froodle | (no subject)

So, I was going to tell you all about this amazing website I found that basically retells myths and folklore and fairytales in like, people-words, and how that story I heard about, that I thought had canon mpreg, was about Loki fucking a horse, as a girl-horse, and then having that horse's eight-legged horse babies, basically so Odin didn't have to pay a giant dude for building Asgard, and then what happens is that Odin keeps the horse, and all the gods get a hall in Asgard,except Loki, even though getting boned by a demon horse is the ABSOLUTE EPITOME of taking one for the team, and it was hilarious and about Odin just being massively douchey in an amazing way, but I can't tell you about that right now, because I just watched the Breakfast Club and it was AMAZING and basically, Judd Nelson gets all the blowjobs from now on. Like, all the blowjobs that are not specifically earmarked for Colin Farrell? Those are Judd Nelson's blowjobs right there.

Anyway, I am full of zucchini fries and chocolate mousse and some cocktail, I dunno, it was nice, so I'm going to take a bath and go to bed and maybe tomorrow I will tell you about the website I found and how pimping your friends to demon horses to avoid paying your bills is how I'm going to live my life from now on.

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Judd Nelson has always been my guilty secret - second only to Andrew McCarthy. Add the two of them together fighting in St Elmos Fire and you have the teen girl's dream that never goes away :)

i remembered that i had a crush on him as a teenager but i had totally not expected to still fancy him a.thousan years later! i need to see st elmos.fire now also!

Would this site by any chance be http://bettermyths.com/ ?

(Yes, I also check it regularly.)

YES IT WAS! I cannot believe I am only now.finding it, though on the plus side, it.means there are YEARS WORTHS of brilliantly retold myths just WAITING for.my eye to gaze.upon.

Pimping your friends to demon horses? Or your sons? Odin can always out-douchebag them all. He's liken unto Zeus in that way.

I'm pretty sure there's a Celtic myth that has canonical mpreg as well, also because of animal transformation, but I can't seem to find it right now. I'm pretty sure it actually exists though. It seems like all the old-time people cared about was getting dudes pregnant.

If that had been Loki's backstory for going all aggro in Thor... well honestly I would have been a bit freaked out, especially in 3D, but having horsesex to settle your dad's debts and then not even getting a room of your own as a thank you is a way better reason for losing the head than some kind of temper tantrum over the fact that the Puberty Fairy came to Asgard, gave your brother sixty pounds of solid muscle amd skipped you entirely, basically dooming you to an eternity of sloppy seconds.

I love that all these old religious dudes had these totally fucked up stories about animal sex and mpreg and cannibalism, because it basically means that EVERYTHING FANDOM DOES IS OK, since there was fucked up shit.being written thousands of years ago that puts all the.kink memes to shame!

Ahahaha, I know what website you are talking about, and it is one of my favorite websites. Mythology and lots of swears--it's like it was made for me!

So far my favourite one is the one where Thor wants to borrow this dudes pan and he destroys his house and eats all his cows and beats this dude up amd ALL FOR A PAN and then in the end the other dude is all on fire and crippled amd hes like WHATEVER HAVE THE PAN and then Thor is really happy, like he has no idea of what a dick he's been to this poor pan dude, and he just flies off home like an oblivious asshole with this pan that apparently was worth picking a fight with a GIANT DOOM SNAKE for.