

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

Which burns, you know. Like a burning thing. That burns you.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

it does?
like fire?

or like hot?

why is it all the great ones have such addictions?

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

I dunno. Maybe it's an intellectual thing.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

i have addictions.
does that make me smart?

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

No.

Being smart means you have addictions.

Having addictions just means you're a dumbass.

Therefore, you = dumbass.

Ha.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

but if being smart means you have addictions and having addictions just means you're a dumbass then you're a dick because you used an american word for arse.
i hat you.

*is smart*

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

I Norringtonhat you.

So there.

Anyway, it's Froodlogic. Your tiny non-Froodlish mind could never understand it.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

that's because IT MAKES NO SENSE!

unlike hexian logic which the world runs on

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

That's why the world sucks.

Hexian logic = the reason behind Reality TV.

I spit on you.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

no. reality tv is the fault of um.... one of my workers who i accidently gave too much power to

even though im perfect and cant do anythign wrong but he.. um... fell! from my service and made all the bad things in the world happen.


i am actually perfect otherwise

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

Like God, then?

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

NO.


damnit. worship me or i will SO blast you through the floor, straight to hell.

where my fallen helper will torture you.
not that im not completely

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NO.


damnit. worship me or i will SO blast you through the floor, straight to hell.

where my fallen helper will torture you.
not that im not completely <A href"www.dictionary.reference.com/search?q=benevolent">benevolent</A> or anything

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

*looks at you for a long time*

*smirks*

Haha, your fans are Christians! They wake you up early on Sundays! They knock on people's doors and give them shitty annoying leaflets and magazines.

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

i fucking hate you so fucking much.

also. i contradict myself and provide an easy means of discrimination.

Re: even all negative

[froodle]

Yes. And your fans are idiots.

"God doesn't like rape. Rape's pretty mean, you know. You shouldn't do it."

becomes

"Gasp! God hates gays! Let's burn them, lest their limp wrists and lispy voices threaten our masculinity! Then we'll rape them; that'll show them that our God doesn't love them!"

Re: even all negative

[clay-mans-maker.livejournal.com]

ha ha ha limp wrist.


yes. my followers. Twist my already stupid words for your own purposes!

[imbeiaiel.livejournal.com]

Milhouse? :) I'm definitely in two minds about that adaptation - the prize for worst Holmes committed to celuloid has to be Matt Frewer's (shudders). He was playing "mannerisms" rather than a character. I was waiting for the Holmes cliches to appear - Holmes wears a deerstalker, Holmes does wide-eyed stare... etc. etc. He must have been modelling himself on Rathbone but forgetting to give Holmes any personality :) I did hear that he thought Jeremy Brett's Holmes was cold (had he not seen "The Blue Carbuncle"?! (g) ) and tried to make his version more cheerful. Not that I noticed :)

I thought Ian Hart's Watson was a bit off - not sure why. Pimps icons Gratuitous bathing scenes you say? :)

[froodle]

YES! Turkish bath scene, I salute you! *steals icon*

Oh, Nigel Bruce's Watson would so be Milhouse. At first I was going to say Ralph, but then, who would Lestrade be? And Holmes would be Lisa. And yes, Mycroft would be Bart. Because I'm evil like a monkey.

I've not seen Matt Frewer as Holmes, sounds like one to avoid. I think the weirdest one was James D'Arcy in Case of Evil - it wasn't bad, it was just... really odd. Kind of like Ian Hart's Watson.

And speaking of gratiuitous bath scenes, woohoo for the Master Blackmailer! Which also backs up your point about Jeremy Brett's Holmes not being all that cold. Though Irish Plumber!Holmes is funny on all sorts of levels.

Incidentally, did you know that if you search Thesaurus.com for 'plumber', Sherlock Holmes comes up as a result?

Weird.

[imbeiaiel.livejournal.com]

Always happy to oblige - just been looking at some of your later posts - having strange urges to add "Holmes in the bath" to tomorrow's icon post - I wonder why? :)

Lestrade would have to be Chief Wiggum and Moriarty has to be Sideshow Bob, being an evil genius and all that!

I've not seen the James D'Arcy one - I quite like the Ian Richardson Holmes, he's aesthetically perfect but a bit detached to be a great Holmes. Irish!Plumber Holmes!!! I do tend to watch the Granada series and start laughing for no apparent reason - dishevelled Holmes in his dressing gown in the Blue Carbuncle, Watson getting a fit of the giggles in the Red-Headed League - it's wonderful. I can't imagine Jeremy Brett playing Holmes as cold - just look at how he greets Watson in The Empty House - too cute.

Still haven't watched SH22 - will do though :)

[froodle]

Oh well, if Moriarty is Sideshow Bob, then Holmes has to be Bart. The red baseball cap can replace the deerstalker and the skateboard takes the place of the first-class carriages in trains.

I think the real question is, who will be Krusty the Clown?

I'm the same - many's the time that my housemates have stuck their head 'round the door to demand why I'm laughing, only to have me point at the TV and make some incoherent comment along the lines of 'He's such a bitch!'.

And don't forget his Irish Plumber!Hat. I want to see an adaptation where all of Holmes' "disguises" consist of him wearing different hats. Like Team Rocket in Pokemon.

[imbeiaiel.livejournal.com]

Krusty the clown? Needs to have daddy issues - maybe Thaddeus Sholto from "Sign of Four"? I want to know who Mr Burns would be.

I've just remembered about Cross-Dressing!Holmes (I'm re-reading the canon and can't for the life of me remember which story it's from - or if I'm making this up!)

He's notorious for being good at putting on disguises so I bet he's got a collection of hats for: Groom!Holmes, Opium Den!Holmes etc. etc. :)