froodle | (no subject)

According to the Forbidden Planet newsletter, next month sees the release of limited edition collectable Angel plates. The first series features Angel, Cordy, Wes and Gunn.

Yeah, you heard. Collectable. Fucking. Plates.

Now I freely admit to being a merchandise whore, but the idea of eating my tea off Wesley's face is wrong on more levels than I can count. And I wish I hadn't thought that.

Why are there collectable plates? Why are the Angel merchandising people wasting precious time and resources on kitchen ware when they should be working on mass producing an Angel puppet? What is wrong with the universe?!

For future reference, what I really want to see is a line of Angel plushies, similar to the Kenshin ones that had Kenshin with several different facial expressions and outfits. It'd be great - they could have two Angelus dolls, one of the bad old days with the fluffy hair and the frockcoat, and one of the Sunnydale Angelus with a silk shirt and leather pants. And the smexy smirk of evility, of course. And then you have grumpy!Angel, with the scowl and the all-black; corporate!Angel with the Wolfram and Hart suits; wacky disguise!Angel with silly hat and Miami Vice shirt and socially awkward!Angel with the guilt-induced white sweater and his "please don't seduce me!" face.

Of course, all clothes shall be interchangable, because everyone wants to see Angelus in a wacky disguise.

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Plates?! Geez... what's going on in the world? Now Angel plushies? That sounds much more like it. Imagine the fun trading Angel's wardrobe with Angelus'! Easy to spot the latter a mile off what with those leather trousers and penchant for wearing silk or in his mad/bad incarnation with removable period hair.

Obviously it's the work of David Blaine and his army of supreme evil. Only he could come up with something so dastardly. I just can't believe someone thought collectable plates were a good idea for Buffy and Angel fans. Collectable plates are for little old ladies who have a dresser full of teapots with kitten on them.

It'd be hours of quality edutainment! Think of the mix and match possibilities - Ye Olden Tymes Angelus with breeches, a Hawaiian shirt and a leather jacket. Socially awkward!Angel in leather pants!

Also, they should all come with the tattoo and a towel, for showertime Angel fun. Because it would just be annoying if we had to pay extra for a showertime!Angel.

It is slightly disturbing, don't you think? They'll be like those horrendous decorative plates with puppies you get in the bits that fall out of the paper at the weekend - bloody awful. There was me thinking that having action figures was a little full-on.

Brilliant! You too can have hours of fun with your very own Angel and/or Angelus. Do you remember those "Little Red Riding Hood" dolls you could get as a kid where you could transform them from the Grandmother to LRRH to the wolf? There so should be one for Angel.

That would just be cruel - or it could be an optional extra with the standard model perhaps - the NC17 version?

Grr, I cannot win! There's a "limited edition" Faith collectable plate being released too. *headdesk* This has to be a sign of the Apocalypse.

I liked some of the action figures - who doesn't want a Dopplegangland Willow? - but apart from the dvds, the only Angel merch I really went for was the Angelus bust. Le fluffy hair!

Hahaha, I remember those RRH dolls! So scary. Remember Werebears? They worked on the same principles. Very cool.

Oh no! As soon as I read that line about NC17-rated Angel plushies, I had this mental image of Angel dressed as one of those "Adult Superstars" dolls - the one with the miniskirt and the bunches and the lollipop. Sometimes I hate my mind.

It must - I'm having nightmares about it already.

Oh yes, I might have to conceed on the Doppelgangland Willow action figure. I need to watch my dvds again. Only got season 1 so far but the rest are looking tempting. It's like with Buffy though - season 4? I don't think so. Did I mention that I hated Riley? And the Initiative?

Werebears? I always was slightly disturbed by those! My sister had a RRH doll.

Oops... sorry about that :) I'm not going to mention the salacious thoughts going through my head right now.

Urgh. Riley. I mean, I know that the angst-fest that was Buffy/Angel would be a tough act to follow, but Riley had all the charm and charisma of a dead fish on a stick. Plus, creepy eyes.

That scene in... I think it was Sanctuary, the second episode of Angel with Faith in, and at the end Buffy is all, "Yes well, I have someone new and he's BETTER THAN YOU!", I was like, damn it Buffy! I was on your side right up until then. How can anyone say Riley was better than Angel, ever? It disgusts me.

Stupid Riley.

Fair enough - get Buffy a new love interest - but why choose the least charismatic character imaginable?! He makes some of Buffy's other boyfriends seem positively exciting. Dull, dull, dull.

All that "eternal love that cannot be" etc etc doesn't hold up to much scrutiny if she goes on the rebound straight away. Maybe if she'd chosen someone better I might have been more forgiving. I'm just remembering the Buffy/Angel angst fest in season 1 - awwh.

and some sort of inflatable tummy?

You're not funny, Hex. You're fat, and look as if you should be, but you're not.

*earns 10 cool points for Lock, Stock reference*

cool points are retarded now.
that's double the badpoints for you.

In that case, badpoints are the new coolpoints. So I get 20 badpoints, which means I'm 20 points cooler than I was before.

that means the zillion badpoints you gave me are now cooling me a hella lot.

also. angel is Fat.

No. Old badpoints are still bad. Only new ones have changed.

I'm ignoring that now. You're so boring and predictable.

am not. am interesting and vibrant.

at least you cant tell exactly what im doing.

or prehaps you could. do you know what my newest addiction is?

El and Sands porn.

And at least I'm not a "bisexual Wiccan".

wrong
and wrong

i was taking the piss only to bring you pain