froodle | (no subject)

And, as promised earlier, the teachings of Froodle:

Stupid Irish jewellery, uses of:

This, by the way, is all the Miriglum's fault, for texting me during the early hours to say that, in Buffy's place, she wouldn't be so quick to discard rings with the power to make naked Angel fall from the ceiling. This naturally lead to a conversation about where such magical Angel-summoning rings could be aquired, but in the end we were forced to abandon the idea due to my conviction that such actions would lead to the summoning of Fat!Xander and my untimely and very painful death.

The moral of this story is that you should never, ever wear stupid Irish jewellery, or you might get crushed to death by Fat!Xander falling on you from a great height.

I think I just found the perfect gift idea for Hex's birthday.

Wesley's spine-collecting activities:

Cast your minds back to the halcyon days of Angel S2. It was a golden age, full of snarkiness, Barry Manilow and Angel's please-don't-seduce-me face. And Steve, of course.

But more importantly, this was the point at which Wesley went from annoying git who had the audacity to replace Doyle, to a character who (until replaced by the Robowes in season 3) was likable, amusing and possessed of an actual backbone.

Where did this backbone come from, you ask? Well, the only possible answer is that Wesley stole it from someone else. Who this first victim was is unknown, but it seems likely that this was merely the begining in a long career of spine-stealery, later continued by the Robowes.

Certainly by "That Old Gang Of Mine", Wesley was sporting a shiny new spine, as demonstrated by his speech to Gunn at the end of the episode. But secretly, his misappropraited spine had been in place long before this: sending the rebels off to die in Pylea, and telling Meanie!Angel to get out during the whole Darla fiasco, not to mention his (hilarious) Angel impersonation in "Guise Will Be Guise" - although that could have been The Coat controlling him, in much the same way Gravitation's Hatre is controlled by his Hat.

Alas, one spine was not enough, and Wesley soon began a downward spiral of spine-stealage. While Gunn's sudden change in attitude in season 3 could have been due to Fred's personality-sucking influence, it could also have been the work of that master spine-stealer, Wesley. Kidnapping Baby!Connor under the pretense of the doomful prophecy was also clearly Robowes attempting to steal his spine without Angel noticing (though anyone who falls for the Evil Hand line is obviously too dense to notice his son's new-found spinelessness, and is yet another example of the Robowes malfunctioning).

The Robowes continued this legacy until the very end, and, late in season five, took on an apprentice in the form of Illyria, as evidenced by her "I will make trophies of their spines!" line in "Not Fade Away". You may think it was just Blue!Fred's usual posturing, but in fact, these spines were intended as a peace offering to the Robowes.

Angelus Concentrate

With the recent announcement of an exclusive, limited edition Faith collectable plate being released to compliment the forthcoming Angel collectable plate series, I have reached the conclusion that the Angel Merchandising Fools are planning to release a whole range of kitchenware and foodstuffs, turning Angel into something akin to the Hello Kitty franchise.

With this in mind, we bring you: Angelus Tabasco Sauce.

Yes, that's right, sprinkle neat over salads or pizza for a full-on Angelus experiance, or dilute with soul and tomatoes for a truly Angelic pasta dish.

Because frankly, the sort of people who make Wesley collectable plates will stop at nothing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

this ring isnt irish you Freak. its Oirish.... you gave me a plastic thing for my birthday and now i must cry.

also. yes. your theory of wes's spine stealage is finely honed and acceptable as truth, i.e. cannon. just like robowes and angelwhore.

you know, its a pity angel became such a marshmallow that eve's red and lacys dont fit him anymore, such a pity. connor is most upset and is turning to steve for comfort like a tacky hurt/comfort/"humour"/spankage fic written by a toddling feminist-in-denial with a fake fetish for blood.

No. Claddagh rings really are Irish. And stupid. And unbelievably ugly. They only become Oirish if exposed to David Boreanaz's Orish accent.

Anyway, you can't cry. Fat!Xander just fell on you, and now you are dead.

Which is good, because otherwise I might have to kill you for your stupid, erroneous and wetelkopf-inducing remarks.

Can imagine Lindsey would sleep with Connor if it was the closest he could get to Angel, though. It's Darla all over again, only male, so less disgusting.

Not that the Lindsey Orgasm Face isn't always disgusting.

would connor smack lindsay around?

As a general reaction to Lindsey being annoying and short and stalking his dad, yes.

As some kind of S&M activity, probably not. I just don't see Connor as the S&M type.

[Doyle] Okay, now I do, and it;s disturbing. [/Doyle]

[faith as buffy] that would be wrong [/faith as buffy]

and you're right, not in S&M, maybe BDS&M but otherwise..meh.

Still don't see Connor as the BDSM type. He's more the sweet and naive and molestable type, as evidenced by his seduction at the hands of evil!Cordy.

that was an act and you knowit.

you see the things he'll do with angel.
*le shudder du eyetwitch*

I've read the things he'll do with Angel, and I still think he's young, cute and molesterable.

As well as a genius for giving us the term "Connor'd".

define

When you're not actually attracted to someone, but are turned on by the fact that they're obviously turned on by you.

See also, Summer Lovin'.

gotit. do we actually have all these written somewhere?
because we should.

we could expand orjasm's lexiconography.

Yes, we should.

You go do that.

I have to concentrate on not falling asleep.

you know what's good for not falling asleep.
1.) trying to fall asleep
2.) lying down
3.) warm milk
4.) a nice bed time story
5.) a 300 lb teddy bear called angel.

I think you lie.

Wanton hussy who fantasises about Connor in suspenders.

i am not angel dear.

Are you sure?

*le poke du tummy*

heeeey *le giggle*
im not... *le molest via duvet*

Is it even possible to molest by proxy?

YES

technically everyone does everything via proxy. except mike.

if you accept that the soul or mind of a person is seperate to the body of a person .
because it is the mind that controls, not the body, bt it is the body that acts.

of course, this does sound stupid
but its necessary to believe this if you want to be a thiest, pan or mono.
especially christians.

you'd be surprised how many christians think that^ is a load of donkey

That's because Mike is Jack Davenport and therefore has special powers.

Or because you talk nonsense.

You total bitch.

whatever uke-lindsay.

Damn you, wretched harlot.

thus i win again.

i really do win alot, pretty much all the time really..

*le smirk du nail admire*

......

......

Damn you.

*LICK*

*does not melt*

*does not melt*

*does not melt*

...aww damnit...

*melt*

its alright. we all know you dont have air conditioning. nobody thinks any less of you fro not being able to hold your body structure together.

I am like tasty ice-cream! You desire my ice-creamy goodness.

.....yes. *back away slowly avoiding eye contact* yes we do....

*le run*

Rarr! Ice-cream power!

SORBET

You disgust me.

More than usual.

spines?

Yes. Lots of spines. Used as toastracks. By Wesley, to whom you are inferior.