froodle | (no subject)

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(no subject)

If you could travel back in time, what would you do?

Aside from blasting Chinky Chinkerton with a laser gun when she asked me to work on the EU project with her, I'd like to travel back in time to when it was socailly acceptable to own a haram of boys. Ancient Rome or something. Maybe Greece or Venice. Wherever people were big with the boy-molestin'. And I'd warn myself not to watch Queen of the Damned, and not to cling to some foolish hope that it might not be as shitty as it looked.

Amassing an army of dinosaurs would be pretty cool, too. I could rule the world with them.

Oh, and I'd castrate Graham Norton's parents. Or maybe just kill them. And destroy their bodies, to prevent any chance of cloning.

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persia.

persia would be good. also, could you kill some pitt while you're there.

menalaeus was a dick.

robot dinosaurs?

and if you take the speech out of QotD then its not too bad, and completely ignoring the characters is good too.

did you see what they did to marius!?

*of american liposuction.

*sobs*

Ooh, poor, poor Marius.

You know how something can be so terrible, it causes you actual physical pain? That's what QotD did to me.

he used to have the hair and the lovely hair and i liked it
you know, if pity didnt burn, i'd give you some, but here, have these biscuits instead*

*laughs behind hand* you watched queen of the damned.
you thought parts of it it were good.

*secret ingredient, extract of pity.

Luckily, I gave them to one of your hobo chums. Ha!

You watched Stuart Little 2, and you loved it. Filthy whore.

no, no i didnt.

well, you have aids.
and everyone knows you get aids from hobos who have het sex
ya filthy het.

you disgust me.

I think you'll find, my dearest Holmefry, that it is you who is the filthy het of the hoboish nature.

Also, you like the Duchess of York and think she was relevent and worthy of the Peter Pan dvd.

stop talking, you have hetism and therefore shouldnt talk.

now make up a disease for me.

p.s. all whining about the duchess shall hitherto be construed as secret!lust, for the duchess.

I don't have to make up a disease for you. Fuckwaddery is a medically recognised condition and one you clearly suffer from.

not a disease that i am to suffer from. shit-fer-brains

but i am lazy and cant be bothered to think one up, so think one up for me.

No. I'm lazier.

that is just so obviously wrong.

you write all the damn time and actually did revision to-day.
i slept out on the grass and cant even remember the last time i beta'd anything you wrote.

The writing doesn't count as a de-lazying activity; it's a mental disorder. Hell, you should know that, you've read some of it.

yeah and its good.
obvious effort in fact.

include a link to your current favourite in your reply please.

It's good because I am funny.

And Johnny Nefronticrede is still my all-time favourite.

well, not to do a davan but yeah.

that one's good, except the bit where tracy actually knows what nefronticrede means.
i dont like that bit.

It's in the Fangirl Saga that Tracy knows what it means, but yes, I take your point, it's very out-of-character. I might edit it in a later version.

or just kill her.
why cant you kill her
it annoys me that you havent yet
she should be dead and somehow still being tortured inthe nefronticrede back garden,
now that's in character.
the villain should be wildly attractive and secretly lusted after by froodle who has to fight to retain her non-hetness.

You're not getting it, are you?

The Nefronticredes (and various sidekicks) are the villians. They're evil and charming bloodthirsty and witty and violent and arrogant and vindictive and snarky in that way that only the British can be.

The people they torture aren't villians; they're victims. Froodle's archfoes can't be wildly attractive because if they were, they'd already be working for her.

Anyway, Tracy's supposed to annoy you. That's what makes seeing her suffer so funny.

*changes perspective* .. ahhh..
yeah but why did you let her get away?
so pain.

Because I was setting the stage for the rest of the series. Which I was too lazy to actually write.

yeah but now she's just a shitty villain/victim whatever.

if you want to keep her around and the characterisation the same then you have to have a different reason for her lack of death.
i.e. 1.) living = more pain for her.
2.) you like hurting her, death would end this.
or 3.) you enjoy her pain.

not that nefronticredeness is at all limiting.

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(no subject)

norton doesnt have any parents, i created him to torment you from old shoes and the waste products*

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eww

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holmeboy

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