froodle: (0)
...all long pig, all the time... ([personal profile] froodle) wrote 2005-07-15 02:37 pm (UTC)

I think it lends itself well to a trilogy or two. It would be called Livejournal Wars, and tell a bold tale of daring-do as a select band of heroes battle against the corruption of an evil empire:

Episode One: The Phantom Froodle

In which a small, annoying version of Froodle runs around and is small and annoying. Also stars LIAM NEESON for no particular reason other than his general awesomeness.

Episode Two: Attack of the Username Clones

In which an angsty pubescent Froodle romances her ice-cream, in strict defiance of the Frozen Yoghurt Council. Contains horrible dialogue about ice-cream being soft, not coarse like sand. Unless it's ice-cream eaten on the beach, in which case sand is inevitable.

Episode Three: Revenge of the Froodle

More things happen, I don't know. Froodle kills small, ability-challenged child actors. Daniel Radcliffe IZ DED! Froodle then falls into a volcano and becomes an EVIL BLACK ROBOT! Ewan McGregor WEARS A BEARD! It is the most important cinematic event of our time! Yay!

Episode Four: A New Username

Evil Black Robot Froodle blows up a planet out of spite. Because I can! Something about an annoying farmboy. More sand. Everyone hates sand. Alec Guiness dies. Dr Kelso from Scrubs is the Emporer. Why? BECAUSE I SAY SO!

Episode Five: Froodle Strikes Back

Annoying farmboy gets his hand cut off. Everyone laughs, because that right there is Comedy Gold. Some folk get dipped in vats of liquid metal and sold as examples of modern sculpture. Rich people pay vast amounts of money for this, because people are stupid, and Evil Black Robot Froodle makes a fortune, but does not buy a new respirator.

Episode Six: Return of the Froodle

Dancing teddybears are involved. Hayden Christensen is in it for No Reason Whatsoever. I kick R2D2 to death because he Pisses Me Off! His stupid little droid body is no match for my Evil Black Robot Legs!

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